3 Days Left...

[Mommabee]

I don't post here much...mainly because I joined the party a little late andeveryone already seemed to have settled into a group.

Anyhow, hoping I can get a little advice, maybe a kind word or two lol

I had really bad GD with my last pregnancy... I dont ever want to go through that again. We werent planning this baby at all, but when we found out around 9/10 wks, we decided to go ahead and just take what we were given.

Now, at first, I was really going to be green. Then as I was about 14/15 wks, I started getting really impatient to know. Tbh, I posted a comparison pic on Facebook, and everyone was going on about it being a girl this time. Idk, I know everyone means well, but it really makes a person sooo happy to hear everyone saying EXACTLY what you want to hear (nevermind those bothersome boy guesses on your 11w6d nub pic lol). plus, since I really want a girl, it's just gonna burn to go back and not say it's a girl. I know people will say I'm sorry..it's no way to welcome ababy.

I really just have to know. I dont know how Ill react, but I hope I'm one of those people that don't have a lick of GD the 3rd time around. I want to be a regular sad...not 24 weeks of hell like last time. I want to be happy, not just pretend. I'm so tired of that. This is a joyus time, why do I feel this way? Know what I mean?

The one good thing is that everyone still thinks I'm not finding out and only my close family, hubs, and on-line friends even know about my appt. I even straight up lied to one of my closet friends and said this was a regular ob appt and we would set up the scan then (she wants to come and have the tech tell her in her ear...seriously? Wth?). I don't know I tv kinda sucks having no one to understand me. Hubs is just scared of me getting depressed again...he put up with a lot last time. I'm scared too.

I really really hope I hear girl at this u/s, but I'm trying to prepare for a boy. I flip flop back and forth on what I 'feel' it is, but I really don't know. My 5 yr old always said that ds2 was a boy- he was! & now he's sure this one is a girl. I asked him 'well, what if it's a boy?' And he thought about it and shrugged 'so what? If it's a boy it's okay...if it's a girl that's okay too'. <3 I'm trying to keep that in mind too

[Mommabee]

Omg, I really wrote a longgggg post. Sorry. Guess I needed to release that word vomit. Lol.

[jennaesue]

My third child was also an oops pregnancy. After ds2, we planned to try for a third (and I planned to sway or at that point I was thinking we might to MS/IUI because it was still an option then) in a few years. Well, then I had a birth control mix-up at the pharmacy and missed a week, and lo and behold, we were expecting. I was really hoping it was a girl, and in fact really felt that it was a girl. But at my 20 week ultrasound we found it was another boy. I was sad (very sad - I cried a lot for a week or two), but by the time he was born, my sadness was gone and I was just happy to have a new little baby. I really think my gender disappointment got better with each boy I had. Which gives me hope that I might not be a total basket case if this new baby is a boy, too. And our third was supposed to be our last. But then when he was about 9 months old, my dh surprised me by saying he was up for another baby, and about a year after that, I swayed and we got pregnant. So here I am with another chance. I am fully expecting this to be a boy, but I am still glad I got one more chance. So you never know what will happen.

I hope you hear "it's a girl" at your ultrasound, but if not, I hope you let yourself be sad and give yourself the time you need to process the news, and then I hope you fall head over heels in love with your new little one. Good luck and I can't wait to hear the results!

ps: I think you are making the right decision finding out. I didn't find out with my first, and I had myself convinced he was a girl. When he was born, I had the worst postpartum depression and gender disappointment. It was much better when I had time to deal with the prospect of another boy while still pregnant, rather during the stressful and emotional time after giving birth.

[Longingforgirl]

Hi,

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to cope with this, I am in the very same position. I just still have a few more week of going crazy ahead of me, lol.

I just wanted to say I am crossing my fingers for you that you will hear girl this time. I so know what you mean, and I have no idea how I am going to handle it if the tech says "boy" again. I feel like I cannot go through all the baby phase again "just" for another boy. Sounds harsh, but I just can't help it.

Wishing you lots of luck for your app!! I will let the tech write the gender in an envelope so I won't have to react on it right then and there in front of him. I think I would definately break down and cry immediately. It was so hard with DS2. When she said "boy" I didn't want to go through with the rest of the scan. I had tears in my eyes and I was so disappointed and sad and so occupied holding back my tears in front of her. And this time it is going to be even worse because the desire to have a daughter has nothing but grown.

Wishing you all the best...!

[Mommabee]

Jennasue: thank you for all your kind words! I hope you hear girl too. I don't want another child, girl or not. That will be the hardest part, knowing for a fact, that I'll never have a daughter if this baby isn't one. I will either get a tubal or Norplant (or whatever the brand name is now).

Longing: I was thinking of doing something similar. I'm going to ask the tech to let me watch the ultrasound, but not have the tech reveal the gender until I ask. I am pretty sure a boy will be clear to me. Then I can either ask her to write it down (if I think boy) and to just tell me if I suspect girl. Idk, that might go out the window... Lol. I hope you hear girl too. Thanks for replying It's nice to know I'm not alone.

[Thorz300]

I wish I had the magic potion to take the GD away from all of us! I worked really hard at trying to be ok with another boy and I even "think" I am finally at a place where I can say I will be fine with 4 boys, but I worry that it might be easier said than done, I may not be as ready as I think I am to have a 4th boy. I too wonder if I should just wait to find out the gender. If you do decide to wait, I would just look away during the scan. With my last baby, I wanted to wait, but as soon as the tech put the wand on my belly, I saw his boy parts staring right at me!!! LOL so I really didn't even get the choice to wait, I didn't mean to find out!!
I'm so sorry for your pain, there are not a lot of people in our lives who truly understand what we go through with GD

[jennaesue]

Jennasue: thank you for all your kind words! I hope you hear girl too. I don't want another child, girl or not. That will be the hardest part, knowing for a fact, that I'll never have a daughter if this baby isn't one. I will either get a tubal or Norplant (or whatever the brand name is now).

Longing: I was thinking of doing something similar. I'm going to ask the tech to let me watch the ultrasound, but not have the tech reveal the gender until I ask. I am pretty sure a boy will be clear to me. Then I can either ask her to write it down (if I think boy) and to just tell me if I suspect girl. Idk, that might go out the window... Lol. I hope you hear girl too. Thanks for replying It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Thanks! I am really thinking it's a fourth boy for me at this point. We'll see in about 4 weeks!

I think I am going to ask the tech to show me the gender bits and let me look for myself. I would rather just see boy parts than to have to hear "it's a boy." If I think it is a boy, I'll say "it's a boy, right?" and then have her confirm or deny, lol. I don't know why, but I feel better about figuring it out for myself and not having her make some grand announcement.

[Mommyof3boys]

Momma bee you should definetly jump in on the roll call thread everyone would love to have you. I Completely understand how you are feeling. I wanted a dd so bad during my last pregnancy that I couldn't stand it. I opted not to find out because I knew that emotionally I would not be able to handle knowing my baby was a boy for 20 weeks before I got to see him. I miscarried during my first pregnancy and have always felt like it has affected my bonding with the baby during the pregnancy and I knew that I would be extremely upset because we were only going to have 3. When he was born I initially was upset and cried for a few minutes and didn't want to even hold him. After the initial saddness I was fine though and completely in love with him. I even got to a point where I thought that I would be fine and happy only having 3 boys and not until recently even considered a fourth. Because of our ages we decided to try one more time because I didn't want to wait another 5 or6 years and then regret not trying. I personally am trying to just convince myself that this baby is a boy and think of it as our fourth boy so I will not be upset. I am definetly not going to find out the gender this time either for many of the same reasons as before.

I have also had both my mom and sister try to get me to let them go and find out the gender. I told them they are crazy and that none of us will be finding out. I may not even tell them when I go so I won't have to hear them beforehand.

[EmmyRoo]

Hi mommabee, no answers here either I'm afraid but I just wanted to say you are not alone and I understand exactly how you feel. This is our last baby, after DS2 my DH said no more and I was devastated - he chose the night my sister gave birth to her daughter and (unknowingly) gave her 'my' girls name which didn't help! Trying to come to terms with never having a daughter was impossible and I fell to pieces every time someone I knew had a girl (which felt like every week! Lol!). Eventually DH couldn't bear seeing me so upset and said we could have one more shot, so we swayed and here we are crossing everything that it was somehow meant to be after thinking we'd never have 3 so this must be a girl. I just can't see it though.

We've booked a private gender scan for 16 weeks and no-one will be told we're finding out. My parents are babysitting the boys so they know we're going for 3d pictures, but that's all they know. If they ask the baby was in the wrong position. I strongly feel that DH+I need time to get to grips with another boy before being bombarded with questions and comments from everyone we know.

I just know this will be a boy, I believe swaying works but I don't think it has for me, I didn't lower testosterone enough and frankly, I can't see myself being lucky enough to be blessed, not only with a third healthy baby, but also my DG. The thought of the scan sends my heart rate sky high though, I am dreading that moment so much I'm almost forgetting to worry about it being healthy! It's a horrible thing GD, I wish none of us had to go through it. I really hope you hear girl on Friday, but if not, you're not alone.
X

[Jadis]

Oh ladies, I connect so much with each of your comments. Mommabee, I'm right there with you. I've got 2 boys and am aching for a daughter. My gender scan is TOMORROW and my stomach has been in a knot all day. I'm not sure I'll get much sleep tonight because tomorrow feels like doomsday for me. Once I know that this is a boy, I can't unknow it. Having my last shred of hope dashed will hurt so bad. This is our last baby and our last shot for the daughter I feel I need to fill this gap in my heart. My DH doesn't get it, he's just excited to find out and he's not fussed whether it's a boy or girl. Of course, he says he'd like a girl for my benefit but he doesn't relate to the ache I feel.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be asking the tech to write the gender in an envelope and include a potty shot for me to take in with my own eyes. I just know that I will fall to pieces if it's a boy and I'd like to do that in the privacy of my own home, not a clinic. I know that waiting until the birth won't change the outcome and I think it's better for me to have the time to process the news before he's in my arms. Still, I'm terrified. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, Mommabee, but I totally get it.