September Chit chat!!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

Hugs again Begonia. I know that it is still settling in- we all know how you feel.

[DoulaMama]

Just did a quick search in my town and i can get a no-frills, 2D, 5-10min u/s for $90 2D is what normal u/s's usually are right? They can tell the sex, right? At least I won't break the bank if I do decide to do this.

Another thing about finding out that I just thought about- my 5.5yo son is so certain this little one is a girl....(but he felt that way about DS3 as well) that I want to really talk him down, kinda like what you'll be doing with DH, B. He knows this is the last baby and he knows that we would all love a boy or a girl, but I'm afraid he'll be so down when he finds out he doesn't get a sister. Ugh...decisions.

[Mochagirl]

DM - how do you find a private ultrasound place? I know it's a while until I could get a gender scan, but I did some searches, and all I came up with was one place in Toronto and one in Mississauga. There MUST be one closer to me, right?

[zanacal]

DM - my boys were convinced DS3 would be a girl too and I kind of started to go along with it as if they had some kind of 6th sense. When my mum told DS2 he had a new baby brother he refused to believe it and was adament he had a new baby sister! You know, I never even considered that we wouldn't have a girl or that we should do something to try to get one before this pregnancy - I just thought it would happen. I don't know why it didn't occur to me!

Begonia - more {hugs}. I get upset about the things I think DH will miss out on if he doesn't have a daughter but I'm not at all sure that he feels even half as disappointed as I do. Is there any chance that the things you're feeling sad about for your DH aren't as important to him? Your girls sound wonderful and perhaps he doesn't feel the 'gap' of not having a son that you imagine - I have no idea of course but I hate to think of you feeling so badly for him if he's happy with his lot. Isn't it a strange life, some of us so desperate for a girl and having a string of boys and some of you wanting a boy and having a string of girls. We really aren't in control and I'm sure we all have the babies that are meant for us. This little girl is going to bring you so much love and happiness

[begonia]

Oh B, I wish I was close and could give you a great big hug. xoxoxo

I'm crying over here....It's made me rethink this whole finding out thing. And it's not because I feel bad or sorry for you(I'm sad that you are sad....iykwim), it's knowing that it's the same thing for me- I won't have 5....and like you said....there's some things that I'll never get to do. My hubby won't get to walk our daughter down the aisle, no girly shopping trips, no wedding dress, and it's not the same when your son has a child in comparison to a daughter(and you all know how into birth I am!), no sewing girly dresses, the list goes on. I know that as much as I tell myself I won't be too upset....I know I'm going to be crushed for awhile, be it at the birth or before. OMG I'm sorry to make this about me.....what a cow I am. Anyway, I wanted to say, I feel for you. I don't know exactly what's going through your mind right now but I know all about the hope and the disappointment. Much love to you, Hun. xoxo

No, no, no ... it helps, it really does, to have other people totally get it. So I love how you made it about you, and I really, really hope you do get your DD... and that everyone can get their DG really.

I was definitely more disappointed over DD2 than I am over this one, and honestly I am SURE DH will be fine. He's wonderful with our ladies. In fact when I asked him if he was disappointed when we found out our second was also a girl, his comment was "Now I have to give TWO of them away?!?"

As for the finding out/not finding out I was pretty torn up with the not knowing. I really am glad to be out of that misery. I just went for a nice long walk and while I couldn't think of a girl name, LOL, I did spend most of it being grateful for all that I have and not thinking about what I don't. One of my best friends lost her 4th child, a 4 year old boy, earlier this year and for me to spend more than an hour grieving a son I never even had is more self-indulgent than I can be at this point in my life. I'm not judging anyone for their GD, it is a very real and honest and HARD thing to deal with... I just really am not even going to allow myself to wallow in something that really isn't THAT big of a deal. I wanted three children, I am going to have three children, and I'm going to focus on how fantastically lucky I am from here on out with this pregnancy. It's just a shame I can't go buy some fab outfits right now

So anyhow ... only you know how you'll handle the news. I'm happy to say that I was right in thinking I'd be glad to know. Give yourself time to think through it and sort it out and I bet you'll know the right answer for yourself!

[begonia]

DM - my boys were convinced DS3 would be a girl too and I kind of started to go along with it as if they had some kind of 6th sense. When my mum told DS2 he had a new baby brother he refused to believe it and was adament he had a new baby sister! You know, I never even considered that we wouldn't have a girl or that we should do something to try to get one before this pregnancy - I just thought it would happen. I don't know why it didn't occur to me! This was totally me Zan! TOTALLY! Dh and I both come from pigeon pairs and I just always figured we would have one of each too. Oh well

Begonia - more {hugs}. I get upset about the things I think DH will miss out on if he doesn't have a daughter but I'm not at all sure that he feels even half as disappointed as I do. Is there any chance that the things you're feeling sad about for your DH aren't as important to him? Your girls sound wonderful and perhaps he doesn't feel the 'gap' of not having a son that you imagine - I have no idea of course but I hate to think of you feeling so badly for him if he's happy with his lot. Isn't it a strange life, some of us so desperate for a girl and having a string of boys and some of you wanting a boy and having a string of girls. We really aren't in control and I'm sure we all have the babies that are meant for us. This little girl is going to bring you so much love and happiness

Zan, I do think I am magnifying what DH will feel, I absolutely do. When I was out on a walk now I was thinking about how I wish it was ME missing out on having a daughter (which, actually ... I only ever wanted boys, funny how that works! Wouldn't change a thing obviously!!) because it is easier to handle your own disappointment than to see someone you love disappointed. At least for me it is. I think he'll be fine. Our oldest DD couldn't be more of a tomboy ... they are going camping together in 2 weeks, she loves to golf with him, etc. And DD2 is pining away for a pet snake ... LOL. There isn't a Disney Princess (movie or toy) in our home yet! But maybe girl #3 is going to be our little princess, who knows?!? It will be fun to see who she is though. I can't wait

Thank you the hug Spicy! FX for you!

And thank you everyone for being so great about it; I'm glad I have a place to work through it all with people who really get it

[DoulaMama]

DM - how do you find a private ultrasound place? I know it's a while until I could get a gender scan, but I did some searches, and all I came up with was one place in Toronto and one in Mississauga. There MUST be one closer to me, right?

There's one in Rockwood...about an hour away...still too far? I'll keep looking for you

http://www.babybonus3dultrasound.com/services/
At the bottom of that linked page there's a $100 gender only u/s

[zanacal]

I think you make a great point Begonia, that we can get different things from our relationships with each of our children no matter what the sex. I'm going to take a leaf out of your book and focus not on whether my children are boys or girls but on the fabulous qualities they have individually and together. That's so very sad about your friend's son, perspective is easy to come by when you see others experience such tragedy.

[DoulaMama]

No, no, no ... it helps, it really does, to have other people totally get it. So I love how you made it about you, and I really, really hope you do get your DD... and that everyone can get their DG really.

Thank you B. ((HUGS))

As for the finding out/not finding out I was pretty torn up with the not knowing. I really am glad to be out of that misery. I just went for a nice long walk and while I couldn't think of a girl name, LOL, I did spend most of it being grateful for all that I have and not thinking about what I don't. One of my best friends lost her 4th child, a 4 year old boy, earlier this year and for me to spend more than an hour grieving a son I never even had is more self-indulgent than I can be at this point in my life. I'm not judging anyone for their GD, it is a very real and honest and HARD thing to deal with... I just really am not even going to allow myself to wallow in something that really isn't THAT big of a deal. I wanted three children, I am going to have three children, and I'm going to focus on how fantastically lucky I am from here on out with this pregnancy. It's just a shame I can't go buy some fab outfits right now

So anyhow ... only you know how you'll handle the news. I'm happy to say that I was right in thinking I'd be glad to know. Give yourself time to think through it and sort it out and I bet you'll know the right answer for yourself!

Thank you again I am so sorry to hear about your BF's little boy. OMG I cannot even begin to think about the possibility that I will outlive any of my children

After reading the bolded portion of your post, it really gave me something to think about. Thank you I will not love my child any less, we will all be thankful that we have that little person in our lives no matter what we have, I will feel the disappointment for awhile, no doubt, but it will go away and I know I'm going to stop focusing on the "what-if"(what if I have one more) after this baby is here as we will not have anymore kids. I almost think there will be some closure for me. For 4 years now I have hoped for a daughter...4 years of thinking, obsessing, trying for another, trying to convince my hubby for another....I will be so happy to not have to think about that anymore. I can focus on enjoying what I have it's sad to think that GD can do this to a person.... I'm going to find out and put this stress and obsessing to rest. I'll let you guys know, when I find out but no one else will know. I'm really good at keeping secrets Thank you for taking the time to write that out, B I needed to read that. xoxoxo

Z- I never thought I'd be in a place like this on the net.....pining away for a daughter. I was raised mainly by my mom, with a sister....had lots of girlfriends....I stupidly assumed I would have a couple girls. And, like B said above.....I would feel bad right now if I had 3 girls and I was hoping that DH could have a son. Ugh. GD is such a mess.

[Mochagirl]

[QUOTE=DoulaMama;81527]There's one in Rockwood...about an hour away...still too far? I'll keep looking for you

I don't even know where Rockwood is! I was hoping to find a local one so I could do it without telling dh. I don't think he'd ever approve of me spending money on something I can get for free.

Do you do Google searches for 'private ultrasound' to find them?