October Chit Chat!

[DoulaMama]

I had my appointment today and we couldn't find a constant heartbeat. She thought she heard baby moving and we heard a couple beats a couple times but not enough to register. I'm 11 wks, 4 days. She said she sometimes can't get the heartbeat this early. I'm having an u/s monday to find out for sure what is happening.

Glad to hear you are all doing well. Gg I'm going to check out your potty shots now!

If baby is low in the pelvis or you have a tilted uterus it's very hard to find the heartbeat this early. Plus, babies don't like dopplers It's basically like a train being driven by them at top speed...they are very loud(even though we think they can't hear until 20+ weeks they can still feel it in their body) and uncomfortable for them. Many times they will try to get away from the doppler if they can. It's the same with u/s. A baby will often try to cover it's ears when they are past 20 weeks as it's overwhelming for them. A have some links and info if you need it I wouldn't worry too much about babe! I'm sure he/she is fine!! If you could hear movement while the doppler was on you, then I'm sure there is a squiggly little baby in there!! xoxo

[Mochagirl]

Wow, DM - start driving now, because I want you here for the birth! Although I have 3 kids, I've only delivered vaginally once, so I still consider myself a novice. I'm not sure how long I was pushing - maybe a couple of hours? Long enough that the midwife said he wasn't coming out without an episiotomy. I pushed for a while after the episiotomy, then without wanring, on my last push, that's when she plunged her hands in, turned him and yanked him out. I was on my back, honestly - though my midwife is very lovely (despite a bit of ignorance, perhaps), and I'm sure if I had asked she'd have let me use a different position.

I had a horrible urge to push from the moment I entered full-on labour. I found the pain of trying not to push worse than the pain of the contraction itself. Maybe that's normal - how would I know - it was my first time labouring without an epidural. With my twins they pretty much forced an epidural on me the moment I entered the hospital, right after (very painfully) breaking my water. I hadn't even started labour yet. By the time they decided I needed a c-section, 27 hours later, the epidural was wearing off and they had to keep cranking it up to try to keep me numb. As I lay on the operating table with them about to cut into me, they told me that the epidural could wear off in the middle of the surgery and they'd have to knock me out quickly. Lovely. See why I wanted a VBAC with a midwife my second time around?

[DoulaMama]

Wow, DM - start driving now, because I want you here for the birth! Although I have 3 kids, I've only delivered vaginally once, so I still consider myself a novice. I'm not sure how long I was pushing - maybe a couple of hours? Long enough that the midwife said he wasn't coming out without an episiotomy.
Was he crowning? I could see the need for an episiotomy if he had been fighting against a very tight perineal area but if he wasn't crowing yet....that doesn't sound right, to be honest. Did she even mention that you should maybe work with gravity? I'm surprised that she wouldn't want you to move, or sit on the toilet etc. Were his heart tones ok throughout?
I pushed for a while after the episiotomy, then without wanring, on my last push, that's when she plunged her hands in, turned him and yanked him out. I was on my back, honestly - though my midwife is very lovely (despite a bit of ignorance, perhaps), and I'm sure if I had asked she'd have let me use a different position.

I had a horrible urge to push from the moment I entered full-on labour. I found the pain of trying not to push worse than the pain of the contraction itself. Maybe that's normal - how would I know - it was my first time labouring without an epidural. With my twins they pretty much forced an epidural on me the moment I entered the hospital, right after (very painfully) breaking my water. I hadn't even started labour yet. By the time they decided I needed a c-section, 27 hours later, the epidural was wearing off and they had to keep cranking it up to try to keep me numb. As I lay on the operating table with them about to cut into me, they told me that the epidural could wear off in the middle of the surgery and they'd have to knock me out quickly. Lovely. See why I wanted a VBAC with a midwife my second time around?

Oh Mocha~I would seriously come out there! Although if your MW starts plunging into anything I may have a few choice words for her! I'd even bring my fancy birth pool!!!
I'm just so saddened to hear that some midwives just DO things without telling a woman or letting her know that it might hurt etc. You should have been supported in a position that allowed you to push more effectively first of all.
About the urge....when a first time(vaginal) mom has an OP baby she often feels the urge sooner than 10cm. Sometimes a woman can push with these urges and it will help...other times it will cause some swelling but only when you hold your breath and really bear down instead of "grunt" pushing. Your body might have been trying to work with the cx's to get him turned or realized that it would take a bit more time to get him down because of the OP positioning. It will be 100% different this time. Your cervix will dilate differently, you'll have a MUCH faster pushing stage with much less effort. I can bet on it!
I'm sorry about what they did to you with the twins They were basically setting you up for a c-section without you even realizing it. They feel the need to epi all the twin moms because of a possible c-section but in the end they create the need for the section. Are you free to labour in water with a midwife in Ontario? Do they "allow" that with VBAC mom's? That's one thing I recommend for all women is labouring in water...even if you don't have a waterbirth, it is amazing for pain relief Just in case you have another OP baby

I have a very lovely midwife that I used for 2 pregnancies(didn't call her for the birth of #3 though)and she is such a sweet woman! The thing I have a problem with is the lack of current, up to date practices. She is still doing things that shouldn't be done. It's just like many old Dr's...once they feel something should be done...they'll keep doing it that way until they retire. It's frustrating.

[zanacal]

I love your attitude DM and you back-up everything I also feel. I do feel we're lucky in the UK to be cared for by midwives (not doctors) where there are no issues and that we don't for the most part have what seem to be the far more medicalised hospital births in other countries - no lying on your back in hospital gowns being told when to push and to the count of 10! I enjoyed my homebirth (I used a pool to labour in!) but I will never have another one because of the issues DS2 had (whether they had been preventable with different actions from the midwife or not), mainly because DH is absolutely not comfortable with that and I'm not prepared to put him through the fear of another homebirth - so I have to take the best I can from a hospital birth. I'll be at a new hospital this time because we've moved house so I don't know what they'll be like - but if it's similar to the last one there'll be a birthing ball, CD player etc and we'll be free to set up the room to our liking and probably left to our own devices for the most part (unless we manage to get a pool room which is what I'm hoping for). I also have a leaflet which says the midwives are able to provide aromatherapy which sounds rather pleasant! My birth plan basically states no drugs except gas and air and as little intervention and as active a birth as possible. My urge to push has always come early with my OP babies and I've just gone with it - first birth aside (when I had the epidural) I've never been told when to push and have been left to do what my body feels (besdies not being given the help to turn off my back late on with DS3 but I lucked out with my midwife who was way too old school). I love hearing your advice though and you're going to be so helpful to me down the line - I'll try and labour at home for as long as possible before I go to the hospital so perhaps I should have you up on Skype or something

Also, interested, I just read on another thread that you get a 'feeling' about gender with some ladies. Tell it to me straight Do you feel anything for me?!

[Mochagirl]

Yes, he was crowning...I think. I don't know really. Honestly, I was in so much pain I was willing to do anything at that point.

As I said, I do like my midwife a lot...though I will admit she is young and perhaps inexperienced. I did feel in control of my birth experience - I really feel she would have supported me doing anything I wanted...I just didn't know what to ask for. I did labour in the tub for a while and didn't like it at all. I spent much of my time swaying on my feet or propped up on my hands and knees, and it was only when I was pushing that I lay on my back. For all I know I was even the one to suggest it - I wasn't really in my right mind by then and DH was already fainting from the blood that was gushing out every contraction .

In other news, I'm still quite sick. This sickness has settled into my lungs and now I've completely lost my voice and I'm hacking up a lung every few minutes. This morning I noticed a brownish stain on my underwear - no spotting when I wipe, though I do have TONS of yellowish CM. Is this anything to worry about?

[ELP]

Mocha, if your coughing alot then I would guess that the brownish cm is just old stuff literally being forced out of your body with the coughs Nothing to worry about and may not have even showed up without the cough!

DM, keep the rants coming!! I'm sure so many of us will go into the L&D rooms when time comes feeling alot more confident with what we're doing I'm hoping to be able to post on here from the delivery room for company as I go in alone and last time texting the family really comforted me, hope your online around mid-March

[Inglewood]

Hi all, not been on for a few day, was nightshift and what a rotten 2 nights they were, sick with thumping headaches! Just catching up now with ur posts.

Tweedle, Hope ur keeping ok over the wkend and ur scan goes well. x

Thanks Doula, hope ur right and it's 2 wee girlies in there! Have a scan in 10 days, but since I will only be 15w5d, doubt they will take a guess for me. Have booked a 4d scan, but that's not till after xmas at 25wks pg. Not too long for u to wait to find out? Sure you have ur girl in there, all those nub guesses will be spot on! x

Mocha, sorry ur poorly, hate this time of yr, so many 'bugs' about! I have my flu jag on the 14th!! Not sure about ur staining, I had a wee bit of brown d/c at 7/8wks, but everything was fine. Had an early scan. Try not worry, but if it gets worse contact ur midwife. Hope ur backach better? x

I had terrible cramping early on, so bad, that's why I had my early U/S. Esp from right side, when I had ds2 they told me it was the corpus luteum cyst, but this time they couldn't explain it. Just 'stretching' and baby trying to 'get comfy' in there....they told me...lol

Z, that must of been so uncomfortable! I've had bladder probs for yrs, have to lean forward to pee sometimes!!!! It's awful, hope it settles soon.

GG, sorry, not good at nub guesses, but what a fab video! x

[Inglewood]

Well I don't know how that happened - I just booked myself a gender scan, eek! It'll be on 17th December when I'm 17+2, exactly a month after the scan we're having in a couple of weeks time. I can cancel up to 48 hours beforehand but I'm sure that won't happen now I've actually booked it. I so hope I'm doing the right thing - I feel like I have 6 weeks to get ready for what is bound to be the 'blue' news!

Fab!!! not that long to wait, 6wks will fly by..... Fx you hear pink news!! When is ur 1st U/S appt? x

[DoulaMama]

I love your attitude DM and you back-up everything I also feel. I do feel we're lucky in the UK to be cared for by midwives (not doctors) where there are no issues and that we don't for the most part have what seem to be the far more medicalised hospital births in other countries - no lying on your back in hospital gowns being told when to push and to the count of 10! I enjoyed my homebirth (I used a pool to labour in!) but I will never have another one because of the issues DS2 had (whether they had been preventable with different actions from the midwife or not), mainly because DH is absolutely not comfortable with that and I'm not prepared to put him through the fear of another homebirth - so I have to take the best I can from a hospital birth. I'll be at a new hospital this time because we've moved house so I don't know what they'll be like - but if it's similar to the last one there'll be a birthing ball, CD player etc and we'll be free to set up the room to our liking and probably left to our own devices for the most part (unless we manage to get a pool room which is what I'm hoping for). I also have a leaflet which says the midwives are able to provide aromatherapy which sounds rather pleasant! My birth plan basically states no drugs except gas and air and as little intervention and as active a birth as possible. My urge to push has always come early with my OP babies and I've just gone with it - first birth aside (when I had the epidural) I've never been told when to push and have been left to do what my body feels (besdies not being given the help to turn off my back late on with DS3 but I lucked out with my midwife who was way too old school). I love hearing your advice though and you're going to be so helpful to me down the line - I'll try and labour at home for as long as possible before I go to the hospital so perhaps I should have you up on Skype or something

Also, interested, I just read on another thread that you get a 'feeling' about gender with some ladies. Tell it to me straight Do you feel anything for me?!

Your hospital seriously sounds lovely, Z To be left alone and not told how/where/when to do things! Wow! That rarely happens here in my city. Your plan sounds great! Laboring at home for as long as possible is such a great idea You're pretty close to the hospital? Oh, and I 100% feel that although homebirth is a fantatic option for many women, it's not for all. We all have to feel good about where we give birth. It would be a different story if you were desperate for another HB and your hubby said no. It should be up to Mama to decide where she should birth the baby. Women want the best for their babies and should be trusted with those decisions Just my 2cents! It sounds like you have a detailed plan and good idea about what you want, which is great! It'll be fabulous!! Oh and I would absolutely, without a doubt, skype, text, talk to you on the phone when the big day arrives!!.... I would love to help out if help or ideas are needed xoxo

[DoulaMama]

Yes, he was crowning...I think. I don't know really. Honestly, I was in so much pain I was willing to do anything at that point.

As I said, I do like my midwife a lot...though I will admit she is young and perhaps inexperienced. I did feel in control of my birth experience - I really feel she would have supported me doing anything I wanted...I just didn't know what to ask for. I did labour in the tub for a while and didn't like it at all. I spent much of my time swaying on my feet or propped up on my hands and knees, and it was only when I was pushing that I lay on my back. For all I know I was even the one to suggest it - I wasn't really in my right mind by then and DH was already fainting from the blood that was gushing out every contraction .

In other news, I'm still quite sick. This sickness has settled into my lungs and now I've completely lost my voice and I'm hacking up a lung every few minutes. This morning I noticed a brownish stain on my underwear - no spotting when I wipe, though I do have TONS of yellowish CM. Is this anything to worry about?

I'm so sorry that you feel so crummy The coughing can totally produce some spotting. It irritates the uterus and cervix but it should have no impact on baby I wouldn't worry about the cm at all I have tons of cm daily. There are some days it feels like I'm losing my plug! It's crazy! Anyway, coughing, having bm's,etc all push the cm out of you so tend to see more of it.

About your birth- if you were crowning that makes much more sense I think maybe sitting with your mw and asking her about what happened at the end of your birth, would be a great idea maybe his head was tilted and she straightened him out which is why she needed to do the epi at the end. I've also had a few clients who HATE the water. It's not very grounding for them and they just can't stand it. I hope I didn't come across like your mw is an awful person!!! Sincerely didn't mean to make it sound like that!! Most Dr's and MW's want to help They go to school with the intention that they will save lives and be an important part of the birth. The thing is with many of them, they feel the need to DO something when for the most part they could knit or read a book in the corner if the room!! But, after all that schooling, they feel that women need to helped, saved, etc. Not to say your mw is like this! Its just that from experience MANY are. I just had a birth where the woman chose to push on her back for the majority of the birth. She felt comfortable and it worked fine up until crowning. She then squatted with some help and it really worked for those last few pushes a change in position can do wonders sometimes(oh and without an epi this time, the blood won't be gushing out and your hubby should be fine!!! ) All this to say that I think any woman that goes against the grain and seeks a VBAC is a courageous woman Not because it's a scary thing to attempt and do! But because there is very little support for VBACing women and many hurdles to overcome emotionally. You are an inspiration to thousands of women wanting the same thing.