Thread: Bad Gender anxiety!
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September 16th, 2013, 03:15 PM #11
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September 16th, 2013, 05:40 PM #12Dream Vet
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Well, we are all on this website for the same reason. Its still early days for you, and even if you hear boy I don't think its bad to prepare yourself for the chance it might not be a boy, it might even help you cope if it IS a girl. As for your husband, I highly doubt he will feel bitter towards you if its a girl - Any one of us know that all we can do is up our chances of conceiving our DG and I'm sure your husband knows this too!
I do get the gut feeling though - I have a feeling this ones a girl, on every scan I've thought "its a girl" - I've never been wrong yet, but every time I stop myself and think "no its a boy" (I got two boys already). This is defo our last one, my body can't cope with another pregnancy and I will be sterilised at the same time as baby is delivered (c-section).
I think what you got to try to remember is that hormones play SUCH a massive role at this early stage and it does slightly change how you react and think about things.
I won't lie. When I was expecting DS2 I knew in my gut it was a boy. At the scan I even saw the 'crown jewels' and my heart just sank. I was up and down on a roller coaster all pregnancy and kept saying "the scan might have been wrong and out will come a girl". He of course came out a boy, as I knew he would. I was absolutely high as a kite on entonox so I didn't recognise him as my child at first, but once it wore off and I sat with him, just looking at him - I actually felt ashamed at having 'not wanted him'. The same warmth and love swept over me, as it had the first time, and from that moment on I have never felt a moments sadness of having a second boy.
My OH didn't want anymore kids, so I settled into being a mum of two boys and I've grown to love it. I firmly believe that if you want to, you can make every disappointment into a positive and I actually laugh at myself now thinking about how I reacted to DS2. This is what I hold on to when the gender fear creeps in on me - the fact that DS2 is my absolute pride and joy despite me being disappointed to begin with and if we have a third son, he will be as precious and loved and wished for and wanted as his brothers!2005 2008 2010 2014 2015
Hoping for another baby girl in 2016/17
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September 16th, 2013, 06:33 PM #13
I know EXACTLY how you feel. We all do. I am having such a hard time this time around. I keep having dreams that it's a boy but I keep telling myself not to get my hopes cause if I was far enough along right now to be told gender and a tech said boy I still don't think I would believe it. Even if I saw it for myself. Now my anxiety about it is even worse than before because my husband's cousin on his side of the family is due April 6th and I am due April 25th. I am now so scared that she will have a boy and I will have a girl. The worst part is everyone is basically looking to me and my husband to have a boy because unless DH and I have to have a boy or his brother had to have a boy or the last name of the family dies out after 100's of years. That's not the reason why I want to have a boy but that is the rest of my husband's families feelings. Right now gender is all I think about. Non-stop. I knoe I will love this baby if it's a girl. That's not my problem. The issue I am having is the scary reality that I might never have a boy. This is our last baby. If this baby is a girl I am going to dread Christmas. Especially if his cousin finds out she's having a boy. I might even try to find some way of staying home instead of going. I just feel like I'm going to lose it. You are not alone.
Aug 2009
March 2012
Due April 19th, 2014!!!
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September 18th, 2013, 11:44 PM #14
Good luck...sending you blue dust!
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September 19th, 2013, 12:19 AM #15
Best, best wishes for your boy!! Your feelings are completely normal (I know from the opposite side!) and there's no doubt that your DH will equally adore whatever child arrives and certainly won't resent you for that regardless....sorry this is so stressful!! I'm sending you lots of my boy dust. I so long for a girl; I understand you saying it's a needed piece of your life!
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