October 2013 babies!

[Nachelle]

OOOOOOHHHHH I HOPE SOOO!!!! he he I am 12 weeks! THINK PINK!!!

[*ruby*]

I'm back from my scan and baby looks great. I've posted a nub pic if anyone would like to guess.

[Pangea]

Nachelle that looks like a very girly nub! Ruby I can't see a nub on your pic but don't see anything boyish either. Keeping fingers crossed for a girl!

I kinda wish I had a nub pic now to guess on, but at the same time glad I don't as i'm fairly sure I would see a boy nub.

So far I think all the old wives tales are pointing towards this being another boy. I'm craving spicy and salty food, and coffee, which I don't normally like. I'm letting myself have one weak cup a day.
I have an aversion to chocolate, and any time I try to drink orange juice it comes back up.
Baby's heart rate was slow at 9 week scan and baby is measuring big for dates which I think is more common with boys.

Morning sickness seems to be mostly gone, which is a miracle as I normally have it until around 20 weeks. This is the first time it has gone at the normal time.
I'm very weak and dizzy though, obs prescribed iron supplements so I'm taking those now and hoping they start to work soon.

[xokatietatie]

After speaking with a dear friend of mine, I've decided I need to reach out to someone about the depression I am developing. Not sure if it should be my doctor or just some kind of professional. It's been getting worse for a while now, but has become especially bad since my ultrasound the other day. I had gender disappointment with DS3 during the entire second half of my pregnancy, but it doesn't even compare to what I'm going through now. I've wanted this for so long, and yet now I feel no attachment. I can't even explain how awful I feel on a daily basis. I literally cry constantly. I pray constantly and beg God for my daughter. When I'm not crying I just kind of feel numb. DH says I often have a vacant look on my face. The weather is nice so I'm able to temporarily get past it while I'm playing with my kids, but the sadness is never gone for long. I can't handle seeing little girls. I love this little girl with my whole heart even though she'll probably never exist. And when I think about this baby being a boy, I can't help but think of how much I do not want him. I love my boys so much. They're everything to me. I just don't want another boy. I feel such desperation for a daughter. My friend told me she feels like I am grieving. And then on top of all this, I hate myself to feeling the way I feel. I wrestle with myself constantly. I've never felt like this before in my life. I've always been a happy person. I'm just lost right now. I feel alone. I hope you all won't judge me. I just needed to pour it all out.

[ELP]

Oh Katie I feel so sad for you I don't know what to advise? Would knowing who your carrying help you to bond maybe? Can you book a scan for soon to see if that big blobs still there? I know without a doubt that if it is a little boy, that when he gets here, he will hold the specialist place in your hearts, all of you xxx

[Lld2006]

Katie, I 100% understand, AND relate to you. I have been very depressed ever since I found out I was pregnant. No nub shot or anything even...I just feel I'm not lucky enough to be blessed with a daughter. My husband tells me I need to talk to someone, too...but I honestly don't think anything anyone can say can fix the hole in my heart. I wish I had encouraging words for you...but all I can say is I relate and will say a prayer for you (both of us) that we can overcome this gender disappointment.

[Lld2006]

Wanted to add...I had a dream last night that I gave birth to THE MOST GORGEOUS baby girl...she was perfect. I never had girl dreams when pregnant w my boys...and this is my second girl dream in the last week. It is making me even more hopeful...yet more sad. My 12 week appt is tomo but only for a Doppler check. Will need to beg for a nt ultrasound.

[Navywife620]

Oh Katie So sorry to hear you are going through this. I too have my days where I am feeling down. I do try to stay optimistic. I often pray to God that if this is another boy please let me take it well and be happy. We have prayed hard for a girl, but It is now in God's hands and I can't change this baby's gender. I am hoping I can get a good nub shot tomorrow.

[*ruby*]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this pregnancy. I think it's much more common than most people realise to have depression during pregnancy. I know I had it for sure with DS1 and it was horrible not being able to enjoy what should be such an amazing time in our lives. Definitely go and speak with someone if you can and don't just suffer through on your own, you sound like you have a very supportive DH and friend which is great. Thinking of you.

[xokatietatie]

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement ladies. I think I am going to call my doctor first thing on Monday. I've never experienced depression during or after pregnancy before. This is very difficult.

I just stumbled upon this thread ...

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/birt...irl-20wks.html

It renewed my hope a little.

I know that some days are going to be harder than others. I keep praying that the warm weather and my children's sports this spring will be a great distraction to me. I'm going to try my hardest not to obsess over this, though I know that's exactly what I'll want to do. That's just how I am.