Is it worth it?

[auroara78]

cravingsalt, that is how I felt too when I was preg with DS2...that if I could have a daughter third, I'd be totally OK that he was a boy!

And I must say that since finding out 3 is indeed a girl, I have looked at him with new light, and have begun to appreciate him more and more! He was/is a lot tougher than DS1 (in terms of colic, personality, stubborness, you name it!) but I am finally able to stop comparing him to DS1 (who's always been so lovely and easy) and love him for everything that makes him who he is.

[Waiting4Daisy]

I wish I had appreciated my two boys more. I was desperate for a third, hoping for a girl, that I got pregnant when my DS2 was 11 months old. I love my third son with all my heart but three doesn't feel like the right number for me so would love a fourth (boy or girl, not bothered now). Going from 2 to 3 felt very hard for me. My boys are all little, oldest just turned five, and I have a sometimes stressful job as a high school teacher and my health has been bad (low blood sugar under investigation). I am glad I had a third but wish I had waited a little longer to add him to the mix because of my health issues. I would like to have another 1 or 2 in a few years but I have many friends who stopped after 2 boys and are perfectly content. I hope you find the right decision :-) xxxx

[cravingsalt]

Thank you, Waiting. It certainly gives me something to thing about! Congratulations on your three, I always come back to a place of feeling blessed (and somewhat spoiled even), after being in the infertility camp with #1. I am sure that your spacing will pay off in the long run with very close (although sometimes bickering) brothers. There is a little ring to having "three musketeers."

[luvncamrin]

it's one of those things where you have to talk to people that get either result from a sway. In my case...I swayed boy for child #3....got what I wanted...and have been on a literal cloud 9 with him since ten weeks PG (whenI found out with a blood test) until a couple weeks ago when this current pregnancy totally blindsighted me! So YES 100000000% over it is so worth it, IMO! =) Once again I'm going through another potential SERIOUS GD session...and I don't even know what it is yet! I can tell you that if I don't get my DG....I will absolutely think this suprise...accident ..whatever will be one of the worse things to me! My hands are already full....do the only thing that makes this seem like there could be a possible silver lining is the chance of one last boy or DG.....If not...It's going to be a depressing nightmare....

[CherryBlossom]

Oh gosh. I could have written this post myself!!!
I was even thinking of writing a post just like this as soon as I got my laptop back!!
The more and more I'm thinking about swaying and reading, the closer it's getting to ttc the more scared in getting!!! Will I ever be ready to try. I think for me. Before ttc I really need to make sure I'll be happy with either sex!!! Let's hope I can or it may be years before we try.
I have my days. One day I would love another boy because, I know how to raise boys! I want winter cuddles! And another huggy boy! But then I have other days when my boys are being nothing but boys, burping farting just being feral, wrestling with their father and I think gosh. I just want a girl.
My mum and I didn't have the best relationship so I'd LOVE to have a great relationship with my daughter. Sort of doing it all over again?
Best of luck when you start =)
Our boys are similar ages!

[cravingsalt]

Congratulations! And fingers crossed for another boy for you, luvncamrin!! It's interesting, the different points of views from different moms. So you had a boy, then a girl, then were super excited to sway for another boy...can I ask for your perspective on why you were super psyched about another boy over a girl? (Then I can file it away in case I have GD later)... I'd love to hear it, because many people with pigeon pairs kind of give me a look of pity when I tell them I have two boys, as if having two boys was a booby prize...and of course, I LOVE my little men but can't help but feel like I'm missing out on girl-mom experience.

[cravingsalt]

CherryBlossom- haha! I totally agree, now that I'm mid-sway I've been petrified- of getting pregnant with an opposite, of not getting pregnant- we've just given ourselves 2 tries for mother nature to bring what may, then we're re-evaluating if not preggo by then. My honest opinion is that if I have DS3, the idea of a daughter will be a sore spot but one that will eventually fade- like an old heartbreak. All the good things in life take a little risk- and what's the risk here, another adorable little boy? (farts, rambunctiousness, and all!) Visit any TTC infertility board and it brings things back into perspective. That is, until a particularly adorable little set of ponytails or even a young-adult daughter strolling the mall with her mom, and there I go again, lol! What a rollercoaster. Hopefully once all is said and done and we're past the baby-making stage of our lives are over we'll laugh at ourselves for all this turmoil.

[luvncamrin]

For me... having boys FEELS right. I knew I kind of prefered a boy when I first got PG with DS1.....but after I found out he was a he.....it just felt right! I simply assumed during my second pregnancy that it was a boy...because that would be right. Nope....it was DD1...I was actually shocked that I was so upset about having a daughter...but it was just how I felt. I guess it stems from me having a bad relationship with my mom, my mom with hers....and so on back....OR... my horrible evil mother -in-law ...we had a bad relationship them....it's far worse (thankfully non existent now). Her relationship with her 2 daughters....horrible. It may just be who I am. I'm ok with me being female! But...i'm not girl...I hate fufu stuff...I hate pink...glitter..frilly socks...little yappy pocket dogs. It just doesn't feel like something I can relate to...
It's something very internal for me....hopefully this time around I'll end on a note that feels "right."

[cravingsalt]

Thank you for indulging my curiosity...so well put, you cracked me up!!! It actually all makes so much sense when you put it that way- for half a second I was like, "yeah! Why do I need a girl..." For a half second. It's funny, because I grew up a tomboy and never loved the super girly stuff- still don't. For me I think it may be how I see my brother and my mom versus me and my mom. My brother loves my mom but he has his own family to care for, whereas my mom is more integrated into my family and kids. Really I keep coming back to telling myself that it's personality that will matter, not gender, but gender is the earliest thing that gives us some idea of what we *think* they'll turn out like. I just feel like I'll have to give up my boys at some point, to let them go on to their own families. A little selfish I know. Anyway. Best luck to you, I'll keep an eye out for your posts! When are you due/when are you finding out gender? Good luck, I know you'll fall in love. Maybe you'll end up with a cool surfer chickadee who hates yappy dogs and glitter and be just like you. Or another fabulous boy.

[luvncamrin]

Due fed 20ish. I'm considering doing a blood test around the 24th of this month....so the results will be in 5-7days after that! We'll see!? I'm trying to calm myself about the thought of having another girl ...simply because I have a strong gut feeling that's what it is. Something happened this weekend that made me realize that maybe I could handle another girl. My boys love me ....or maybe yet, very needy of me. My daughter is much more independant with a tempermant that mimics a difficult tazmanian devil. . DH was being a Royal A-hole.....like big time...(he's stressed about his job...ect. ) excuses for him aside...he was beyond out of line( IMO)...I normally play it tough...but my hormone and situation I'm in got the best of me. I started crying. My little girl came over to me...rubbed my shoulder with her little hand and said "What's wrong Mommy? You crying? It going to be okayyyyy.....I love you mommy! No cry." The boys....could have cared less!LOL Maybe those are just how my boys are! =) Also, the reasons you listed are comforting..... I know that there's a higher likely hood that I'll be wanted in the delivery room for a DD than a DIL. In my case... I didn't let either in.....i'm not that close to my mother and my MIL is pure bonafide EVIL! She has managed to get cut off by almost all of her kids and daughter in laws. I know I have learned good life lessons on what NOT to do as a MIL....so I know giving good space and boundaries is critical. Hopefully my future DIL would want me around...but if not ....I would REALLY understand! Hopefully she'll have a great mother that she will want there. I would have killed to have a good Mom who actually deserved to be and was wanted in important life moments. I can and will hopefully earn that spot in my daughter (s) lives.