The big question...to find out gender or not??

[fresas]

I personally would find out. Yes, it is romantic and a wonderful surprise to find out at birth, but I personally would need time to process how to deal with GD before the baby is born if my sway didn't go as planned.

I struggle with postpartum depression so dealing with that plus gender disappointment could really make me a huge mess.

I'm also impatient so I want to know these types of things so I can plan accordingly for clothes and such.

[Yuzu]

Well, I found out on all my pregnancies--all four times. Each time I was disappointed. I guess the 3rd time was the worst. I thought I would never get past the sadness! It's not horrible this time, but I've decided to figure out the roots of my GD because if I ever do this again (LOL!) then I've decided to be Team Green. I would love to have a pregnancy where I didn't even think of gender.

Of course, since I'm 44 the chances of my having another baby are slim. My husband would undoubtedly pass out.

[BeadinMom]

Yuzu, you are awesome.

[Yuzu]

Oh, BeadinMom! Thank you so much! So are you!

[hotdogz&boyz]

Very interesting thread. I am on the fence on this one too. We are waiting to see if we get a BFP this month. And if we did...I will have to make up my mind on being Team Green. I am absolutely wanting a Team Green baby at some point, since I want that experience. And I had some GD with my last son, although it was short-lived. I don't want to have even a moments hesitation in the delivery room. But I love the idea of making the pregnancy even more exciting and having that guessing game all the way to the end. So, I guess I'll wait and see if we get a BFP and go with the flow. I am generally an impatient person, so it would be a personal challenge to not find out

[The Anchor]

Coocoo...are you from BC? Last I heard only BC wouldn't allow gender determination...

[NCBeachyGrl]

OK...So I think I have my plan! We are going to go team green!

BUT, to make me feel better, I am going to get an elective u/s done at 13 weeks (DH won't have a clue about nubs and they only do 8 week and 16-20 week scans at my dr.) and hopefully get a good nub pic. The place in town charges $125 and they give you a 10 minute DVD too so I am hopeful I can get some good guesses.

If I do get more boy guesses or see the willy, I can prepare on my own for the delivery and focus on getting to know my baby without worrying about telling anyone what the gender is. I can get used to it on my own terms! It will still make the delivery exciting for me and I would rather my friends on here tell me it is a boy than some u/s tech!

Now I just need to make it to my 8 week appt and then I can focus on making my elective scan!

[Yuzu]

Beachy, I see you're due April 17. That's my birthday, and I'm a GIRL...lol!

[fourunderfour]

hope it's not too late to add to this thread, but i've read all the posts and feel like there's one aspect maybe unspoken about.
i decided to find out with our children (4 boys - one adopted from Ethiopia so we knew he'd be male! - and while I was stunned that the u/s tech could tell me it was 2 boys at 12 weeks (I didn't actually know anything about nubs at that point) I took it for fact and went with it. i was disappointed for a few days but was able to visualize them and bond with them knowing they would be little boys.

but here's what's hardest on me (was a little bit then, but is very hard now) - is that everyone says
"oh, i just know this one is your little girl!" or things of that nature.
the pressure and weight of another persons expectations are SUPER HARD to deal with! it's like not only will you need to overcome your disappointment, but make the announcement and watch other people's faces fall. Oy.
i'd suggest finding out, but waiting to tell...at least until you've come to terms with it (as we did). but like others have said, everyone is very different.

i can't allow myself to fantasize for too long (even if i say "i will think this is a boy until i see it's a girl" - i know i'll still play the "what if" game and maybe raise my hopes up higher than they should be...) once i found out, i was able to become grounded. no more fantasizing or analyzing nubs or deciphering pregnancy symptoms...i called them by name and spoke of them as my sons.
GL to you!
I find out in 1 week what I'm having!!!

[coocoobananas]

Yep! But actually they do tell now, like right after I wrote this!!! They now give the result to your doctor and then the doctor tells us...wth!?!