The big question...to find out gender or not??

[NCBeachyGrl]

OK...I'm not even pregnant yet and I am already thinking about this every day! Should we find out gender or have a delivery room surprise?

In one sense, I want to know if I get pg with a girl so I can buy, buy, buy all the pink cutsie stuff I have only dreamed of. In the other sense, I worry that if it is another boy I will get sad. And, I worry more about what DH will say. I feel like I will need to hide my disappointment from him b/c he doesn't fully get it.

I really do love the idea of that excitement in the delivery room...I will love our baby so much and look forward to meeting them so much. If I don't know gender, I can really get to know the baby without worrying about stupid GD. BUT, if we decide to wait to find out, I will have to buy pink and blue and return one of the stacks of clothes/items. I don't know if I could make myself actually buy pink out of fear or disappointment.

Thoughts? Team green....tell me about your experiences!!!

[skrimpy]

I'm in the same boat right now, except being currently preggers and trying to decide before our big scan.

I know that for me I struggled with really bad GD last time that totally melted away when I held my baby girl in my arms. I keep wishing I just hadn't known and had enjoyed my pregnancy then felt that joy as soon as I met my baby. So now I am thinking I really want to stay Team Green. I'm having a great pregnancy and don't even want to really risk GD when I know I'll love my baby whomever he or she is.

Going out and buying lots of blue would be fab, but I don't think it would outweigh knowing the GD that would come from hearing "girl" instead of "boy." So right now I'm leaning Team Green and that's why, at least for me. It's hard to decide though, because part of me is dying to know and I stalk the u/s forum lol.

Always a great thread topic!

[coocoobananas]

I'm going from previous experience. Of course I thought I would get a girl for number 2. I cried coming out of the u/s and I couldn't help feeling dissaponted and that made me feel guilty. I hated my mixed emotions of being sad and then feeling guilty that I even felt that way, my poor baby like he wasn't what I wanted! So, since I know I'm not good at that and since I know I didn't care in the delivery room that he didn't have a vajayjay I'm hoping that I will be over it! I've got to be and that's it.
What I haven't decided is my way of thinking during my pregnancy. Do I convince myself its a boy so there is no disappointment? Or try to enjoy wondering and the what ifs as its the last time!?

[NCBeachyGrl]

I am really wanting to NOT find out, even more so now after reading your posts!

I really feel like that is what makes pregnancy so exciting...the waiting to meet your sweet baby and the excitement of the gender. When you have a 20 week ultrasound and get the confirmation, there is no more guessing or dreaming, it is just another 20 weeks of waiting. I want to keep that wondering and dreaming going. Although I do want to be realistic. I think I will go into this that we have a 95% chance of getting a boy and ALWAYS stay grounded. It will be very hard though!!

What are you guys going to do about nub shots? Are you going to get them and post or just try to forget about them?

[BeadinMom]

If I can, I will definitely be getting nub shots, and I will totally obsess over it, but I won't be finding out sex beforehand - for the same reason these ladies have said. Last time we asked the tech to write it down and seal it in an envelope, and I MIGHT do that again, but I'll have to think hard about it, because I know how I am and last time we were in the parking garage when we opened the envelope. LOL.

[coocoobananas]

Not sure for me. I actually have my 1st dating u/s tomorrow so not sure if I'll even get pictures. We don't get to know gender anymore in Canada do I have a feeling they'll be avoiding even that area at this point!! I kinda want to post it but kinda don't as I don't want to get my hopes up if people say girly or get worried if people don't lol!!

[BeadinMom]

Wow Coocoo...I can't believe they don't tell you guys gender in Canada anymore. I had no idea. My ob-gyn and a lot of the ones around here stopped giving tapes of ultrasounds for fear of lawsuits, but they still tell you gender.

[mummypink]

This is something I'm unsure about too, I found out with both of my boys so far so it would be nice to have a pregnancy where the babies gender was a surprise. BUT as much as I know I will feel disappointed at a scan if and when I was told we were having another boy I know it won't last long and I will have time to prepare, buy some new gorgeous boy things, plan his name and bond with him before he arrives.
My worry is that if I didn't find out and they announced I had another boy as I delivered him that I would still feel a slight pang of 'oh, it isn't a girl'. I know that sounds awful, and I don't mean I won't love him to pieces because of course I will otherwise I wouldn't even be ttc, but I know I will still feel sad knowing that I will never have a daughter. Does that make sense?

Having said that I am also scared that I would be told girl at the scan and then give birth to a boy after going crazy with pink! A friend of mine who had 3 boys before her princess arrived went and had a 3d scan just to be absolutely certain.

I hope either they can't see at the scan so I simply won't know until the baby is born, or they can tell me 100% for definite and it is really clear.

Of course I also have to get pregnant first!!!

[auroara78]

From the other side of things, I did find it very disappointing DS2 was a boy at the 20 week ultrasound. However, I felt the last 20 weeks was GREAT for me to get used to the idea, pick out a name for him, stay rooted in reality, vs. fantasy, because sometimes my fantasies get the best of me and I daydream a little TOO good.

I think for me knowing the sex beforehand helps me identify with the baby more; I get a better visual picture of what I think he/she will look like, and I spent the first 20 weeks dreaming back and forth about boy / girl, but then once I find out, I have the last 20 weeks to really prepare, get a visual idea of what he/she may be like, then I get to enjoy the shower (my family is crazy, they keep throwing me showers, but it's just family only and it's small excuse for get-togethers!) and just get a name together.

I have always feared (since I have a strong girl preference before I even had my 1st son) that if I had waited and was told boy in the delivery room that I'd have a moment of hesistation, or disappointment, and I don't know this for a fact, since I've never had delivery room surprise, but something about not feeling over 200% joyous over bub's birth has always scared me off being Team Green, because at the moment where they hand me a precious baby, I want to be ALL into the moment, and not have even a trace of 'what if...', I want to love on that baby asap!

[auroara78]

Oh, on the plus side, if you do find out and hear it's a girl, it's pretty amazing to tell everyone 'I'm having a girl' once they ask!! What drove me crazy before I found out if I was out and about with my boys was that people seemed so certain that I'd have another boy just because I already had two, and having confirmation that it's a girl feels so great just to say it back to them, 'no it's a girl!' I cannot express how good that felt, and still feels, when it happens....Plus I was able to look and browse and look at baby girl stuff till my heart's content, which you can do once you have the baby, but it's almost more fun to look at the stuff and try to picture what your baby girl may look like in it....

because let's face it, no matter the gender, newborns are a lot of work!