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  1. #1
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    I hate when people lie to me in this way.

    I *think* their efforts are to make me feel better if I don't get what I "hope" for, but really this type of situation just makes me mad!

    I had a friend today (who has then ) tell me that she got the opposite of what she hoped for both times and it turned out to be the best thing for her! Yet, I KNOW from previous conversations that last time she was desperate for a girl! And she was SOOOOOO happy that she got her!! So, why lie to me now and tell me that last time you had hoped for another boy and was slightly disappointed that you got a girl. UGH!!!

    I mean she's trying to tell me that if I end up with 4 boys and NO girls that I should just be happy with what I get, and she doesn't even have ANY idea how my position might feel, and I just find it annoying!

    Nobody said I won't love this baby either way, but how can I not help but "hope" that it's a girl this time?!

    BTW, guys, I've tried to lay low for a while trying to convince myself that I really don't care that much about the gender. I'm about 4 wks away from delivering now, and it is getting harder by the day! I just want to be done already, and just finally know one way or the other!
    Proud mom to 9, 7, 3 & our March 3, 2011 Surprise baby

  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    I totally understand! Totally! She's def. being very insensitive and I hate that implication that somehow we aren't going to love our child if they're the "wrong" gender!

    The only thing I can add is that maybe she had mixed feelings - I remember being pg with DS 2 and of course I thought a girl would be fun but I did want another boy at the same time. So maybe in her mind, she isn't lying so much as she just was of two minds about what she really wanted. I know even some women who get their DG after 3-4-5 of the opposite, sometimes have sadness and mixed emotions about it and I don't think they're lying necessarily, just that getting a child of the one gender means you will probably never have another of your original gender! People are complicated critters at times!
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  3. #3
    IVF Advice Coach
    nuthinbutpink's Avatar
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    I think you're right about her meaning well. I know how the smallest remarks can make me so ticked still. I have a "friend" that loves to make comments to this day. I doubt she really means anything by them but sometimes I'd like to tell her just to shut the ___ up!
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  4. #4
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    I know once you do get your DG that it probably does make you forget to some degree how much you originally wanted it. And she's re-written the whole thing in her head, it seems. But I REMEMBER the things she said before she found out and WHEN she found out. And so I feel that it is really insensitive to say that to me now.

    I know I'm going to love this baby regardless. But, I can't help but still hold hope until I DO know "who" I'm getting. And I just wish people wouldn't try to make me feel like I'm a bad person for even having a preference. It's ridiculous to think that after have 3 of a kind that you wouldn't "hope" to experience the other too!

    Oh, can this misery be over soon!! I just wanna hold this baby already!!! LOL
    Proud mom to 9, 7, 3 & our March 3, 2011 Surprise baby

  5. #5
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    Maybe she just acted really happy about the girl to hide disappointment it wasn't a boy and she was sharing this with you for the first time?

  6. #6
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    I agree that it sounds like she's revising history in her head. What kind of nimrod has a PP and says that sort of thing to a one-gender mom? It's just insensitive.

    Hope your next few weeks go quickly, and end with a pink bundle!
    06/06
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