Scared to TTC #3!

[Thorz300]

I feel your pain, we just decided to ttc this month after a long internal battle, because I feel that I shouldn't get pregnant again unless I am ok with 4DS because that is probably my most likely outcome. Although I desperately want a DD I will love and be ok with another DS........it took me awhile to get to that place. I hope all works out for you!

[BabyCakesTor]

I feel your pain, we just decided to ttc this month after a long internal battle, because I feel that I shouldn't get pregnant again unless I am ok with 4DS because that is probably my most likely outcome. Although I desperately want a DD I will love and be ok with another DS........it took me awhile to get to that place. I hope all works out for you!

I am in the same boat. I had to really come to terms that I might have another boy and that would be it. I've accepted it and only have a boy name picked out because if I can at least have a name to him when and if I find out its DS4 I can connect with him and move on. Although I know I will mourn for never having a daughter, I will at least be surrounded by all the men that love me ;$

[vanasse2002]

Wow, 4Griffins...when I read your first post, it was like I had written it. My girls are the same age as yours and I am so scared to try again. I have been going back and forth for about a year now on whether or not to give it one more try. DH and I have always wanted to have a boy. I am just so scared that we'd end up with another DD. I love my two DD's, but I am not sure how I feel about having 3...I know that in the end, it we do decide to give it a go and it ends up being a DD, we'll love her no matter what. I am also worried that we are a one gender family because my sister has two DS. It's like she has all the boys and I have all the girls...

[fish2012]

I know exactly how you feel, I have two DD's and they are 17 months apart they are the best of friends. When I started thinking about having another baby my youngest was 3, I finally started trying when she turned 4. As I was swaying I was having second thoughts, I would have move the girls into one room together, if it was another girl I thought for sure she would be left out because DD1 and DD2 are so close in age and are inseperable. At the end of the day I knew if I didn't at least try I would regret it later in life and I didn't want to have to live with that regret.

this worries me too cause my ds are 16 months apart and a third ds might be a tag along.....if its a dd she'll be v spolit thou........

[coocoobananas]

I have the same thoughts as dhouli... Problem is, I got an opposite. I know I'll be happy when he's here but at the moment I am second guessing why the heck I'm here in the first place! My last month (that I got pregnant) I was about to take a break and really think things through. But I promised myself I would try for 3 months and I wanted to follow through. I eased up so much on swaying (although my diet was pretty dang good) and now I keep questioning why I did it, trying to remind myself I was ok with the outcome st the end. However, I wasn't really being honest with myself, I just wanted a girl. It's pretty hard to know how you will feel, I thought I did since I thought it over for over a year... But I still didn't
I can't wait to have him here though so these thoughts will go away, which I know they will. But as tempting as it is, I will never "try" again

[gallons of milk]

I felt like I was reading my own situation when I read this, except the other way around. I have two boys and am desperate for a little girl. But I have felt this way for three years, since DS2 was 2. Well, tbh I cried at his scan, but then he was born and was the best thing that ever happened to me, along with DS1! I forgot about my DG for a couple of years. Then about two years ago I spent weeks researching swaying, did the diet, spent loads of money on supplements that I ordered from all around the world, etc. Then I completely freaked out on the first night (!!!) that we were due to DTD and realised that I just couldn't risk another boy. Then I researched HT and read loads of very sad stories of women who had spent all their money for nothing and then went back to swaying but it didn't work, and I realised I couldn't do that either. After a lot of soul searching and crying with my poor, patient DH, we decided to try for adoption. In the end, I felt that that was the safest route to my DG - if you can get through the process it's a 100% success rate! And I do feel really at peace with that decision in that I think it will be wonderful to give a child a home and to teach our boys about the many different ways you can make a family. I'm not bothered about not having the pregnancy or the baby days (adopting from UK, so there are no babies available, generally they are 1+). My great fear now is that we might not get through the process, which is gruelling here. So even now that I have made a decision that I think I'm happy with, I still feel I can't really embrace it. Unfortunately there just aren't any guarantees. I think the best thing is just to decide on a plan and make yourself follow it through.

I need to take my own advice on that though, then maybe I wouldn't have wasted the last three years!

[Jadis]

I know exactly how you feel! My boys have such a great relationship that I worried that throwing a baby into the mix would ruin the dynamic of our family. If it ain't broke, right? Still, I always pictured us with 3 kids and I worried that if we stoppped at 2 just because life is easier this way, we'd turn 45 and think 'Oh shit...wish we'd had the 3rd". Of course, I'd love the baby I'm pregnant with to be a girl, but I know that I'll adapt and fall in love with another boy. At least I can say that I swayed a bit and what was meant to be was meant to be. Good luck!

[wildwooddays]

First of all, it's great that you are thinking of these things beforehand. We ttc'd #3 with me thinking I didn't care about the gender (I was thrilled my dh finally agreed to let us try for a third) but once I got pregnant I really wanted it to be a girl. I would say, definitely think of the pros and cons of three. No matter what the gender I am sure it will be different than too. But you will also love the child (boy or girl) very much. They say you regret the child you don't have, not the ones you have.