4 girls and husband says he's done. Any hopeful stories out there?

[4devochki]

Our youngest 2 girls (twins after two singletons) have just turned five. Due to my age, adoption agencies will soon reject me for infant/toddler adoptions, and high-tech with donor egg also gets more daunting, though I'm in good health. Mostly I don't want to leave the "starting over" too long, and I am dying, yearning and praying for the boy I've dreamed of for ten years.

DH (younger than me by 9 years) said at one time he "might" be open to adoption but for the last year I've put out feelers every 3 months or so, only to be turned down--no, too hectic, more than we can handle, doesn't feel like a good enough parent, etc. etc.

Giving up this dream would kill me. I honestly don't think I can live in peace for the rest of my days without raising a son. I know we can do this.

Is there anyone who's faced a similar situation and come through it...with your DG, of course? Or not? Would be grateful for any experience.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Hey четири девочки!

My DH was done after 2 kids He has no gender preferences which is unexplainable lol!
Since I want my son BADLY, I talked him to this (failed) project. I was repeating the same day after day after day until he agreed, though he never swayed so I blame him for 3rd girl

The thing is he loves me and he is a good man who loves his children so I knew he'll say 'yes' eventually.
Now he doesn't even know we will try for No4 but I'm sure when the time comes he'll agree. his reasons are our circumstances ( 1 car, small appartment, money....+ our age, I'm 40, he is 39) I understand his point of view completely, but I can't let go of my dream. It's not like we're starving or super poor it's just 'the quality of life" like he says.

I say be persistent and hopefully he'll say yes.

[Hobbermittens]

My DH didn't want a 3rd, let alone a 4th, but after #3 (a surprise pregnancy) turned out to be a girl, and I was devastated, I begged him to sway for a boy--and he eventually agreed. He admitted several times, though, that he was only doing it for me. Now that baby #4 is here, our life is totally hectic and sometimes overwhelming, and honestly, I feel like it has taken a toll on our marriage. Baby #4 is still an infant, so maybe things will be better in a few years. That being said, I am totally happy that I got DS2, and he is worth all the craziness around here!

Anyway, if having a son is your dream, make sure your DH knows that you can't give up, and that you need to fulfill it. Good luck, and I hope your DH comes around!

[4devochki]

Thank you for the encouragement, Hobbermittens!

[4devochki]

Привет, Зивиц! Как дела? Here's hoping both our dreams come true!

[Zivic-Bubac]

Привет, Зивиц! Как дела?

Мила моја, ја сам из Сербије, а мало разумем по Руски
If you want, you can also join us here Later Moms At our age boosting egg quality comes first which is also good for blue sway. Tи ниси сказала колико лета имаш, али си сигурно млађа од мене

[4devochki]

Thank you, Zivic! Колико лета имею--страшное дело (46)! I've joined you on the other board on the great thread you started on DHs' views...

[Longingforgirl]

Hi,
I had a really hard time convincing my DH as well. In the beginning, I thought I didn't have a chance because he insisted on never ever doing that. But with time, he eventually came around. I kept begging him, explaining over and over again why this is so important for me. And after months of begging and explaining, he slowly changed his mind. First I got a "maybe", and then he finally said yes
I wish you very good luck convincing your DH! Until then, you can already do your research about where you would like to go to for this. That way, you can act faster once you got a yes from him.
All the best!

[Violet_]

It's taken a fair bit of time and effort and waiting patiently to convince my DH to go for baby number 4. We both grew up in big families, his 5 kids, mine 10 kids and we both have this concern for our children being looked after well enough. Don't need to be rich but don't want my children having to fight for their food or almost starving like in my household. But I won't let that happen. My mum spend $1000's of dollars on unnecessary things when her children had no food or clothes, a dirt floor to sleep on etc. That won't happen to our family. If this baby isn't a girl, then I want to try again. Hubby says no more after this but we will take it as it comes.

[4devochki]

Thanks to you both, Longing and Violet. You give me hope, which is precious. Sending copious girl dust your way...

We live in Russia where there are lots of little boys in orphanages. I look at their pictures sometimes and cry. So I know right where we'd go, what agency to use, how to get the documents together, who can do our home study here, etc...if only I could inspire and convince DH!