Getting ready for Tuesday - big scan

[ocean]

OP - I've felt the same self-anger/sadness with myself for not going HT for my 2nd. I think many of us don't know how we'll feel until we're there and FEEL it. Regret is a bitter pill. Does it make you want up try for a 3rd like it has me? With HT. 3 just wasn't the plan AT ALL though...and I wonder if I'm going too far with this sadness of mine.

[KidAtHeart]

Well, I did go HT for our fourth... and it didn't work. We had two cycles and neither reached the retrieval stage. So we spent a ton of money - but on the other hand, I can truly say we tried everything. We just couldn't do any more cycles. It is too expensive and too stressful. I'm pregnant now - naturally. I am 30 weeks along and didn't find out... though yesterday we had an ultrasound and I have an envelope with the gender taunting me. I think I've decided to wait one more week until after my baby shower, and then find out privately with my husband. I really do want the surprise, but it's probably more important in the scheme of things to find out and have to time to adjust to the probable reality of four boys. Four boys, wow!! Never thought that would happen! I never thought four kids would happen, period! But here we are. btw - this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned, but it was a last ditch effort to try. I was about to get an IUD put in and move on. I have to think this little person really was meant to be a part of our family!

[KidAtHeart]

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post. My point is that even going HT is not a guarantee of getting your desired gender. Yes, if you make it all the way through you are pretty much guaranteed gender, but a lot can happen on the way for it to be unsuccessful. It's a long, hard, expensive road. Don't beat yourself up for not doing going through it.

[ocean]

KidatHeart - (and I'm hijacking a bit too) - you're giving good thoughts, thanks. I try to tell myself that if I'd ever even gotten to the consult stage before, I wouldn't have continued. I thought at the time I was okay with either gender after multiple m/c. I thought at the time that whatever I got was 'meant to be'. And even as my doctor said, 'you just get what you get.' My DH wasn't comfortable with anything other than natural conception and said he'd blame me and the process if the child had any problems. And as you say - it's clearly a long, hard, expensive road. The only way it'll happen with #3 is if I REALLY still want this in 6+ months.

[KidAtHeart]

HT is like going through a rabbit hole. Even the consult is a couple hundred bucks. What was the hardest for me was having to keep the whole thing a secret. Very stressful. Now I am SO glad I kept it quiet. It actually makes it easier to keep other things a secret now (I'm pretty much an open book most of the time). But I've come to realize that some things are really just none of other people's business.

If your husband's not on board, then there's your answer. You really need the support going through HT.

Having said all this, I don't regret going HT. It answered any questions I would ever have on the issue. If this baby is a boy again, I won't have any 'what ifs' - the gender is totally out of my control.