In defense of boys

[BZ94]

So a good friend with a 3.5 year old DD texted yesterday to tell met that she's having a boy in September. Her words were "BOY! You'll have to help me through this." I told her I was happy for her and that she'll love having a boy because boys (at least my boys) LOVE their mommies. She continued making comments about how she wasn't sure she'd know what to do, she'd heard that boys get easier when they're older and that she'd have to 'wait and see.' Finally I snapped and texted "Well you're lucky-- you'll have one of each to compare!" I haven't heard from her since.

I've never expressed my GD around her, so she might not have known that she hit a nerve, but it just confirmed my suspicions that for the last few years while my boys climbed, jumped, and shouted their way through our playdates she's been a total SMOG who thinks her (totally bland, boring) DD is better behaved because she's a girl. Which is probably true, but I wish instead of acting like she'd been cursed by finding out #2 is a boy she could have said something like, "I'm so happy to get to have a son!" or "It will be good for DD to have a brother to play with."

I'm sure I'm being oversensitive but I hate when people with girls act scared of having boys. My boys are a handful but they're so much fun, so affectionate and loving, and although I'm disappointed not to have a daughter, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I just hate when moms of girls act like boys are a different species altogether.

[Kiara]

Insensitive of her! I dont think its good to compare boys and girls that way. They are all individuals and there are a lot of girl that are more wild than boys for example. No gender is better than the other. Congratulations to your boys!

[Haking]

That is too bad that she wasn't acting excited to be having son! I do think that people that have only one gender of children have a preconceived notion about the other.

I do think that boys may be a bit more wild at times where girls are more quite and gentle at times but not one gender is better over another. I have 1 DS and one on the way due in August and though I was a bit disappointed to be having a second DS at first I am now excited at having two boys. DS1 is so attached and I have no doubt that DS2 will be the same way though DS1 loves all the fun "boy stuff" like being rough and loud!

I wouldn't trade it for the world! I love my boys!

[motherofboys]

Its funny because so many people tell me 'you don't want a girl, girls are so much worse than boys' even though they don't now about my GD.
Anyway my ex-sil who I am still friendly with for my nieces sake (shes my brothers daughter) is expecting her 1st boy after 2 girls. She keeps messaging me asking how I cope with testosterone because she wants to kill everyone! She said it so many times that I got annoyed and said maybe I have a naturally high level of testosterone because it doesn't effect me. I've been fine with my boys, not at all moody or irritable.
She also keeps asking what you do with a boy. I told her that you do pretty much the same as a girl, you feed them, you wash them, your dress them, you change their nappies. And she said "but he'll have a willy" I'm sorry but she has my 3 boys, her sister also has 3 boys and her best friend has 2 boys. Her girls have always been the only girls when we have all got together. She has changed all of these boys nappies over the years she knows what she is doing. She also knows I'm expecting number 4 and although I joke saying I better not get a girl just because she got a boy (we have been pregnant together before and always have opposites) she must be able to see through that if she knows me so it winds me up.

I love boys, boys are great. For a start their toys are SO much cooler, as are the tv shows and films they want to watch. There is no way I could sit through bratz the movie or whatever girls like now. And their toys are all dolls and dolls houses, and tiny animals dressed in human clothing. They don't fire beams of light from their eyes or turn green when they get angry! LOL Sure girls have lots of pretty clothes but have you tried to climb a tree in a dress?

In case you can't tell I am the least girly person ever. Yes I do want and daughter and I'm sure I will enjoy all those girly things IF I ever get one, but I get very defensive of boys because of peoples attitudes.

[xokatietatie]

I get VERY defensive over my boys!!!! I desperately wish for a little girl, but when I encounter SMOGs I become so over the top team blue!!!

[CherryBlossom]

Sorry for the dumbness but what does smog mean?
I'm defensive especially when it comes to a mum with one son and pregnant with their second hoping for a girl ( fair enough totally get that!!!) but then say how much they'd hate to have two boys! How crap it would be to have two of the same sex right away.
I just had a friend who already has two girls. Pregnant again and both desperately wanted another girl. Apparently her hubby didn't want a boy .... As boys turn to drugs =/
They got their wish .... They're having another girl.

[mommymachine]

I hate it. I hate boy bashing. It makes me so happy I had boys first so I never had to have those thoughts in my mind about boys. I was just on IG and someone was saying horrible things about HER OWN son. It breaks my heart.

Also, I'm not sure who started the rumour that little girls sit nice. I believed it too. It's not true. At least not with my DD. She is second to no brother in energy level. She climbs tables and baby gates and runs around screaming. Her diaper is much harder to change than the boys...poop gets up everywhere. The only difference with her, is she does love clothes and wants to wear dresses and tutus and picks them out at only 15 months. And she does tend to show a bit more affection. I don't know if its cause she's a girl or because of personality. Oh she does hold grudges and her brothers don't. Those are the only differences. She hates hairbows. Hates them.

[mommymachine]

SMOG Is the dragon on The Hobbit. No I'm sorry I'm a bit of a geek. SMOG = smug mothers of girls.

[motherofboys]

I know someone with 2 of each said she would rather have had 4 girls because boys leave you and girls dont???? and I've seen people say boys take drugs and get in with wrong crowds or are not as clever and wont make any thing of their lives. Boys have no ambition. That could be said for any one of any gender.

[Mrs_P]

I am very protective of my boys to and i hate all of the negative comments and take great pleasure in telling people how great my boys are (yes they are loud and rowdy but i love every minute of it and they are all soooo loving) BUT i must admit i thought them when i found out i was having my first son . I thought every horrible gender stereo type in the world would happen to me and i'd get this horrible alien male teenager i'd have no idea what to do with. I loved him instantly but i worried for a long time what if i didn't bond with him when he became a boy and not a baby (i remember looking at this little toddler compared to my baby and thinking i hope i still feel the same then; rather stupid looking back as thats always been my favorite since - when they start to get their personalities).

Anyway i'm sorry she hit a nerve and i understand your reaction but GD can go both ways and it may have took a lot for her to confide in you, she may just be scared and turned to you because you seem so happy with your family and have been there (for me i'd never had a decent male in my life, i'd always hated my brother, had an alcoholic father and although i had really fallen for my then partner (now hubby) the pregnancy wasn't planned we'd only be together a few years and i worried so much i'd be alone and he wouldn't want us).

But then i do also know a couple of women in that place whose daughters are typical seen and not heard children and had a real culture shock when they had sons, my SIL especially she still tells everyone what hard work her son is (he's not he's just a toddler) and what a handful he is and she's a teacher!!. I hope for both their sakes she falls as hard for her little boy as the rest of us have for ours