Thread: Sad and feel alone
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January 26th, 2014, 04:11 PM #1
Sad and feel alone
Someone very close to me just had an opposite after two of the same. I am pg with my third after two girls.
I am so so happy for her, but I can't help feeling like I will feel alone and sad if DC3 is a girl. I talked to my husband a lot about it and although he wants a boy, he wants us to be rooting for a healthy baby. He is more scared that the baby might have problems based on stories he has heard lately.
So far, in my family, I am the only one with the same gender children and am scared that I will feel judged or even pitied. It is the pity that most concerns me- and the ways I might pity myself. I swayed for DD2 (although it was IG style and nothing like HE), and swayed for this one. I feel great about this sway and my intuition is leaning boy, but I know I might be wrong.
Society tends to look down on same gendered families- like we have bad luck. But, I know that God has selected each individual child and that gender doesn't matter. Each child is unique and really special. I believe that, but it is hard not to feel sad.
Anyway, I really needed someone to talk to about it, but feel afraid to come out to some of my friends.TTC Blue!
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January 26th, 2014, 11:18 PM #2
I feel the same! Ive heard other people say "wow 3 girls? What a handful".its so mean.I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet & I'm already worried because dh didn't really want another baby.I can only imagine his disappointment if its another dd.I worry he will resent me as well. Don't feel alone.We are all the same here.ive said this before but we all have the same hopes& dreams& fears.this is why everyone on this site is so supportive& compassionate because we know EXACTLY how u feel.We are here for u!
Jan. 22 2008 7lbs 7oz Mar. 14 2011 6lbs 11ozs (my birthday gift &
drug free water birth baby) Feb 2 2013 my surrogate bun 5 weeks 11/25/13.:9 weeks 5/9/14NOT giving up on my dream for
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January 27th, 2014, 10:46 AM #3
I have 2 dds and I know how both of you feel! My DH is also rooting for a healthy baby but I know for certain he wants a son. He was buying a little robot for his godson and said that he couldn't wait til his son arrives so that he can buy things like that for his own kid. I feel so much pressure! I'm actually finally at peace with the idea of having a 3rd daughter but I know it will be harder for him, although he would love her to pieces. And I also don't want people to pity me, which is why I'm not even telling people we are ttc. Right after dd2 people were already asking if we were gonna try again for a boy. People can be very insensitive.
Mika
DD1 2003
DD2 2007
: November 27, 2015 - my angel
Due July 14, 2018 with another beautiful !!
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January 27th, 2014, 04:05 PM #4
Thanks so much for your support. My DH absolutely adores are dds and plays with them a lot. He first loves being a father, but he feels strongly about having a son, but doesn't put as much pressure on me as I do on myself. I do think that swaying works, but it's no guarantee.
The truth is, I have never once heard a negative comment about my girls. If anything, people stop to tell me how jealous they are, etc. Women in the grocery store give them big smiles. So, I feel like the pity really comes from within me. And the loss of raising a son.
Good luck on ttc blue! I pray my sway was effective!TTC Blue!
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January 28th, 2014, 11:33 AM #5Swaying Advice Coach
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oh spicy I'm so sorry to read this. I don't even know what comes over people when they make comments about all-one-gender families.
If it helps at all there are tons of ladies on here who would LOVE to have a 2 or 3 girl family and think of it as the ideal. So for every person who makes a stupid comment, there are lots of others who are dying of jealousy!!!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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