Is it rare NOT to have a girl?

[lemonade]

Seriously. Sometimes I wonder. I'm part of a moms get together, and out of something like 60 members, only about 2 or 3 moms have only boys. Either they have the daughter first, or she comes along after the son, or all girls.

Here's what stings the most:

My best mom friend's son and my son were born 2 weeks apart. I had always wanted a daughter, but my friend loooved being a boy mom and she really helped me learn to love it too. She was obsessed with all the adorable baby boy clothing out there, and anything truck, robot or dinosaur. Having only sisters myself, it was so much fun to share the boy experience with her. She loved it so much, she wanted a second boy. Then I got pregnant again. The topic about whether she still wanted a boy next somehow came up again and she went "I don't know, it might be kinda nice to experience having a little girl, with all the adorable bows and dresses. Especially since I'm only having two."

So I find out I'm having my second boy, and knowing she was trying, I already start to feel twinges of envy that she might have a perfect pigeon pair. Sure enough, yup. Just after my second son is born, the announcement comes in. "I bought my first pink outfit today!" She's a very enthusiastic person, so I knew just how thrilled she was to have a whole new wardrobe to obsess over. And.... a daughter. A woman just like herself to raise. She now has the best of both worlds. Just like almost everybody else. I admit I completely fell apart after her announcement. My boy mom friend is gone. Sure we can still talk, but she has a whole new world open to her now, one that I'll be increasingly unable to relate to. That was the world I always dreamed I'd have. She didn't even necessarily want it very badly, but it just came to her. And she's not disappointed she's not having that second little boy she once said she wanted, she's thrilled. What woman wouldn't want a daughter of her own? Her family is complete.

It's weird because I don't necessarily envy pigeon pairs. I think kids are generally happiest with a same gender sibling. But it's more that I feel like I've kind of lost a friend. My closest boy mom friend. They are so hard to find. Baby girls are everywhere. And baby boys will no doubt have a baby sister come along in a few years. Yes, I know I sound insane, but in my circles, boy moms are a rarity.

[covered in blue]

Yep I feel the same. Same thing happened to me with my BFF. We were pregnant together with our first. Both boys. Then we both got pregnant again unexpectedly at the same time. She got a girl and I got a boy. We were still close for about a year but now rarely speak and I don't even get her updates on FB (My choice). She designs kids clothing - 90% which is girls and it's just constant girl frilly cuteness which I can't stand. She knows where we stand though. I told her about my GD and last time we caught up she did try to tone it down. It's just not in any way the same as it used to be. I need my little girl so I can get my friend back

[trifecta]

It's a sad irony that not having a girl can wreak havoc on our other female relationships, isn't it? I've never felt so estranged from other women. I wish I knew some other boy moms in real life.

[Rosie85]

I totally get it. Out of a group of about 6 ladies I am the only one without one of each. All my friends have pigeon pairs. They relate to each other so well and I get left out of so much both because I only have just boys and also because I have more than two. I don't even really want to be friends with them anymore because they just don't get it.

[jmomof3girls]

I'm the only one I know with 3 of the same gender also. Everyone seems to have mixed gender children around me too! I totally understand.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't think it's rare to have a girl and that's why I know swaying can't be this impossible nut to crack LOL.

I think that in this world where people are getting some weird message from society that 2 kid families are normal/desirable and then at the same time being sold a bill of goods by the "plastic crap manufacturers" that you need to buy these two dissimilar sets of plastic crap for each of your kids, it somehow gets blown out of all proportion. People have always had all boy and all girl families (remember 7 Brides for 7 Brothers) but it's new that there is a value judgement that comes along with it.

I know for a fact tha 70-90 years ago my husband's grandma and my great-grandma both had GD, one for a girl, one for a boy. I've talked to elderly neighbors who all instinctively knew that of COURSE I wanted a girl and it didn't make me any kind of bad person or anything. But somehow that message - that it's normal part of the human experience to want both genders, and that there may be something special about the same-sex parent/child relationship. I don't think it's anything new under the sun.

[carmella_marie]

A dear friend of mine really wanted a boy. She has 2 daughters. I wanted a girl and have 2 sons. We talk about it often. We were pg at the same times with both. When she found out her second was a girl I just turned to DH and said, "crap, we've got a second boy on the way !" I just knew. We often wonder why our babies weren't "switched". I highly value her friendship.