Another two boy Mom gets a girl

[maidentomother]

I just got lucky. I can't remember how I stumbled across gender swaying - and I found InGender first - but it was pure luck. I was going to TTC in Dec 2013 no matter what (after like 6 weeks on diet). If I hadn't found GD I might have a little boy by now as my plan was to BD as much as possible and we know how that works out!

Like pretty much everyone on here it never crossed my mind that I would have anything except 50/50 boys and girls. But I do really want a girl first. Yes I am a total control freak.

I would be really upset with your sister, too. My much older half sister has 2 girls. More recently one of my best friend had 2 boys, then a 3rd! I think that's when it hit me that that could happen to me, too - even if just subconsciously. Before I would have had complete faith in my dreams just like you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Grr, something annoyed me that my Mum said not so long ago. Some close family friends son was due with baby number three. They have two girls and the baby was a boy. My Mum was delighted for them. "Oh it is so nice for _____ to get a boy!" How could she not see that in reverse for me, Can anyone actually admit that they would have been a bit less excited if it had been a third girl. It is like they play the caring about gender thing where it suits them. I am still debating whther or not to tell my parents about our HT plans. They want us having no more and know I just want another so I can have a girl. I think she will not understand but at least if it works I wont be trying for a 5th. She will def be our last

My mom has 2 girls and a boy (who is a real handful) and she was like, I couldn't have handled another boy! And I'm like, you are sitting there unsupportive of me finding out I'm having my 4TH boy!

She's normally totally cool but wasn't good with the gender disappointment.

[1+2+3boys]

With DPs track record I am talking about his three older sons. Our boys' half bros. Though we just call them brothers. My Dp has 6 sons to three different Women! Hence my user name. He had one, then two then three boys. I joke that if we split he would have to have 4 boys with his next partner. lol. We are totally good though and I feel very lucky so I do not see that happening. Anyway, it is time to break the boy streak even if we have to 'cheat' to do it. His Sis had three boys too but a girl first.
I'd love to add one more grand daughter.

[1+2+3boys]

My mom has 2 girls and a boy (who is a real handful) and she was like, I couldn't have handled another boy! And I'm like, you are sitting there unsupportive of me finding out I'm having my 4TH boy!

She's normally totally cool but wasn't good with the gender disappointment.

Oh my. Maybe she meant a bit that she thought you did such a good job with boys unlike she could have. So I guess it could have been taken as a compliment but even so, very hard to hear while experiencing GD.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't think she even thought it through that far. It was one of those offhand remarks that people make without even thinking. It wasn't meant as a compliment to me, more that my brother was very difficult.

That was a really, really cruddy day for me because I had just found out about my 4th boy and she was really unsupportive, stopped just short of rolling her eyes, then went on to talk about how she was getting hypnotized to quit smoking and the hypnotist's life story and it just all felt very self-centered. IKYKWIM. She's not a bad person or anything, it was just one of those days where other people just really can't ever get it, I don't think.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

A colleague of mine is pregnant with her third, due in July. She had a boy and a girl already and I am beyond envious that she has the luxury to just "have a third for fun". She just announced her pregnancy and I must admit I was instantly annoyed.

This is why I struggle so much with gender desire. Everybody is having babies right now-it's our time. And all around me ppl are getting PPL! It's maddening.

[Adia]

A colleague of mine is pregnant with her third, due in July. She had a boy and a girl already and I am beyond envious that she has the luxury to just "have a third for fun". She just announced her pregnancy and I must admit I was instantly annoyed.

This is why I struggle so much with gender desire. Everybody is having babies right now-it's our time. And all around me ppl are getting PPL! It's maddening.

Yes, our hackles are up permanently when we are prego. I am lucky this time around & my day-to-day life is mostly around people almost 20years younger than me who can't even fathom having kids anytime soon.

It really helps that no one in my daily circle is prego...but when I was prego with DD3...it was awful. We lived on a small military base overseas and everyone was prego! When the ships came home from long deployments their was always a flock of babies born 9 months later.
One of my best friends got prego just days before me. She had a girl after 2 boys and I had DD3...the list went on. This person had 2 girls and went team green - a boy, of course! This person had a boy after 2 girls, of course, that is what she ordered!!

I could hardly go outside sometimes because it stung so bad. AND that was when the "OMG 3 GIRLS!" comments were at their worst. I would NEVER tolerate such horrid comments now, but I am much wiser this time around.

And because of my age, most of my friends are DONE having kids and have been for a while. I am bracing myself for the "OMG, I can't believe you are having another one when DD1 is almost 16!!!" All I have to say to that is "stuff it!" Its my life and I can do what I want! Sometimes it feels like we just can't win...that is when I intentionally start to check out of certain things like FB, family emails & gatherings, etc!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Only those PP people can avoid all this harassment! If you don't have a PP by the time you reach age 30 you fall out the "normal" category and into a place where society has apparently been given the right to make judgements about you and your reproductive choices! Honestly when did we become such a rigid race with such strict ideals and rules?!? No wonder I abuse the word hate!

[1+2+3boys]

I just got home from the boys' Christmas production and there were so many pigeon pairs there. The little girls in angel costumes didn't set me off, it was this;
I saw "the man" and "the woman" walking back to their car with their boy and girl in tow thinking, they got their boy... and they got their girl. Or there's his boy and her girl or vice versa. I saw that scenario so many times tonight. None of those kids were as cute as mine and I am so proud of my boys but the amount of jealousy was enough to slightly taint my enjoyment of the evening and once again bring up the sad feeling of, I don't have my girl. And so many of these people do. Why not me. It all seems so unfair. Truely truely really unfair. Why did it have to be me, but I wouldn't swap my boys for anything. I'm smitten by them and so proud and would die in an instant for any one of them. Gosh I am lucky. But not lucky enough. Why can't I stop being so selfish and wanting the icing on the cake too.

Yesterday DP snapped at me in passing saying "We are not doing that stupid IVF thing," I know it was not a good time to bring it up but I can't help dwelling on it and feeling upset. I feel like he has changed his mind again. I really may never have a daughter ever in my life and that feeling f**ken sucks so bad.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I can't imagine having twins, especially boys, on my second pregnancy. I really feel for you and hope you and your husband pursue HT. I would if was at #3 and hearing how desperately bad you want a girl, only convinced me more.

I know it's expensive and not a guarantee but I wonder what price we are willing to put on our dreams? Can I live the rest of my life without a daughter? I don't think I can and I sense you can't either. Not happily anyway. I don't think it's fair to call yourself selfish either. If you can't change how you feel without that little girl in your life I don't see any other options. Everybody says how it's natural to want bother genders...what you are feeling is a natural response to not getting that. I have chosen to stop beating myself up. We got a shit deal and it's ok to feel bad about it.