Third pregnancy, third boy, probably done

[Arimethia]

I'm now 31 weeks pregnant with my third boy, which I have had to work up to getting excited about because I really wanted to raise a daughter an I knew this was most likely my last pregnancy. It's been frustrating because I feel like I've also had to get the family on board with being excited about him after they found out he was a boy. We're throwing our own shower since we want to celebrate him and don't really know anyone who would do that for us. (My first two had showers that were kind of after thoughts when we were part of a church. We're a really introverted family so people often overlook us.)
This pregnancy has been way harder than my first two as well, I was really sick at the beginning and gained 30 pounds in the first 6 months because carbs was the only thing that kept me from throwing up. Then my allergies ramped up so bad we had to send our dog to live with my parents until after the baby comes. (My reaction got do bad my medicines weren't working and I start having preterm labor.) all that has kind of confirmed this is my last kid.
When I was registering for the few small odds and ends we need, this older lady stopped me and asked for my advice about something she was buying. I helped her out and she asked if I was pregnant with my first and when I told her it was my third (no mention of gender) she said, "you really think people are going to buy you anything?!" it was quite possibly the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me, especially after I had been helping her. It especially stung since we've decided to host our own shower since our moms are too busy to do it and we don't know anyone well enough in our new city to do it.

I sometimes wish my sway had worked or I had tried harder just so it wouldn't be such an uphill battle to get everyone, including myself, on the excited to meet our third train.

Oh yeah, and my mother in law bought me a dieting book and a parenting book for Christmas, so that's fun. We feel so supported.

[hotdogz&boyz]

Sounds like you are struggling with a two-fold problem, half related to gender and the other not really, but it seems linked. People aren't as excited for a third pregnancy. It's just a fact. My three are close in age (5, 3, 19mo) and we did something "different" for each kiddo to celebrate (shower for #1, mothers blessing for #2, meet the baby for #3) and I'll say...there were about six close relatives at our celebration for our third. There were prolly 30 at my first shower and 20 at my mothers blessing. It's tough to have kids close in age for that reason. I am of the mind that each kid deserves to be celebrated in some way, but I do notice that no one is nearly as excited after #2. Which comes to the gender issue...that its hard for you to muster that new excitement because you desired a girl. And, of course, there are legitimately people who will respond negatively to a third of the same. Which stinks, because it's still a whole new person. No matter what, that life is worth excitement. And I'm sorry you are experiencing the negativity that brings you down further. And that your pregnancy is so tough this go-round. I have also put on a lot of weight for the same reason this time around (I'm 29w and am at 35lbs gained and I still get sick and eat more white carbs than anything!). I hope your new area surprises you and your party is a success. Maybe don't invite the MIL! Lol.

[nuthinbutpink]

LOL about your MIL. Classic.

I like the saying good things come in threes. Many of us on here have three of a kind- I don't like to say three of the same because they are all so different! I wouldn't call it a shower...it's a celebration of life! You have the right to celebrate your new addition and he should be celebrated. Don't let others' insecurities or judgements get you down. It's your family and only you know when it is complete. It's such a blessing to now have your youngest son get to experience being a big brother. That's really cool and instead of them just having one sibling to go through life with, they now have two which will be wonderful. I have found each of my siblings helps me in different ways and I value them all. I can't imagine just having one sibling to get through life with. So, congrats on your third and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

[Arimethia]

Yeah, we're calling it a shower but it's more of a party. My husband is brewing a special batch of beer, we're serving sliders and having a piñata for the kids. A lot of our family hasn't seen our new house yet so it will be an opportunity for them to see it, and we registered for stuff like diapers, pacifiers, a diaper bag and favors like bring a meal or do a load of laundry.

We definitely wanted at least three kids no matter the gender because I have one brother and I often wish I had another sibling now that I'm an adult and my husband has two brothers, so did my dad. So I was semi prepared to have a boy but I really pine for a daughter.

Maybe we'll have more but the way our future is looking right now it's unlikely. My husband needs to finish his degree and working full time that's going to take 2-4 more years and while he currently is working in his field he needs a degree to reach his full earning potential even though without one he's more competent than most college grads in his line of work. After that I just feel like there would be too much of a gap between kids. This one is already almost four years behind the last one. So in four years I'll have a 10, 7 and 4 year old. We might be done with babyhood by then. I won't say never, but I'm not going to deny that as our kids get older things seem to get easier, once all three are in school I doubt I'll want to start over (well I might for a girl if PGD is affordable to us by then). Lol

[covered in blue]

I'm sorry. It suxs doesn't it! I get it. We had recently moved when we had our third boy too. It was hard. I felt like no one was excited for us and that's especially hard when you are mustering all the excitement you can yourself. I only got a few small gifts from a couple of relatives in the mail. I didn't even get a single bunch of flowers. I had one friend visit after me at home after he was born. No one visited me in hospital (apart from DH and the kids) even though I was stuck there for 4 days (high blood pressure). And then there are the endless comments. DS3 was also a really small baby and struggled to put on weight. When I finally took him out for the first time at 4 weeks old to the mall I got told off by some random old lady about taking such a small baby out in public

The thing that hurts most of all I think is that had he been a girl things would have been different. People would have been more excited for us as we would have been too.

All of that said I love seeing our 3 boys together and really can't imagine it any other way. There is something really special about 3 brothers. DS3 was going to be our last too. Though we have changed our mind. Try not to dwell too much on that now. You don't know what the future will bring. And as for all the comments - I just try super hard not to care what other people think. I don't want anyone to drag me down though it still happens occasionally.

Something that helped me was getting some super cute photos done of DS3 + some with his brothers after he was born. Also got some family ones too and they make me super proud when I look at them.

Big hugs xxx. Everything will turn out just fine. Put some pics up here after he arrives

[atomic sagebrush]

I have no advice, just (((hugs)))! I really wish it would have gone your way. I hope it gets easier over time.

[jen75]

hugs to you mama, i have 4 of a kind and it does sting, especially the comments. xxxxxxx it will be better when you meet him.