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January 13th, 2015, 04:59 PM #1
SIL has just had the first girl in the family
My SIL just gave birth to the first girl in the family, after 5 boys total (3 are mine). You can imagine, everyone is over the moon and not afraid to say it. The Facebook comments about FINALLY a girl, and how thrilled people are about this, it really hurts. She even looks like my sons, and I think "that is what my daughter would look like". I'm really happy to have a niece, but would be happier if I also could have a daughter. Now I'm going to go HT, but I'm so scared to do IVF, hormones, failed cycles, non-transfers, or just no pregnancy.
I just wish I wasn't in this situation. Also having 4 kids, it wasn't part of my plan, I'm exhausted as it is with 3!
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January 13th, 2015, 05:18 PM #2Swaying Advice Coach
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I am so sorry.
In my family, back in 2009 we had 6 boys and one girl. (4 were mine, one my sister's, one my cousin. The girl is my brother's) Fast forward to 2015 and we now have 6 boys and 5 girls (Mine, my sister's, my brother's girl, and then two of my cousins had/are having girls!) My point is, it can turn around so quickly that you wouldn't even believe it!
FWIW - your daughter will be the cutest anyway...mine is LOL.
I know how hard it is, though. I think, if only it would have gone the way I wanted it to, I would have so much more time and energy to enjoy it.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikesmaudster liked this post
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January 13th, 2015, 05:23 PM #3IVF Advice Coach
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I'm sorry. That is tough. I hope you get your girl and add another to the mix!
Mom to
and my IVF/PGD
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January 13th, 2015, 05:35 PM #4
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January 13th, 2015, 06:27 PM #5
Ohhh that must be so frustrating and painful, I'm sorry! I hope you are a OHW when you go HT and have a beautiful, easy little girl whom everyone dotes on, even more than they do her cousin.
My Ovulation Chart currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP
TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!
Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after remověng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic
Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period
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January 13th, 2015, 06:40 PM #6Dream Vet
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Hi, sorry to hear, that must be hard. I feel the same re how many kids I wanted. I don't want to be in this position either. I'd rather not have to have more because I am so tired and busy and crave some me time badly so another kid would make that so much harder. But I can not let go of not having a girl. It must be hard seeing what your girl might look like. I am adopted so wont have that problem. We want to do HT too for that garuntee but it seems so crap that I have to go through all that when for others it just happens. Also the age gap thing will suck a bit. I am tempted to sway to avoid that big age gap since we can't afford HT for at least a year or two but I just don't want to up my work load unless it will 100% be a girl. I hope HT works for you so you can enjoy your niece without the sorrow lurking behind
DPs sons 21 +13 11 + our 6 4 year old identical twins!
I might actually be over my deep yearning for a and it's an exciting feeling
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January 13th, 2015, 07:12 PM #7Dream Vet
Oh I'm going to be in the same boat in a couple of weeks I think. On DH's side SIL is team green. She has 1 boy, we have 3, and other BIL has 2 boys. Someone's gonna pop out that girl and it's going to be a HUGE deal and I'm dreading it! (even though I know it would be awesome if we do get our girl at some stage so she has a girl cousin.). I can just imagine how much it hurts. Try not to read all those comments xx
I'm so happy you have HT plans! FXed it's an easy road for you and you get to bring your little girl home soon.Very blessed with
Due 24th March 2016
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January 13th, 2015, 07:17 PM #8
I totally get how that hurts especially if it seems like she got her DD so easily! I am waiting to hear SIL babies gender and just dreading to here if she got DG and how often I will have to hear about it!
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January 13th, 2015, 08:11 PM #9
Totally hearing you!
We have 4 beautiful boys 11, 8, 5 and 13 months. I am one of 5 kids 3 girls 2 boys, my husband is one of 3 2 boys and a girl. My brother had a baby a month after my last one and I rejoiced when he was a boy since newborn hormones would have not helped hearing first girl. Fast forward a year and on our 4 th boy's b day his girl cousin was born, dh's brothers kid. this was dec 2nd last year. I have been seeing my psch constantly and suffering big time my sister is due in may and wasn't finding out. I have said ill throw a baby shower etc. she left first baby till 37 even though with same guy for 11 years. Now she found out its a girl ! how am I supposed to plan a baby girl baby shower when I cant get through the day
sorry to hijack thread with my miserableness I haven't written on here for a year but now even though I had my tubes tied during my c section im back on here researching HT just can't see future without 'her'
I hope you have support and can cope as best you can xxx
my psych says you don't have to like the situation but you can cope with it... im still not sure!
xxxxBoy 2003
Boy 2006
Boy 2009
boy number 4 Dec 2013
Cyprus Team Miracle Oct/Nov 2017 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilised, 7 to testing, 3 healthy xx
transferred 2 AA xx BFP Nov 10th 2 heartbeats seen and heard at 7.5 weeks
10 week scan one twin fetal demise 8 weeks, one healthy heartbeat seen.
Baby Girl Born 13th July 2018 my world is finally complete!
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January 13th, 2015, 08:27 PM #10
I have to host SIL shower and dreading if she gets her desired gender because then I will have to watch her get the praise and shower I always wanted! At least you know now, I'm still waiting and it's so hard, I'd rather know now so I can prep myself!
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