Here comes the GD again!

[EmileeJane]

I am 11 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and while I'm very happy to finally be here I am starting to feel very down about a 3rd boy. I just know this baby is a boy. Too many people around me are getting their boy or girl on their 3rd go and I know I'll be in the 25% that has the same gender family. I can feel that this is a boy. I'm feeling horribly sad that I will absolutely never have a daughter. I am trying to wrap my mind around it and feel okay about it. I'm scared to death of telling people I have 3 boys. Everyone else makes GD sooo much worse. The pitty looks and worse comments. . . That is what's going to break me.

[Magical22]

Thinking of you I totally understand these feeling, big hugs!!


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[EmileeJane]

THANK YOU pink bean!! I really am excited to be having another.
Yes the hormones are making me cry at the drop of a dime lately.
I was Team Green with DS2 but after the first 5 days I was mourning the loss of a daughter, so this time yes, we will find out. And there will be no way I will share it with anyone if we are having a 3rd boy. For sure people will still say rude crap but hoping it subsides by the time baby is here.
The funny thing is when I think about my life as a mom with 2 boys it doesn't bug me. I'm ridiculously proud of my kind, thoughtful, intelligent boys. I still get dressed up and do my hair and make up and feel pretty. Like I've still got my femininity. I would never want my boys to be anything else. But still when I see a woman with 3 boys I secretly pity her. From an outside view I'd pity me too! What is wrong with me?!
We actually have a name picked out for a boy this time(neither of my kids were named util the day we left the hospital with them), so that is oddly helping my GD a bit. Maybe because it starts to give personality or direction to our baby.
Anyway long ramble. Thank you gals for the kind words and thoughts.

[Claire33]

Oh sweetheart, it's difficult isn't it? I've been through this too many times now! The waiting for gender is difficult. And the verdict hits you like a ton of bricks. I've been there, hearing boy for the 3rd time. It was hard. I also always pitied women who had 3 or 4 boys, and here I was in that same position. Luckily you kind of forget is after a while, I don't think about people feeling pity for me. There is no point. I just enjoy my 3 children (which is what they are, children, regardless of gender), and they are mine, and they need a loving mommy.

I really hope you hear girl. But know that you will be ok if you hear boy. It will take some time, you will have to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve and get over it.

FX for girl for you!

[atomic sagebrush]

You are in the worst part now, it gets better once the baby arrives. You will survive. People always seem like they are looking down on you for something, and it's THEIR problem, not yours. Keep your head high and know that you are doing what you need to do and taking care of your own business.

Remember what Churchill said, "If you're going through Hell, KEEP GOING." So many people decide to sit down and wallow in the dark places but just keep taking one step after the other and you'll be out of it eventually.

[atomic sagebrush]

Can you look around and see some all boy families that are interesting and cool? There are a LOT of all boy families where the sons are super creative or scientists or adventurers.

ONe of my favorites is the writer Joss Whedon's family, he is one of 5 boys and they are all really creative. Bill Murray has 6 sons and who is cooler than that?? Jonas Salk was one of 3 boys and he had 3 sons too. The Leakey family of archaeologists was the mom and dad and 3 sons, they traveled all over Africa digging up old bones. There are TONS of them out there and I have no idea why anyone would pity a person for having an amazing and loved family no matter what their gender makeup is.

[atomic sagebrush]

Somewhere on the site we made a list of all the celeb boy families and girl families too, for moms who are all girl moms and it was great fun!!

[Magical22]

That's a good suggestion, Atomic! This may be shallow in comparison but once I actually made a list of famous all boy moms. Some really glamorous women were on that list like Sophia Loren and Audrey Heburn. Shakira is one of my favorite singers and she just had her second boy. Gwen Stefani has 3 gorgeous boys and she is a fashion icon.
I was very sensitive to comments during pregnancy and post partum but I have developed a flippant attitude towards anyone who has anything negative to say. I also am choosing to be positive (although I have my days). But that was harder to do when those hormones were influencing my feelings.) now that I've come out of the darkness (so to speak) I notice people smiling and admiring my family all the time and no one says anything negative. But "imagine your girl." is something we still hear all the time. Cuz our boys are very cute and they have really long eyelashes lol

Megan fox and Kate Hudson


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[EmileeJane]

Thanks gals! I've been wanting to reply for a couple days but I'm just now finding time.
You're right pink bean, about the empathy toward all boy families. I do often wonder when I see them if their mother had really hoped for a girl. Of course I can empathize with that. So maybe it is more empathy than pity.
I do try to look at famous all boy families and those were all great suggestions! It did make me feel better. All those fashion icon mothers and of course Gwen and Gavin have a ridiculously stylish family of boys who will no doubt leave their mark on the industry's too.
I also appreciated your list atomic. Very distinguished families for different reasons and I needed to hear them all!
I desperately try to spot local all boy moms when I'm out. I love seeing the ones who are put together and their kids are too. Makes me feel proud since I strive to look good and have my boys look good too!
I have been feeling better about a 3rd boy. Yesterday evening when I came home from work my 5 yr old told me how pretty I looked. I had just had my haircut and he must have noticed a difference. It completely melted me! Of course a girl could say this too. It made me think that even though I may not have a daughter who wants to grow up and be like me, I'll have sons who grow up and base their wife or significant other on me. How important it is that I am a good model for when that time comes for them?!?! It felt flattering.
My sound mind has been telling me that it will be alright. My expectations of what I thought having boys meant is already completely different in real life. It's much better. They aren't the misbehaved, dirty, violent creatures I had envisioned at my very first ultrasound almost 6 yrs ago. It makes me feel good about the unknown future we are creating with them. Also that gender itself doesn't determine really anything of what your child may grow into.
Like I said I'm having a good couple of days! Thank you for being there for the highs and lows! ♡♡♡