Jealousy

[babymamaj]

Well I have two sons and we are swaying for a girl. In the 2ww right now. I am sure I ruined my sway anyway but know I could still get a girl without any sway at all. But anyway I just want her so bad. I feel like she is already mine I just don't have her yet. My sister just had her 2nd daughter half an hour ago and I am just so jealous. She is a sweet tiny little gal with dark hair, the baby I have always wanted. She is so incredibly beautiful and I just keep thinking why can't I have that?! Why does my sister (who is also my best friend) get two girls. AND my other best friend just found out she is having a girl too. They both also have a boy. I am just so jealous and angry. I am happy for them of course and they know that. I am not expressing anger or jealousy to them but man it's killing me. I am not even all that excited about my new niece because I am just so jealous it is making me sick. I have sewn her all these beautiful girly things (we already knew she was a girl but seeing her makes it even harder) and it just sucks. Ok it really sucks. I want my baby girl. I need her. I know I will love my boy if I have a third but then I will want to try for another which my husband isn't all that on board with but he would do it for me. I already can't handle two though. How will I handle 3 and then 4 but I need my girl!! How do I deal with this jealousy?!?? I feel like I see girls EVERYWHERE. any store I walk into I immediately see all the adorable girl things. Ugh. And then I feel like shit because there are people out there who just want A BABY and can't have one and I am wishing for a certain gender. I am so incredibly grateful for my boys. But I feel like there isn't anything that can be said or done to make me want a girl less. How do I let it go?! I can't let her go!!

[babymamaj]

I also feel like I am grumpy with my boys. Like I'm in a bad mood and I'm just focusing so much on wanting my girl and feeling angry that I might never get her that I am missing out on them. I hate myself for that. I have so much love for them and they know that but I am grumpy and short with them because of my desire for a girl. I don't wish either of them were girls but I just feel really sad and angry when I think I may never get her.

[covered in blue]

Oh I'm sorry babymamaj! I was in the same situation about 4 months ago. It's incredibly hard when they are new. Things will calm down and you will be OK! Fingers crossed for your own sticky Pink BFP this month! When are u testing? Hugs xx

[EmileeJane]

Oh I am so sorry you are having these feelings. You are not alone. I very much have all the same thoughts and feelings daily. I am 16 wks tomorrow and most of the ladies in my due date group are getting their girls so that is making things seem bleak for me. I too am very impatient with my boys. I'm depressed when I'm home with them and I just need to know what we're having so I can move on and enjoy what I have.
Sorry I don't have advice. I very much understand and it's hard when people around you get what you want. ((Hugs))

[Butterfly Spirit]

I'm so very sorry that you are feeling this way. It's so tough, and I know exactly how you feel. I've felt that way. I have two beautiful boys also and I was longing for the princess that my husband dreamed about a few years before we met. With each ultrasound I had my hopes sky high and I had to grieve a loss of pink each time. I clearly remember tears running down my face with DS#2 US and afterwards I just felt so very defeated as I'd followed The Shettles method to the book. (He's been disproven by the way so don't use his method!) I never thought of myself being a boy mom ever. My hubby's family is mostly filled with girls, not boys. I knew that we had to add some blue to the bunch but it didn't make it any easier. Then I found GD, and I remember swaying wasn't easy at all as I had a very uncooperative DH and I worried that I would never have our baby girl. I even miscarried the month before I conceived her. But It just made my determination stronger! With swaying you just do the very best you can do, and try as hard as you can to be positive. Why do you think you ruined your sway? I didn't sway with diet, I did supplements. I enjoy food way too much to give it up, so I let myself be as positive as I could with the sway plan I felt was right for me. I really think that our thoughts can override a blip in a sway plan, so please don't beat yourself up. I conceived my DD in May of 2012.. there's something about the warmer weather that brings more girls! I was pregnant just this last month and just lost my little one after being prego for almost a month. While I was pregnant I was watching gender reveals on youtube all in the month of April and it seemed that the majority of them were BLUE. I really think that in a couple months to three months from now the majority will be PINK and you will be in that batch! If you aren't prego this time, just do all you can to hold on to positivity. Use visualizations every time you baby dance, or even not when you are baby dancing. Feel the happiness and tell yourself "I'm going to get my DD! I'm going to do all I can to get her!" Find joy in your journey! It's okay to be sad sometimes though.. TTC is such a roller coaster.. from TTC while swaying.. to the 2ww to the pregnancy until we hold our precious babes. If you can't handle your sis's little one that's okay, but I would do it if you can handle it so it can help make your determination even stronger! I hope that you get your sweet PINK dream this month, but if you don't, there's always next month!

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[atomic sagebrush]

I have to admit that is one thing that still gets to me sometimes too - literally all the younger couples I know IRL in their 20's-30's range have 2 kids a boy and a girl like it was as easy as pie. Boom boom done. And I think wow, I had to have 4 boys over 20 years and then do all these hours of work and research for one girl when I'm 42 years old and barely have enough time with her?? Booo!

I couldn't let it go either. I just felt like there was someone out there who needed me. When they put her into my arms I had the biggest sense of recognition - it was like "Oh there you are, I've been waiting for you". I'm not a person who has those types of experiences usually either, but it was just such a strong feeling when I saw her.

[Butterfly Spirit]

I have to admit that is one thing that still gets to me sometimes too - literally all the younger couples I know IRL in their 20's-30's range have 2 kids a boy and a girl like it was as easy as pie. Boom boom done. And I think wow, I had to have 4 boys over 20 years and then do all these hours of work and research for one girl when I'm 42 years old and barely have enough time with her?? Booo!

I couldn't let it go either. I just felt like there was someone out there who needed me. When they put her into my arms I had the biggest sense of recognition - it was like "Oh there you are, I've been waiting for you". I'm not a person who has those types of experiences usually either, but it was just such a strong feeling when I saw her.

Your DD is so lucky to have you Atomic, you are doing so much work to help so many of us achieve our hopes and dreams. I really think you'll be blessed with another DD for it. Swaying and concentrating and staying positive through each moment is absolutely WORTH it BabymommaJ! When I had my DD the nurse placed her on me, she immediately stopped crying and the nurse said "Here, is she still a girl?" tears ran down my face and I just couldn't believe she was mine!

[babymamaj]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It is nice to have a place to unload where I know there will be no judgment. It is such a tricky subject and I really appreciate your support. I will continue to read all of your wise words!

[Dana-Alicia]

Well I just got a message form my best friend with an US pic, showing obvious girly bits and the capture: take a guess Well that one hit me like a ton of bricks! She wanted a girl, she had a girl. She wanted another girl, she had another girl. I was so positive and happy about swaying and ttc soon, but now I feel like I just want to scream and cry. My other best friend is having a girl after 3 boys, no swaying. I'm so happy for her! She deserves it. Not that my other friend doesn't, but it just seems unfair. So I get it, I totally get it. We'll get there though, two steps forward, one step back. I really hope you get your girl in the end!

[covered in blue]

Oh Dana . I'm sorry! Some people are just completely clueless! Why would someone do that? Good luck with your sway! Big hugs xx