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October 14th, 2015, 07:12 PM
#1
jealousy
so here is my story, i have three little boys (4, 3, 15 months), i am having a frozen embryo transfer for my little girl at the end of the month.
i am excited. what i am having a very hard time with is both my sister (who i am really close with ) just found out she was pregnant with a baby girl (the first in our family) when i found out i was so happy that her baby is healthy but could not help feeling gutted and heartbroken, not for her but because i don't have a girl. its the hardest feeling to feel so happy yet so devastated and jealous at the same time. then this morning i just found out my brother and his wife are having a baby girl (they have a 2 year old boy) again i was so happy for them but heartbroken that i don't have my little girl yet. it is a very strange feeling, as they knew how badly i want a girl, so when they announced it they were trying to not act excited as to not hurt my feelings. i just keep thinking why everyone around me is having girls.
please does anyone have tips on staying positive and not having these feelings of envy. it is the last thing i want to feel right now. it just feels like i am in grade school and the last person being picked to be on a sports team. i just want to feel happy! i feel like nobody can relate to me in my family. there is something so specific about having all one gender.
anyways, i am so hopeful and happy that i could be pregnant with a baby girl soon. so keep your fingers crossed for us. i needed somewhere to vent, so thank you for listening.
xo
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October 14th, 2015, 09:43 PM
#2
Swaying Advice Coach
keeping my fingers crossed for you!
I have worked hard on getting over GD over my life but to this very day, it still bugs me that literally. every. single. person. I know in real life popped out a boy and a girl or a girl and a boy within the span of a few years without an ounce of thought, effort, and seemingly little to no gender desire, and then they're like all "tee hee, totally done, suck on some Disneyland pics". And just like you say I am totally happy for them, it's not that, it's just why not ME. Instead I have 4 boys over 20 years and had to do years of research and invent my own fricking diet to get one measly girl at 42 years old when I barely have enough lifespan left to enjoy her. :/
You're not alone with those feelings of envy - we totally understand. I wish you the best of luck with your little frosty!
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October 14th, 2015, 10:11 PM
#3
IVF Advice Coach
I think many of us can relate. Hang in there.
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October 15th, 2015, 10:41 PM
#4
There with u! It takes me forever to get pregnant my boys are 2yrs apart & with this new baby is 4yrs apart (pregnant now don't know sex yet) but I envy my sis in law happy for my brother tho she can get pregnant like a bunny (fast) 5kids 3boys 2 girls & im dying for my little girl as well (praying this is it)
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October 15th, 2015, 10:52 PM
#5
Dream Vet
I try to remind myself how much I value my relationship with my favorite aunt and then try to recreate that relationship with my nieces. It usually helps. Congrats on your nieces!
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2001,
2/2002,
2003,
DS3 2004,
2/2005,
5/2005,
2006
Tubal Reversal 2015 =
9/2015-8/2018
IVF Nov 2018 = 8 Retrieved, 6 Fertilized, 3 Blasts,
2 XX!!
FET 5 Mar 2019: 1st beta: 131.4, 2nd beta: 730, 3rd beta: 2274! born 11/9/19!
FET #2 10 Dec 2020: 1st beta: 454, 2nd beta: 1048, 3rd beta: 6696! Due Date: Aug 28
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October 16th, 2015, 08:36 AM
#6
Dream Vet
You're so not alone. I'm pregnant with ds 5, like atomic over a 20 years span. I figured the odds HAD to be in my favour sooner or later buy apparently not. Me being on a wait list for a xx embryo is saving my life. Sounds so "first world problem" but seriously - I couldn't breathe, and was feeling some pretty unpleasant feelings - none of which though are silly, or stupid or wrong. Just sad that we have to go through it. I have a Facebook friend who has brought a daughter into this world - after between her and dh had 5 or 6 boys (the oldest is adopted, and 4 are his from a previous then 2 boys together) and I have to scroll over the countless photos of her and posts talking how happy she is to have a daughter. Also a UK friend who swayed (she did shettles and is convinced it worked) and she told me to do it so now I have to deal with her questions too...
Anyways moral of the story is we get it. I get you. Keep focused on your transfer and I'll be rooting you on! I can't wait to see you get her and do some pink shopping!!!
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Mom to 4
with one
cooking Due Apr 19/16
Going HT for
end of 2016, early 2017
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October 16th, 2015, 09:23 AM
#7
Me too!
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October 17th, 2015, 12:04 AM
#8
Originally Posted by
Gabby24
There with u! It takes me forever to get pregnant my boys are 2yrs apart & with this new baby is 4yrs apart (pregnant now don't know sex yet) but I envy my sis in law happy for my brother tho she can get pregnant like a bunny (fast) 5kids 3boys 2 girls & im dying for my little girl as well (praying this is it)
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ill pray for you!! i know it can all be so upsetting. congrats on your little one! xo
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October 17th, 2015, 12:08 AM
#9
Originally Posted by
Hitmebabyonemoretime
You're so not alone. I'm pregnant with ds 5, like atomic over a 20 years span. I figured the odds HAD to be in my favour sooner or later buy apparently not. Me being on a wait list for a xx embryo is saving my life. Sounds so "first world problem" but seriously - I couldn't breathe, and was feeling some pretty unpleasant feelings - none of which though are silly, or stupid or wrong. Just sad that we have to go through it. I have a Facebook friend who has brought a daughter into this world - after between her and dh had 5 or 6 boys (the oldest is adopted, and 4 are his from a previous then 2 boys together) and I have to scroll over the countless photos of her and posts talking how happy she is to have a daughter. Also a UK friend who swayed (she did shettles and is convinced it worked) and she told me to do it so now I have to deal with her questions too...
Anyways moral of the story is we get it. I get you. Keep focused on your transfer and I'll be rooting you on! I can't wait to see you get her and do some pink shopping!!!
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congrats on your baby. i understand the feeling of not being able to breath. i pray you get your little xx embryo and sweet baby girl. when i was pregnant with # 3 all i could think about was doing HT next time. so i know where you are coming from. good luck and thanks for the prayers.
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October 17th, 2015, 12:10 AM
#10
Originally Posted by
Hitmebabyonemoretime
You're so not alone. I'm pregnant with ds 5, like atomic over a 20 years span. I figured the odds HAD to be in my favour sooner or later buy apparently not. Me being on a wait list for a xx embryo is saving my life. Sounds so "first world problem" but seriously - I couldn't breathe, and was feeling some pretty unpleasant feelings - none of which though are silly, or stupid or wrong. Just sad that we have to go through it. I have a Facebook friend who has brought a daughter into this world - after between her and dh had 5 or 6 boys (the oldest is adopted, and 4 are his from a previous then 2 boys together) and I have to scroll over the countless photos of her and posts talking how happy she is to have a daughter. Also a UK friend who swayed (she did shettles and is convinced it worked) and she told me to do it so now I have to deal with her questions too...
Anyways moral of the story is we get it. I get you. Keep focused on your transfer and I'll be rooting you on! I can't wait to see you get her and do some pink shopping!!!
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oh yes and i also decided if i get my baby girl, i will forever be so sensitive about what i say and do about having a baby girl. people who have mixed genders, can be soooo insensitive about the things they say. it makes me sad daily. so i made a vow to always be very careful.
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Hey, thanks Atomic for your reassuring message. I’m feeling a little better health wise although the thrush medication wasn’t helpful at all, I think it actually made things worse…?! Of more...
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