Oy with the pigeon pairs already....

[Beau82]

Just when I'm starting to feel sort of ok with having only boys, someone else announces they will be having a baby opposite gender of their first. Gah! Just now, it was DH's cousin who had a girl first and will have her second before the girl turns 2. So that alone should sway girl, but nope! She's' having a boy. A girl I went to high school with married a guy who had 2 girls from a previous relationship. Their first together was a girl so it appeared that maybe they would just have all girls. She just had her second which was (say it with me!) a boy!
I never wanted a pp at all. I actually always wanted a boy-heavy family with just one girl thrown in the mix. But it irks me to high heaven when EVERYONE around me gets a pp without even thinking twice about it. It just happens for them. Come on universe, you're killing me!!

It hurts worse lately b/c DH is still adamant that we're done having babies. I just need to stay away from Facebook altogether. If it's not a gender announcement, it's a pregnancy announcement or newborn photos.

[lindz]

I was looking up stats the other day and it said if your first is a girl, you have a 54% chance of having a boy for your second. If your first is a boy, you have a 50% chance of having a girl so an equal chance of either gender instead of having an advantage like girl moms. So unfair! It just makes me wonder why couldn't I have a girl first?! Then I'd most likely have a boy next, my own pigeon pair! It seems like all my friends that had girls first are now having boys and being two and done. I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant and it's killing me not knowing if it will be another boy. I just want to be one of the lucky ones! Facebook kills me, especially since so many of those moms would say we'd be "happy with either gender", great give them two boys and the universe can send me my girl!


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[Throwaway_panther]

Having a second before the first turns 2 is a girl sway? That seems a stretch considering the statistics of pigeon pairs, and the slightly greater likelihood of having a boy after a girl...

That said, I feel this, especially when EVERYONE in my husband's family has a boy-girl pigeon pair. I'd like to think statistics are on my side, but I'm already depressed about our next one being a girl instead of boy, and we're not even trying yet...

The theory behind why a boy or girl might come next based on statistics and how a mother's diet might change after the first makes sense, but then I perceive so many who seem to just luck out regardless, and then stop because they got "one of each." And here I want more than 2 regardless, but couldn't bear the pressure of the third by not having a boy with my second...

If only we could switch zygotes, eh?

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[Kittybear]

Nearly everyone I know has a PP. I can literally count the single gender families on 1 hand. I would never change either of my little guys for the world but sometimes the GD does make it feel like I must be the punchline of some cosmic joke that I don't really find funny :/

I KNOW it is all just coincidence.... But still, it doesn't half hurt/ make me sigh sometimes.

Sending hugs, you are not alone ladies xxx

[foxtrotmama]

Anyone with a mixed family gets to me. :/ All girls or one girl doesn't bother me much though. But all of my friends have girls, in fact everyone we hang out with regularly has a girl younger than my DS2, and that really gets to me.

[netti02]

Pink_bean i agree with you. Older pp don't appeal to me at all. I have 5 boys and they are the greatest of friends (that like to argue here and there 😂 ) but im hoping this continues when they get older.


Sometimes i look at other large families and they got the perfect mix 2 boys and 2 girls and im like whyyyyy. my mum was one of them

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[lindz]

My SIL had a girl, boy, girl, boy! So jealous! Not only do they have both genders but the boys get a brother, the girls get a sister and they're all close in age too. If I had a guarantee of that, I'd probably have 4 children


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[Throwaway_panther]

My SIL had a girl, boy, girl, boy! So jealous! Not only do they have both genders but the boys get a brother, the girls get a sister and they're all close in age too. If I had a guarantee of that, I'd probably have 4 children


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100%.

Ultimately it's hard to predict how sibs end up too. I'm close with both my sisters, while my husband -- part of a BBBG family -- is only close with one bro and hates his sister. But then my mom only had her brother, so they were close, and his daughters are like extended siblings to me.

I hate saying it, but I think the external pressure to have both really weighs on me that only exacerbates my existing GD.

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[netti02]

I agree tp. Its like this little chart i seen floating around facebook. If you have a child you need to have another. If its the pp perfect, if its 2 of the same gender you need to try for an opposite and then it goes on to 4 'get some birth control' and 5 'you want your own tv show' but it definitely sums up the pressures particularly when just starting your family and everyone expects a pp or if you have 2 of the same gender they expect the 3rd to be the opposite. Its mostly small talk when people mention things but still.

Ive also had people tell me i need to have a girl and a son is your son until he gets a wife crap. Im hoping with 5 boys one of them will shop with me. Maybe instead of a shopping trip i have a monthly date with my boys to the movies. No point in expecting them to shop girlie with me ill have to get on their page and try paintball, bowling etc 😀

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[purple]

I was part of a pigeon pair for the first 15 months of my life so I'm happy my parents then had another girl as although I get along with my brother pretty well I am much closer with my sister.

I think a PP is more perfect for parents than the kids. I know a lot of people who weren't so happy being in a PP and don't have great relationships with their sibling.

Having BBGG or GGBB would probably be the optimum pattern but even then the kids personalities may clash so you can't guarantee they will all be friends.