Destined to mother a certain "gender" ???

[Lissastick]

Does anyone think that? And I don't mean the feeling that we get when we feel like we are out of control, because obviously there are things we can do to sway...

I'm talking about the feeling that no matter what we actually want - that the Universe has plans for us that don't match up sometimes! I feel like what tends to be right for me in my life are the things that come easy.
Conceiving my son came SO easy. In every single way. My lifestyle, I've come to find is extremely boy friendly. So is my husband's! And my son was conceived with 2 easy cycles!
I also have a strange statistic looming in the background with my family...

My husband is a scientist (an astro-physicist) and these men are more likely to have lots of...BOYS! His colleague, in his field and has THREE BOYS! I realize that the mother has some influence, but that's kind of my point. I naturally have a boy friendly way of eating and living. Eating often, taking supplements (I feel SO much better when I do!), strength training (I have a bad back and building muscle, especially in my core is totally necessary) and the fact that I am a recovering anorexic / bulimic has all pushed me toward a naturally comfortable boy friendly lifestyle. I have become a vegetarian since conceiving my son, which I know favors girls, but, I think even with that, I will never conceive a girl - unless it's with the fluke 20 something ( or less?) % chance that happens when you get opposite of what you try to sway.

I am starting to think that because living a boy lifestyle is so healthy and comfortable for me - I shouldn't fight it!!! I should take it as a sign from the Universe that I am a prime housing unit for a little boy! Hahah!

I won't lie and say that I don't deeply desire to have a daughter...because I do...
Maybe I am just saying that I don't really know what is BEST for me. That maybe only something larger knows what I truly need.

Anyone else feel this way?!!?!?

[Beau82]

I do and I don't. I definitely felt that way after I found out my fourth was a boy. I was sure that I just wasn't meant to have girl and that I'm just supposed to raise boys. However, after finding this site I don't feel that way anymore. There is just a lot of science to it. Now there is of course, a certain amount of luck involved for sure. What else could account for all of the pigeon pairs you see around?
Maybe if I do get pregnant with a fifth and find out that it is a fifth boy for me, even after swaying, I may feel more like this. That it's just the universe's way of telling me that I'm just too good at being a boy mom, lol.

Only you know what's best for you. If the girl-friendly lifestyle and LE diet is too much and feels too foreign for you, then maybe you should drop it. Like I said, there is always an element of luck. Reading the sways here will tell you that. There are plenty of women with seemingly perfect sways and they still get an opposite. Swaying is not an exact science obviously. And just b/c you have one boy does not mean you are more set for boys. It's totally possible that simply having a boy first has you set up to have a girl next. Do what you feel is right in your heart of hearts.

Not sure if that completely answers your question but it's what came out when I started typing so there you go lol

[Erin514]

Yes, I feel this way sometimes. I always thought I was "meant" to be a girl mom. I pictured myself with a house full of girls like I grew up with. But then, two little boys later, I've kind of accepted that even one daughter might never happen for me.

Now that I know more about swaying, I see how boy friendly my lifestyle was, and even though I've made a lot of changes they really don't feel natural to me at all. I feel like my instincts are so strongly geared towards boy friendly habits (hobbit-style snacking, work-out preferences, competitive nature), I don't really know how successful my sway can be in overcoming that. I'm kind of okay with it, if the universe gives me a third boy I'll accept it, but I'm still hoping swaying will work. At least I can try! And you know, you can only do as much as you're comfortable with. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[XXforhubby]

I always assumed I would have girls or a mixed gendered family. In part, because I fear(ed) having a girl. I don't have a good relationship with my mom. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and a narcissist. Needless to say, I did not have a great childhood.

I led a classic girl lifestyle my whole life. It wasn't until I met and married my husband that all of my habits changed. I'm now back to how I used to be, and hopefully the weight loss will continue.

I do think that my personality lends itself to boys. Although, for some reason, little girls always gravitate to me.

I hope that if I am fortunate enough to get pregnant again, that I am able to give my husband a girl. But then again, we make beautiful boys who are a true delight to behold . Another one will be welcome, for sure!!




DS1, DS2 , & DS3
One last pink sway 2016
My Ovulation Chart

[fknonl1ne]

I lead a mostly boy life, wanted only boys, currently have two girls.

[Complex Emotions]

Great post Lissastick! I think about this frequently.

I used to feel fated to a life of loneliness. During my twenties I struggled with intimacy and dating so I thought I'd never get to have a baby no matter what I did. My intuition seemed iron-clad but now I know it was totally wrong. Once I finally met the right guy everything came together beautifully and we got pregnant soon after getting married.

Currently I'm most at peace with a belief that both genders are possible for everyone and there's just no way to truly understand your individual odds. Whatever happens is just part of an insanely complex orchestra of biology and chance. You might be able to influence it to some degree, but there's no way to control it. (High Tech is a different animal, one that after careful reflection I'm choosing not to pursue.)

I've been swaying for girl for over seven months. I'd hoped to be pregnant by now. It hasn't been easy, but I hope that at least knowing I did what I could will help me accept our family as complete even if we never do have a daughter.

I'm not sure, but I'd like to think I'm opening my heart more and more to the possibility of a second boy. That said, tonight I'm feeling tender. I follow celebrity baby gossip more than I should and I just found out that Alanis Morrisette had a baby girl. I'm happy for her and I loved her music when I was young. It's just that I'd gotten comfortable thinking of her as a fellow boy mom. Now she appears to have the family I've so deeply wanted and still hope to have. I don't feel jealously per se, but I'm tender hearted about it.

[Throwaway_panther]

I feel this way mostly because of coming from an all girl family where I was heavily abused for it and being surrounded by immigrant family and in-laws who value boys so strongly (and I want boys desperately).

Ultimately I know there's no greater force swaying for me, but it's still scary to think about swaying and failing. If it helps you, we have virtually identical backgrounds and I got a girl -- I just relapsed into my ED before conception :/

I do feel I'm a poster child for a boy mom getting a girl though, so take hope from that too. My personality, competitiveness, DTD pattern and heavy weight lifting all point boy -- but I also did tons of cardio and ate pretty much nothing on top of alcohol and caffeine

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[atomic sagebrush]

I have a couple of different takes on this.

Firstly is yes, it's nice to embrace the idea that whatever will be will be and that you will accept that and be ok no matter what. That is a good thing. BUT, my other take on this is that I have seen a lot of people take this approach because they don't want to sway (which is totally cool) either because it's uncomfortable or because they're scared of trying and then having it not work out. I think that it is a "mess with your head" reaction in many cases where people think this way, don't sway, and then invariably get an opposite. And again I want to stress that it's fine not to sway and it's fine to have acceptance of another boy (I was thrilled to my core when my 2nd son was born, I know it's absolutely possible to be very happy with 2 boys!) But I want everyone to be really, truly, totally sure that it is an informed decision they are making and not because swaying is messing with their heads.

It isn't just swaying that does this. Anything that causes a feeling of discomfort can make a person stop pursuing things that matter a lot to them. I really want to lose weight and get into shape like I was before I had my last 3 kids, but I still find that I make excuses to not do those things. I will often justify it and think "well I need this nutrition to build muscle" or whatever but it's because in the moment I just don't want the discomfort, yk??

Re astrophysicists - what you need to understand is that the mother is still important to the equation. I know you mentioned that but it was kind of dismissively. But men who are astrophysicists tend to marry driven women who are probably highly educated themselves (women who are highly educated have more boys and this has been demonstrated in studies) and are careful about their overall health and what they put into their bodies prior to pregnancy. So it may not necessarily be a situation where you tell yourself "well, my husband just HAS to make boys because, science" when in reality it is still within your control to some extent.

[Beau82]

Haha, I just came across a study stating that engineers tend to have more sons. Guess what my husband is?? Ugh, did not need to read that. Although, in thinking about a lot of the men my husband works with, I would say it's pretty equal in the children they all have. Quite a few don't have any children but there are a lot that have daughters as well as sons. So that makes me feel better.

[Throwaway_panther]

Haha, I just came across a study stating that engineers tend to have more sons. Guess what my husband is?? Ugh, did not need to read that. Although, in thinking about a lot of the men my husband works with, I would say it's pretty equal in the children they all have. Quite a few don't have any children but there are a lot that have daughters as well as sons. So that makes me feel better.

My husband is an ME! We have a daughter! ;P

Though you guys are giving me more hope for a boy!

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