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October 26th, 2016, 04:59 PM
#1
Want to be happy? Have two daughters
Has anyone seen this article before? Want to be happy? have two daughters - Telegraph It's an older article from 2011. Apparently having two girls is the easiest combination of children. I was hoping to at least read that pigeon pairs had a difficult time, but apparently it's the second easiest combo, figures! I know it really depends on your individual children, but still kind of interesting to see what the overall trend is. Surprised to see that 4 girls is the hardest to deal with. Interested to hear everyone's thoughts on this. My parents had just my twin sister and I, and I think overall they had a pretty easy time. We got along well, had a lot of the same interests, and we were pretty well behaved. I was sad to read that having two boys is a great thing when they're younger, but parents find they often don't confide in them when they're older
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October 27th, 2016, 12:12 AM
#2
It's hard to say because we all only know our own experiences. I'm glad to see three or four of one sex was viewed more favorably than combinations of the same number of children. There's so much pressure to have both sexes but the world would be a poorer place without all-boy or all-girl families. It's a unique experience of its own!
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October 27th, 2016, 01:22 AM
#3
This is interesting. There probably are valid generalities here, but overall it must depend way, way more on whatever random combination of specific individuals make-up the family.
Maybe two girls are more often easier for the parents, but I must say that when I was little I struggled so intensely with jealousy in my relationship with my sister. We love each other now, but we are still distant. I dreamt of having a daughter, but I always had the mindset that if my first child were to be a girl, than I would never have another child because I was afraid of mothering a sister-sister relationship.
From what I’ve observed in the people I know, the only-child boys seem to face the most difficulties and struggles as adults, especially in maintaining relationships with other people. I’ve gotten the impression that being an only child is a worse thing for a boy than it is for a girl.
Last edited by Complex Emotions; October 27th, 2016 at 01:26 AM.
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October 27th, 2016, 05:01 AM
#4
This is very interesting, going from the best combo (2 girls) to the worse (4 girls), maybe there's more sibling rivalry with the more girls u have??
I grew up in a pigeon pair and we fought a lot, but also played together a lot. We're not so close now. I was always jealous of my friends with a sister similar age, it looked fun, like a bestie for life.. But that's looking in from the outside, every family is different. Nice to see the boy combos higher up on the list then some of the mixed.
2014
2016
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October 27th, 2016, 09:33 AM
#5
Moderator
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October 27th, 2016, 06:21 PM
#6
Swaying Advice Coach
I think that when we're looking for reasons to be unhappy, they are always out there.
The people who do "research" into stuff like this have their own agendas and let their own personal worldviews affect the results. None of the people who participated in this research had any other knowledge or experience other than their own so I personally think this is a rather nonsensical finding. What they're really saying is that parents of certain gender combinations gave particular replies on a personality inventory. Maybe parents of 2 girls lie more about their happiness LOL. Maybe people with 2 boys "keep it real".
Maybe "winding each other up" may be annoying when kids are small but gives them necessary life skills (this is one of the reasons I love the 2 boy combo - I think they NEED that). I was an only child till I was 11 years old and while I know I was never a speck of trouble for my parents, I really lacked life skills in areas of sticking up for myself and conflict resolution.
I personally think "easiness" is not the way to judge one's success or failure as a parent. All of us would rather have our kids be "difficult" and be better prepared for life, than to be "easy" and live in an attic like Emily Dickinson or something.
My sons confide in me all the time even into adulthood. It's all about the kids themselves and their personalities.
Last edited by atomic sagebrush; October 27th, 2016 at 06:36 PM.
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October 28th, 2016, 12:41 AM
#7
Well said atomic!!! My oldest is not the easiest of children (well he is 2 ) my mum, God love her, says he has 'spark'.. I like to think he will be a bit of a go-getter as an adult if I can nurture it right!!!
2014
2016
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October 28th, 2016, 02:51 AM
#8
Dream Vet
To be fair, I haven't read the article - I chose not to as I don't need to trigger my GD.
I know my 2 boys are very 'highly spirited', esp. number 1. I also know my husband was/ is EXACTLY the same, and despite/because of this he is still the most awesome person ever I know so if they turn out like him, that is no bad thing.
I know my parents struggle with my 2 boys as I am an only child so their experience was different than mine (mostly I was no trouble - well in my opinion anyway ) but they and I know that I would never have had just 1 child myself as it is now that I REALLY feel the 'hole' where 'my sibling' should be and I genuinely miss them...
It is all down to personal experience with the individual kids and personally, I often don't think these types of articles/ research are worth the paper they are written on! x
2 beautiful blue eyed boys who both own my
(3 if you count DH!)
2012
2014
How strange it is to miss someone who has never existed... but now you are here, I recognised your beautiful face instantly, my little missing puzzle piece
2017
'No one knows when or how their story ends...' My wonderful mum 2014.
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October 28th, 2016, 06:30 AM
#9
Last thing I needed to read pregnant with my fourth girl when I'm having a very hard time coming to terms with it :'(
2006
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2014 and expecting my 2nd sway opposite
due 10/04/2017
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October 28th, 2016, 09:30 AM
#10
IVF Advice Coach
Originally Posted by
baby2016baby
Last thing I needed to read pregnant with my fourth girl when I'm having a very hard time coming to terms with it :'(
No statistic from an old study defines who you are or can tell you what your family dynamic will be. I grew up with a 4 girl family that had a dad that was an old NBA star. They were a wonderful family and are all super close. It does matter how the parents raise the kids. Be present. It matters. The best thing we can do is show up for our kids. The rest, we will figure out as we go but as a mom of 3 daughters, I can tell you that they are all so different and into so many things, I don't feel left out of boy things at all. When you finally move out of the baby phase, the having kids phase and can stop focusing on babies, it helps. It just does. When you are going through it, you think EVERYONE cares or has an opinion on the genders of your kids but they really don't. Nobody really cares about anyone else's family dynamics. You may think they do but they are just dealing with their own.
You will be ok. Your kids will have an awesome childhood and when they are adults, there are four of them to surround themselves with family when you and your husband are gone one day. THAT is an accomplishment and a gift.
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Healthy baby girl :)