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November 17th, 2017, 12:23 AM
#11
Sorry I know this is an older thread but- One of the first things my husband said when we found out we were having another boy was “no one is going to be excited for us now.” And I really think people would be more excited if we were pregnant with a girl and like it would be ok we were having a 4th if it was a girl but because it’s a boy, nope- Should have stopped.
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November 19th, 2017, 01:25 PM
#12
Swaying Advice Coach
When your new little guy gets here it is all going to make sense and be worthwhile Deb. This I can promise you.
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November 21st, 2017, 08:45 AM
#13
Dream User
I am relieved to have found this forum because it makes me feel much more normal and understood.
I have been the only girl in the family my whole life. I always wanted a sister and then a daughter. I have a 14 year age gap between ds2 and ds3. Three grandparents made really negative remarks about me having another boy, it really upset me but everyone loves him now he's here, he's an absolute delight and I think he's a surprise I had never expected. My dh was also convinced he was a girl which made it much worse at the time.
Although it's better, I still can't talk about it much. I went for the blood test the other day and the woman asked me whether I had boys or girls, she then said "aw bless you" and that she would probably have another boy so won't bother?! When I got outside I burst into tears and I felt so bad for my ds3 who I was carrying that I cried even more!
It's a natural way to feel but once that bundle was in my arms after a bit of a worrying birth it honestly never came into it again.
Lots of love xxx
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November 21st, 2017, 08:48 AM
#14
Dream User
I am relieved to have found this forum because it makes me feel much more normal and understood.
I have been the only girl in the family my whole life. I always wanted a sister and then a daughter. I have a 14 year age gap between ds2 and ds3. Three grandparents made really negative remarks about me having another boy, it really upset me but everyone loves him now he's here, he's an absolute delight and I think he's a surprise I had never expected. My dh was also convinced he was a girl which made it much worse at the time.
Although it's better, I still can't talk about it much. I went for the blood test the other day and the woman asked me whether I had boys or girls, she then said "aw bless you" and that she would probably have another boy so won't bother?! When I got outside I burst into tears and I felt so bad for my ds3 who I was carrying that I cried even more! I'm not disappointed in having another boy, it was the idea of having a girl I was grieving over.
It's a natural way to feel but once that bundle was in my arms after a bit of a worrying birth it honestly never came into it again.
Lots of love xxx
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November 21st, 2017, 03:07 PM
#15
Swaying Advice Coach
Aww Telia you sound much like me - i had 13 years between DS 2 and 3 and when I heard he was a boy I just felt like "my uterus was only a few days from retirement and now I have to do it all again for another boy??" LOL
But yes my 3rd and 4th boy are hugely wonderful, surprising delights and everyone adores them. It is not like the way people imagine it will be.
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November 22nd, 2017, 02:59 AM
#16
Dream User
Yes that's exactly how I felt. I didn't know about this forum at the time or even gender disappointment, I went to a very dark and sad place for a bit after the scan, I'd never encountered those feelings before. I had even decided previously to not even have any more children!
And here I am now doing all this!
You're right though- it's not how you think it will be. Our extra boys are like wonderful added bonuses we might not have expected.
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November 22nd, 2017, 05:35 AM
#17
Sister in law is the only person who knows about the pregnancy so far...
Well she just text me saying she hopes it a girl because girls stuff is so much cuter etcetc
We need a girl in the family blah blah
Great, haven't even had the 12 week scan and it's started
Dreading telling people as I'm so convinced it's a boy
Maybe I should wait until I've found out so can just say yes it's a boy! Rather than get the hoping for a girl comments! X
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November 22nd, 2017, 10:07 AM
#18
Dream User
Ah, yes these comments certainly don't help. I had these too from multiple family members. My sister in law said the other day that she wanted a boy and got one and then she wanted a girl and got one so now she's expecting again she doesn't mind (I'm sure it will be a girl) I thought well how lovely for her!
I know that when we try again I won't tell anyone until after the scan because I felt pressured and like people were watching and waiting, plus the comments. It can add stress for you and baby. But of course you do what is right for you. Lots of love to you and little bean xx
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Healthy baby girl :)