Will you keep going til you get your DG??

[Plum3]

I have always wanted three kids but I always saw myself with at least one of each gender. DH has always said we would only ever have two kids. When I was pregnant with DD2 I really cherished the pregnancy because I thought it would be my last. I was sad when we were told we were having another daughter but not sad for me, for DH. He wanted to bring a son into this world and raise him differently to how he had been raised. I was sad that I would never be able to give him that chance. When DD2 was about 12 months old he told me he wanted another baby. And I did ask him did he want another baby or did he want a son? To this day he tells me he wants another baby but I know that if it was guaranteed that this next baby was a girl then he would not want another one. I worry so much about having another girl. Not because I don't want another girl but because I will feel so sad for DH. I know he will love another child regardless of their gender but I worry that he has his hopes so high that we will get a boy. And if we do have another girl what's to say he won't want to try again for a boy? We joke about it all the time and say that this will be our last but there has never been a definite 'no' to number 4. After all, he was always adamant about only having two children.

So, yes B, I do think we (or more so DH) are having another baby in the hope of it being a boy. But, I don't feel guilty about it at all. I love my two daughters and they are part of me now. I want them and I want a son. If things don't turn out that way then we will deal with it. I think I would rather be disappointed about not having a son than regretful that I didn't try to have one. I could live with that.

[littlemisswilko]

me and my dp have always wanted at least 4 children regardless of genders but i honestly dont think we will stop unitll we have our DD the only problem for us is that i have already had to c-section previously and there is always the risk when having more. We may consider going high tech if we have another boy but we will just have to see when the time comes!

[zanacal]

We wouldn't be having a 4th if it weren't for me wanting to try for a girl - that said, I now feel at peace because I know I tried everything we could and we definitely won't be having a 5th!

[Flava]

bec-same here! Im so sure DH only said yes because of a hope for a boy! But me too so can't blame him...

[Zivic-Bubac]

No way.
Here are the reasons; I'm 39 and I want to be done already, DH wants only 2 and I'm already pushing it with 3rd, not enough space & money, only 1 car....
If I get 3rd girl I guess I'll just be bitter and disappointed for the rest of my life LOL!

[KnockYourBallsOff]

Yes and no. We wanted a big family of (4) children originally. AFter alot of loss of family after marriage, we want a larger family and I think we'll have 5. Now....if we get to 5 and still keep on...who knows. Even if I have a girl next, I think we'd still have a fifth and vice versa.

I don't want any of my kids to feel like they were clutter along the way while I was trying for a diff. gender.

[maybeoneday]

I don't think I had a preconceived idea on how many children I wanted. My mum had huge problems having me and my brother, so for me I was so scared I wouldn't be able to have any. That fortunately was not the case!

When I was pregnant with DS2, I was convinced he was a girl. My pregnancy was so different with him and in my head, I was going to have one of each as that is the family dynamics I grew up in. I honestly can't say I would have stopped at 2 had DS been a girl as I was never in that position, but I suspect I would have gone on to have a third (just with a bit less gender pressure!).

I am now embracing having a third child and while a girl would be my dream come true, I think I would handle it being a boy much better than I handled DS2 being a boy as it was such a shock. I will honestly be able to say I tried and every baby is here for a reason.

With regards to number 4, lets see how we get on with 3 first...........

[shouldihope?]

We would not have tried for #4 if we had a girl previously. Three was always our max, but I convinced DH to try one more time. Sometimes I think I am crazy. Just praying for no GD this time if things don't turn out the way we dreamed.

[Lilian78]

I think I would've kept going within reason ... Can't imagine I would've ever had more than 5 or 6. Having less kids was part of how I sold HT to DH . But I think it's a win-win if you're willing to keep trying--no one ever regrets having more.

[ThroughWithBlue]

And separately, if you got your DG, did you heal from GD? I just wonder if even if I had a son after 3 daughters if part of me still would be bitter that I had to have 4 kids to get him, and go to such lengths (neither HT nor adoption are easy roads, whereas we get pg very easily) to have him.

I COMPLETELY 100% agree with this. I feel the same way, I still think if I ever did get lucky enough to have a daughter that I would be resentful that it wasn't just handed to me like it is to some people. I feel like I'd still be mad that I have 2 sons (that sounds SO horrible, i love my 2 boys more than life but I never wanted any boys). Either way, I wouldn't have my "dream". That chance is dead and I think that's what pisses me off and fuels my GD the most.
Will I keep going til i get my DG? Yes, if I had it my way. My husband doesn't want many more kids though. He wanted 2, but he knows how badly I want a daughter and we were NOT trying for our #2, when our first was born he said I had 2 more chances and he's holding to that since I never had an opportunity to try once yet. I had always wanted 3 children though, I love my kids and even if I had a DD I think I would want as many as my DH would. I wouldn't mind having the chaos of a house full.