New Here & Need some advice!

[2 lil pinks]

Hi there! I am new here and need to get some things off my chest & maybe a bit of advice I am the mom to 2DD whom I love ferociously! However, I do dream of wanting a DS, not only for me DH, but me just as much (if not more). Well after what I would call a mild sway (eating cereal everyday, bananas, very limited dairy, using baking soda prior to BD, "optimal" boy positions) I am currently preggers w/#3. I didn't chart at all, as I am VERY blessed to fall pg easily. This time I got EWCM early that am, we BD late that evening, nothing after that as DH left town on work, so it def was that one time...anyways....

Problem is: I am not enjoying it at all. I am fixated and terrified it will be another DD. I have done literally every gender test, OWT, looked in eyes for the veins, etc. It is ridiculous & it is consuming me! I have 100% convinced myself it is a girl. What the heck is wrong w/me? Why can't I just accept the things I cannot change or have control over?

DH does not want to find out gender because he's worried that if it is dd3 i will be depressed the remaining 20 weeks, and if by the grace of God it is DS1 that it will be anti-climactic at birth. He says"god will give us the family we need, we need to just focus on a healthy baby". I know this! I do! But I am terrified of even a moment of dissapointment at birth. I even am now thinking that maybe I will find out without him and keep it secret, but don't know if it will eat me alive either way it goes!

Any thoughts?

[nks798]

maybe you can talk to your husband about it and find out but later in the pregnancy?

[nuthinbutpink]

I agree with your DH. I would wait and if you decide now not to find out perhaps you can stop focusing on it do much. If it is a boy, how fun will that be?! And, if it is a girl, I've been there and if you do find out now it is a girl, you'll be sad and it is very difficult to focus on the baby at all. I can say from experience, I fixated on number 4 from that point forward and did not enjoy her. That's a shame and I will forever be disappointed in myself for that. My DD3 turned out to have genetic issues that will affect her(and me) for the rest of our lives so I am being paid back in spades what I didn't early on. It is nothing we could have ever known and a random chance thing that took 4 years to diagnose.

So, my advice as a mom of 3 DD is to just take a step back, try to focus on this baby and you have to know that what will be will be. Healthy is really what is important and we all say it but you cannot imagine the significance of that passing remark until something terrible happens and it is all you ever wish for them but they will never have it.

If it is a DD, only time will ease what you are feeling but I promise you will feel better. My DD3 is the light of our lives. We would truly be in darkness without her. She has something significant in store for her life, I can just feel it when I am with her and I hope I'm lucky enough to go along for the ride with her. Boy or girl, your child will teach you something, love you unconditionally and be a little piece of you that walks this earth after you are gone one day. Try not to lose sight of that.

I know it is a hard place to be when you want something do badly as we all do but I hope it all works put for you.

[tough boys]

I have to say that when i was pg with ds#3 it was worse not knowing. After I found out and cried about it for a little bit, things looked up. I was relieved to know and ended up getting somewhat excited about it. I thought I would be depressed the whole way through but I think if I would have not found out and found out when he came it would have ruined the birth and bonding with the sadness of knowing he was a boy. I'm glad that I had the time to prepare and get excited.

[girlmom]

just wanted to say good luck. im finally having a boy after 7 girls and i couldn't be happier my sway failed this time.