How did you know when you wanted to have the next child?

[Loveychoc]

To be honest, i didn't know where to write this post! DH and I have been discussing about second child. Our first child, a DS is 18 months old now and if we're to ttc this year or next year, it seems like a 'just right' gap between the two children. HOwever, i've had bad GD with my first pregnancy, as I wanted to have a girl (so did DH) LOL... so to be frank, I am so SCARED TO DEATH if I ever fall pregnant because:

- not having desired gender (I find it hard to sway, diet wise)
- I am still exhausted from raising a baby!Lacking of sleep, etc has taken its toll on me
- We're thinking of upgrading our house (financial factor as well!), as our current place isn't enough to accomodate a 4-member family lol..
- afraid that DS isn't ready to welcome another baby (as he's still such a baby himself!!)

Having said that, I still would love to give DS a sibling...and many of my due date buddies back then from a couple of years ago are now expecting their second ones.... so in your (honest) opinion, If i ever want to postpone it, would it be too long if I wait for DS to start school (ie when he's around 4 or 5?). We're aiming for 3-4 kids though, but I know time is running out if I keep postponing.(i'll be hitting 30 soon!).

[Butterfly Spirit]

Let me tell you.. I used to want one of each. But in my opinion, you shouldn't be deathly terrified of TTC! Your son.. would LOVE a baby brother!!! I seriously, if I could take baby "B pie" back, and have a little princess in his place.. I wouldn't for the world!!! My beautiful sons, although they fight, just ADORE each other!! They are exactly 18 months apart! Years ago I said to myself before I got married that I wanted my kids 18 months apart. And ironically..I conceived DS #2 while DS #1 was BFing (once to twice a day) at 10 months of age. So when baby B came, my son was just the perfect age to welcome him home. Now baby B just turned 2 I am REALLY hoping to conceive soon because although they are hard to handle with such a young gap I just love it. My sister and I are 7 years apart and in my opinion don't have that much in common and aren't as close as I think we could be if she were younger. So If I were you, I would just TTC now. Good gap.. GOOD GAP ! ! !

[fivebabies]

Baby 1 and 2 are 21 months apart. That was hard for me. I felt guilty that I didn't let baby #1 be a baby for very long. I cried sometimes apologizing to him (while he slept) that I didn't let him have the time he deserved to be my baby. Would never do that again! (You think you are tired now?...lol)

Baby 2 and 3 are 3 yrs 10 months apart. This was a great gap. Kid #2 had plenty of time with mom and being the baby, was potty trained and it was a VERY easy transition into 3 kids.

Baby 3 and 4 were 3 yrs 9 months apart....again, had plenty of time with kid #3 as a baby, was potty trained etc. And very easy to go from 3 to 4 kids.

I really love taking in every minute with each child while they are young. It goes sooooooooooo fast!!! Life is short.

I think that 3 years apart is the perfect number....for us at least. But looks like we will have almost 4 yrs apart with the next one again. And that's fine too.

Good luck on your decision!!!