Ultrasound woes. Ugh!

[Lilac♥]

So we have our 20 week ultrasound scheduled for Valentine's Day, which is less than 8 days away now. And I'm totally dreading it after this last Friday night. You see I've been working really hard on finding ways to make it special and to be excited about it to take away the GD factor if it is a girl. I was feeling pretty good and excited all last week, like I really couldn't wait. I have a plan where we would do the envelope thing and go somewhere private and special to find out. Then this Friday my DH had the night off work so we finally had a chance to talk about stuff. I confided in him that I'm not excited at all about this pregnancy, and I don't even know why I decided to do it. He told me he'll be excited for both of us, since he's even more excited about this pregnancy than any of the others. Which really surprised me because he never talks about it or seems interested when I talk about baby names or stuff we need to buy or anything. He said he has been ever since the ultrasound at 13 weeks. Because when he saw the baby he really felt it was finally our boy. Even though I showed him the nub right after and explained how it was flat and that means girl. Since then I've had about 90% girl guesses on the nub shot I have. I immediately felt crushed when he said that he was excited because he thinks it's a boy. I said "yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's a girl." And he said "yeah, but you've thought all the others were boys and they were all girls, so that means this is probably a boy" I asked if he would still be excited about this baby if it does turn out to be a girl, he admitted he wouldn't be as excited anymore then. So now I don't even want to find out like ever, or actually I want to find out without him and not tell him. Because I know I need the next 20 weeks to get used to the idea of either a boy or a girl. But I want my DH to be excited finally about one of my pregnancies. And now I feel really bad knowing I'm not going to be the only one really let down if it is a girl. Just the look on his face when we found out DD4 was a girl, it really crushed me. Now this is going to be so much worse! To make everything even worse than that, people we know have started commenting about me being pregnant and asking if we know yet if we are having a boy finally. I really want to hide now for forever unless it is a boy. I've been thinking, when people ask after we find out, that we should just tell them "It's going to be a surprise," even if we do know. Because technically that wouldn't be lying, since it is going to be a surprise for everyone else besides us. And it would save me from all the rude comments or looks. But that means only my DH and I can know, we can't even tell our girls because they will blab. I won't be able to decorate a nursery or get out anything gender specific. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused about everything, and I only really have a week to figure all of this out.

FYI- I don't know how many of you are on Momma Central too, but I posted this on there as well.

[atomic sagebrush]

Lilac, I'm so sorry. It's so much harder when other people are involved!

Honestly, if I were ever to have another baby I would not bring my husband to the ultrasound. He doesn't care about the gender so I can only disappoint him.

I think it's a good idea to tell people that it's going to be a surprise. Why do they need to know anyway??

[skrimpy]

I found out with this baby and have had really rough GD... DH was fine with me telling everyone that it is going to be a surprise, though. That really helps me, a lot. (DH will actually tell most people we know and aren't sharing; I'm fine with that, too)

It was really, really, REALLY hard for me at first - we found out just before Christmas and it hurt so much for weeks. I spent tons of time looking at sway info thinking about "the next baby" because it was the only thing that really helped. But now we are starting childbirth prep review and I'm being consistent with my prenatal yoga (even with 4 kids running around), listening to my Hypnobabies tracks, etc. and just doing all that prep for birth really helps a lot and I am starting to look forward to seeing her

[Lilian78]

Seems to me that you definitely need to know--I don't think anyone else does, maybe not even your husband . . . do you think he'd be happy with a delivery room surprise? As for everyone else, I really don't think you need to tell. And you might think you would definitely tell if it is a boy, but you might be surprised--I was actually reluctant to tell about #3 because I didn't like comments suggesting that a girl would be better than another boy. Wishing you lots of luck in any event!!

[nuthinbutpink]

Seems to me that you definitely need to know--I don't think anyone else does, maybe not even your husband . . . do you think he'd be happy with a delivery room surprise? As for everyone else, I really don't think you need to tell. And you might think you would definitely tell if it is a boy, but you might be surprised--I was actually reluctant to tell about #3 because I didn't like comments suggesting that a girl would be better than another boy. Wishing you lots of luck in any event!!

Totally agree about the telling when you get your dream gender. In a weird way, it was still difficult.

[xnicolax]

I dont really know what to say other than good luck. I really hope this is your boy. Th nub theory isn't everything, look at sunbeam

[Lilac♥]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I'm so ready to get this over with now. I'm tired of the rollercoaster of emotions. Only 6 more days. I'm going to tell my husband it's up to him whether he wants to find out or not, but I think he does. If I did find out on my own I'm afraid my emotions would give it away though.

I agree with not telling others even if it is a boy. I don't want to get the "you finally got a boy" or "are you done now that you got a boy" comments any more than I want to get the "wow, a 5th girl" or "are you going to try again" comments. But I know even if I put them off until the birth, I'll still get them then instead. I know I'm super sensitive and hormonal right now, but who knows if it might end up being worse after the birth.

[skrimpy]

For me I think it will be better after the birth to tell people. Our situation is that we are having a girl after 3 boys (I did NOT want a DD). But everybody would be carrying on about it - how happy I must be and how we "finally" got a girl after all those boys.

Anyways, I don't think I can deal with all of that right now. But after my baby is born and in my arms and I am totally head over heels for her, I think I will be able to brush off what they say better. Then she will be my *baby* and not the *girl* that everyone said we "had to have."

Plus like you I am super emotional right now being pg so I don't want to deal with anybody's comments! I am so glad DH agreed to us keeping it to ourselves. In fact, I take a bit of satisfaction in telling my mom and MIL that they have to wait til the baby is born to know, hehehehe.

[atomic sagebrush]

Only a few more days now! Thinking of you! ♥

[ELP]

I hope your ultrasound comes around quickly for you. I agreee that you should definately tell people irl that its staying a surprise, definatelly!! No matter what gender baby your growing in there people will have annoying comments in the dozens so save yourself the irritation of llistening to them for as long as you can, with a bit of luck another mum in the playground will announce their pregnancy soon and the misery vultures will have someone new to peck at. Good luck on hearing blue,either way just look forward to seeing your gorgeous little baby again xxx