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April 22nd, 2011, 10:26 PM #1
What to say to a friend expecting DS3?
I have a close friend who recently found out she is expecting DS3 (definitely her last baby). I find myself feeling both guilty and relieved that we went HT for our #3 and despite that I remember my GD all too clearly I just don't know what to say except "congratulations your boys are so sweet and this one will be too." is that ok to say and is there something else I could or should say? Part of me wants to tell her about my GD in case she is feeling that (doesn't everyone?). I just don't know what to do or say.
(MS/IVF/GSN SET OHW, Dr. Potter @ HRC, cycled in 2010)
My blog: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/blog...57-ilovemykids
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April 22nd, 2011, 10:37 PM #2Moderator
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I would def say congratulations when
I had my third girl i found it awful when p
Would feel the need to leave out the congrats but mention something smart
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April 22nd, 2011, 11:01 PM #3IVF Advice Coach
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You know what they say, all good things come in threes! That was my Xmas card one year!
Mom to
and my IVF/PGD
It's better to look back on life and say: "I can't believe I did that" than to look back and say "I wish I did that".
New to IVF/PGD for Family Balancing? Read this- Understanding IVF/PGD- a HT Guide for those New to the IVF/PGD Process
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April 23rd, 2011, 12:06 AM #4
I was in a similar situation. I wouldn't bring up GD, sometimes people get defensive even though they may be going through it. I think what you wrote is perfect
MS/PGD/IVF OHW
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April 23rd, 2011, 01:21 AM #5
I found it best when I heard positive things such as "awww, 3 boys will be so cute/fun/etc.!" I think despite the fact I felt a little bad about having a 3rd ds I would have been totally put off if someone said something to me about GD - especially if they had both genders and mentioned it. I realize not all people would feel that way but I know I would. Don't assume she's feeling GD though. I do know people who prefer all girls/all boys. When I found out I was having a 3rd ds I knew someone who found out she was expecting a girl after 2 boys and was slightly bummed because she wanted 3 boys saying I had her "dream family". You just never know!
5 Beautiful Boys! ages 1-11
4 early losses
8/2011
11/2011
12/2013
5/2014
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April 23rd, 2011, 02:48 AM #6
I agree with 4bl4p, I'm swaying for girl this time after 2 boys and definitely wouldn't want someone to mention GD. One of my worst fears about the whole thing is people feeling sorry for me if I have 3 boys because above all else I WILL feel lucky to have 3 healthy children (fx) and will just want to get on with it at that point. I think the comment she mentioned is exactly what I would like to hear and I might walk away thinking someone actually thinks it's nice to have 3 of the same gender.
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April 23rd, 2011, 09:15 AM #7
That's true, unless you knew for sure she was aiming for a girl. My dream family , ever since I was a little girls were 3 boys, and I had 2 ladies on IG telling me 2 girls are all they ever wanted....
For example, if I were expecting girl #3, "congratulations" would be all that I could handle....m/c 2001
2003
2007
2012 failed sway
2014 my surprise baby
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April 23rd, 2011, 12:05 PM #8
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May 14th, 2011, 04:12 PM #9
Things I loved to hear-
Aww three boys- they will always have one another
3 boys- you will be so protected
Just an aww that's great - simple but nice
I loved hearing ( this may just be me) how I would be raising 3 "men" - -3 men at my dinner table for Sunday dinner still makes me smile
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May 16th, 2011, 05:38 PM #10
I had someone say to me once "Three boy families make the BEST, most well-adjusted families" and then proceeded to tell me about their friend or sibling, etc. and how close they all were. I really found comfort in hearing that.
3 's & baby on the 3rd try of MS/IVF/PGD at GIVF
Results 1 to 10 of 11
So happy for you Treens, congratulations Sent from my SM-A225F using Tapatalk
Healthy baby girl :)