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  1. #1
    Big Dreamer
    ilovemykids's Avatar
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    What to say to a friend expecting DS3?

    I have a close friend who recently found out she is expecting DS3 (definitely her last baby). I find myself feeling both guilty and relieved that we went HT for our #3 and despite that I remember my GD all too clearly I just don't know what to say except "congratulations your boys are so sweet and this one will be too." is that ok to say and is there something else I could or should say? Part of me wants to tell her about my GD in case she is feeling that (doesn't everyone?). I just don't know what to do or say.
    (MS/IVF/GSN SET OHW, Dr. Potter @ HRC, cycled in 2010)

    My blog: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/blog...57-ilovemykids

  2. #2
    Moderator
    TTC5's Avatar
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    I would def say congratulations when
    I had my third girl i found it awful when p
    Would feel the need to leave out the congrats but mention something smart
    Fathers Day baby!


    Busy Mummy of 5 now working from home: www.oz.scentsy.com.au

  3. #3
    IVF Advice Coach
    nuthinbutpink's Avatar
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    You know what they say, all good things come in threes! That was my Xmas card one year!
    Mom to

    and my IVF/PGD

    It's better to look back on life and say: "I can't believe I did that" than to look back and say "I wish I did that".

    New to IVF/PGD for Family Balancing? Read this- Understanding IVF/PGD- a HT Guide for those New to the IVF/PGD Process

    Need a Natural Swaying Plan? Naturally sway for a boy or a girl- Personalized Swaying Plans

    Become a Dream Member to access the private forums

  4. #4
    Moderator
    Liv's Avatar
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    I was in a similar situation. I wouldn't bring up GD, sometimes people get defensive even though they may be going through it. I think what you wrote is perfect

    MS/PGD/IVF OHW

  5. #5
    Dreamer
    4BlueLooking4Pink's Avatar
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    I found it best when I heard positive things such as "awww, 3 boys will be so cute/fun/etc.!" I think despite the fact I felt a little bad about having a 3rd ds I would have been totally put off if someone said something to me about GD - especially if they had both genders and mentioned it. I realize not all people would feel that way but I know I would. Don't assume she's feeling GD though. I do know people who prefer all girls/all boys. When I found out I was having a 3rd ds I knew someone who found out she was expecting a girl after 2 boys and was slightly bummed because she wanted 3 boys saying I had her "dream family". You just never know!
    5 Beautiful Boys! ages 1-11

    4 early losses
    8/2011
    11/2011
    12/2013
    5/2014

  6. #6
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    I agree with 4bl4p, I'm swaying for girl this time after 2 boys and definitely wouldn't want someone to mention GD. One of my worst fears about the whole thing is people feeling sorry for me if I have 3 boys because above all else I WILL feel lucky to have 3 healthy children (fx) and will just want to get on with it at that point. I think the comment she mentioned is exactly what I would like to hear and I might walk away thinking someone actually thinks it's nice to have 3 of the same gender.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4BlueLooking4Pink View Post
    Don't assume she's feeling GD though. I do know people who prefer all girls/all boys. When I found out I was having a 3rd ds I knew someone who found out she was expecting a girl after 2 boys and was slightly bummed because she wanted 3 boys saying I had her "dream family". You just never know!
    That's true, unless you knew for sure she was aiming for a girl. My dream family , ever since I was a little girls were 3 boys, and I had 2 ladies on IG telling me 2 girls are all they ever wanted....

    For example, if I were expecting girl #3, "congratulations" would be all that I could handle....
    m/c 2001
    2003
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    2012 failed sway
    2014 my surprise baby

  8. #8
    Big Dreamer
    NYFamilyOfFiveRoses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink View Post
    You know what they say, all good things come in threes! That was my Xmas card one year!
    I love this. This is definately going to be something I will say.
    2003 2006 May 2010 (My VBA2C baby)

  9. #9
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    Things I loved to hear-
    Aww three boys- they will always have one another
    3 boys- you will be so protected
    Just an aww that's great - simple but nice

    I loved hearing ( this may just be me) how I would be raising 3 "men" - -3 men at my dinner table for Sunday dinner still makes me smile

  10. #10
    Dreamer

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    I had someone say to me once "Three boy families make the BEST, most well-adjusted families" and then proceeded to tell me about their friend or sibling, etc. and how close they all were. I really found comfort in hearing that.
    3 's & baby on the 3rd try of MS/IVF/PGD at GIVF

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