Being happy VS having GD

[TexasMommy]

When I was a child & pictured my "ideal" family-- I always wanted 4 kids; 2 boys & 2 girls. Well now that im actually married & have kids, I want 3. I have 2 little girls, & am currently almost 7wks with #3. To say I want a boy is an understatement. Everyone we tell im pregnant, they say things like: "ill bet youll get 3 girls just because you want a boy so bad, hahahaa!", or (talking to my husband) "you gonna end up being like (name of someone of that 3 girls they know)"...really??! We dont KNOW that this baby is a boy or girl yet...so let go of the 3 girls jokes. Im an only child, so I dont have a ton of neices & nephews or anything to buy for...ive never really got to shop for little boy things..i want a little boy of my own for so many reasons. If I have a 3rd girl will I be upset?? Ill be upset at the fact that ill never have a son (#3 is our last boy or girl)I love my little girls more than anything is this whole world, & i feel like a little brother will complete our family. I went into a store the other day & saw 2 adorable little boy onesies...yes i bought them. I couldnt resist. When i brought them home hubby said I shouldnt have because if it turns out to be a girl it would be hard for me....I left the tags on the onesies & if its a girl ill just take them back... when I go into a public place & i see a family with 3 children, 2 older girls & the boy being the youngest...i think well it IS possible to happen. Everyone is always asking me what do i feel like the baby is..& honestly...I FEEL a girl. But i also think its because i cant imagine getting a boy. We'll see tho...we will be able to know in July. Long wait Just take your time & do things when you are comfortable..& dont worry about peoples comments.. i know its hard but SOO many people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut!!! noone thinks about how their little comments affect everyone else. I hope things get better for you.

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

When I was a child & pictured my "ideal" family-- I always wanted 4 kids; 2 boys & 2 girls. Well now that im actually married & have kids, I want 3. I have 2 little girls, & am currently almost 7wks with #3. To say I want a boy is an understatement. Everyone we tell im pregnant, they say things like: "ill bet youll get 3 girls just because you want a boy so bad, hahahaa!", or (talking to my husband) "you gonna end up being like (name of someone of that 3 girls they know)"...really??! We dont KNOW that this baby is a boy or girl yet...so let go of the 3 girls jokes. Im an only child, so I dont have a ton of neices & nephews or anything to buy for...ive never really got to shop for little boy things..i want a little boy of my own for so many reasons. If I have a 3rd girl will I be upset?? Ill be upset at the fact that ill never have a son (#3 is our last boy or girl)I love my little girls more than anything is this whole world, & i feel like a little brother will complete our family. I went into a store the other day & saw 2 adorable little boy onesies...yes i bought them. I couldnt resist. When i brought them home hubby said I shouldnt have because if it turns out to be a girl it would be hard for me....I left the tags on the onesies & if its a girl ill just take them back... when I go into a public place & i see a family with 3 children, 2 older girls & the boy being the youngest...i think well it IS possible to happen. Everyone is always asking me what do i feel like the baby is..& honestly...I FEEL a girl. But i also think its because i cant imagine getting a boy. We'll see tho...we will be able to know in July. Long wait Just take your time & do things when you are comfortable..& dont worry about peoples comments.. i know its hard but SOO many people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut!!! noone thinks about how their little comments affect everyone else. I hope things get better for you.

Thanks so much, and good luck to you.

I think when I get my last 10 pounds of baby weight off, at least I will feel good about myself and my body. I mean it is only 10 pounds but with #1 and #2 I got it off a little quicker. I was on antidepresants that did not allow me to loose weight. I am off them for 3 months so the pounds should start to come off now.

Oh and I had the doctors approval to go off them.

I love my girls so much, but it is just very hard.

Some days I am so down in the dumps and some days I am numb from it. It depends.

Thanks.

[1pinkwish]

I think pictures are deceptive, especially the FB kind. LOL I'm sure a lot of people thought the same thing about me and my FB pics and posts before my DD was born. I have always been proud of all of my children, and definitely show off the good times in the pictures I share with friends. But, deep down, there was always the sadness and longing for a daughter to be in those pictures too.

What I found sort of amazing, is that after my DD was (we didn't find out gender till birth), I had a slew of all boy moms telling me how I "inspired" them to try for another baby and how much they really hope it happens for them. Some just made comments like "living vicariously through you", and before this, we had never had conversations about any type of GD.

So, I really do believe it is MUCH more prevalent than anyone makes on, but it's because when you do show a preference people shame you and treat you like you aren't fit to be a parent!

I hope you do find happiness and pride in your family how it is now though, cause I just adore families with lots of little girls. Making just one girl has really seemed like such incredible luck to me, so I can't fathom how it's possible to make even more than that! That's REALLY lucky in my book!!!

[purplepoet20]

Some people just with-draw from the world... People can smile all they want but deep down inside they may be very depressed!

I find myself daydreaming about what it would have been like to have just one of each gender. And then I hear fighting and come back to life with boys. I will even sit and stir at them like I am not related to them and they are just there playing. I don't know how I would feel if I had another boy, it may be worse. But over time I am sure I will learn to live with what I have. I just hope my depression doesn't affect how I treat my kids.

[boymom]

I have 3 boys and that was never what I would have imagined for me in a million years...but as time goes on gender really does seem to matter less. I will be swaying for a girl soon but I feel perfectly content now to add another boy too. I was very sad in the thought that I would never have a girl and would look at the family makeup of everyone near me. I can't say I don't look at veryone's family anymore but I can say I don't really care about it now.

I think a lot of people that like to say "they didn't care what they had" are talking in hindsight, It's easy for friends/strangers to have a comment on the makeup of a one gender family when they have one of each!

I think if it was less"shameful" out there in the real world more people would prob open up, but I know for me I don't tell anyone because I don't want anyone to think I am anything but perfectly happy not having a daughter, they don't need to know anymore than that. Oh yeh and another thing, if so many people "don't care" what they have and think we should all be grateful for healthy (I mean that goes without saying that we all want healthy) then why do so many people feel the need to make a comment on the gender makeup of our family.

Sorry I feel like I have just hi-jacked your thread

[puppydogstails]

[QUOTE=boymom;30856]

Oh yeh and another thing, if so many people "don't care" what they have and think we should all be grateful for healthy (I mean that goes without saying that we all want healthy) then why do so many people feel the need to make a comment on the gender makeup of our family.

QUOTE] perfectly said

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

[QUOTE=puppydogstails;30857]

Oh yeh and another thing, if so many people "don't care" what they have and think we should all be grateful for healthy (I mean that goes without saying that we all want healthy) then why do so many people feel the need to make a comment on the gender makeup of our family.

QUOTE] perfectly said

Exactly, those are always the people that give me the comments the ones that have both genders and supposedly do not care.

[boymom]

[Amelie]

I know a lot of people who do not care about the GENDER so that's why they don't have GD and I'm sure that's why they don't really care about any comments.

But MOST of the people who don't care about the gender they got boys. I noticed alot of people wanting boys more than girls and especially in my community

the opposite over here, people who did not care got girls, women who tried everything got boys, everybody wants a girl because shopping for clothes is so much nicer, girls take care of their old parents, there was an article in the newspaper about dads recently preferring daughters. made me sooo sad, I am embarrassed not having a girl, instead in have 2 sons and everyone has to comment on that. They give me the advice to make another one cause I must be sad not to have a daughter(and I am very sad).

[Carnelian]

I feel the same. We're actually going to look to adoption now as I can't 100% guarantee a girl for #3 and as bad as it sounds, I'd rather just have my 2 boys then go onto have a third. We had to do IVF with ICSI and our rates at our clinic all seem to favour boys, we have 2 eggs left and I really want to have PGD on them but it doesn't seem possible unless I do another whole new round and we can't really afford it. On top of that I had very bad pregnancies, high bp and premature births so it just seems safer all round. Unfortunately it doesn't mean we'll be chosen but at least I've tried. It's so sad how there's so many of us that seems to want what the other has. I always thought I'd have girls so it seems bizare that I have two boys. They are gorgeous boys and I love them to pieces so don't want to sound ungrateful but I hate it how ALL my friends and families have either one of each or my brother only has one daughter but that was all he wanted. So I really feel like I'm missing out. :-(