Hating GD :(

[Longing4Pink]

I am so glad I found this forum. My GD has been in overdrive the last few days and is becoming all consuming. I have two beautiful boys and we aren't planning on having any more kids but I can't seem to shake the GD I've had since finding out DS#2 was a boy. Adding to my GD I think is the two T1 losses I had between my boys, the first of which I felt very strongly was a girl but was never confirmed. There is always that what if that hangs above my head about the two babies I lost. When we found out DS#2 was a boy I cried for an entire day and felt like the worst person in the world. I had trouble connecting with him while I was pregnant and even kept hoping the ultrasound was wrong and he would be a she. Don't get my wrong, I love him like crazy but I also have days where I wish so badly that he was a girl. I find myself wanting to cry and run away when I see people with little girls or people that have one of each gender. I feel angry, jealous, sad, and a whole mix of it all. I feel ripped off like I should have been able to experience both genders. I know I should be thankful that I have two healthy boys when so many women don't have any children but I am also riddled with this overarching jealousy and pain that seems to be getting worse rather than better. I envy my sister in law for having my niece and getting to dress her up in cute little clothes. I feel like she is more loved and gets more attention because she's a girl. I want to play dress-up, go to ballet class, play with dolls, and the lot. There is only so much cars I can take! DH doesn't get it and it's starting to be a big issue. He thinks I should just get over it and I wish it was that easy but it isn't. I don't know what to do. I'm crying typing this out. I just want to accept what I have and move on. I even asked DH if we could adopt a girl one day and he flat out said no. Help. Will this ever end? How do I cope with it?

[shellbell34]

I have 2 boys and just found out my third is also a boy. I felt the same way as you. My mom said just wait a couple of years and try again, but 4 will be too many. I keep telling myself hopefully god will bless me with granddaughters. Just know you aren't the only one there are a lot of us out there.

[Leokat]

Sorry I don't have any answers, but I'm in the exact same boat as you, and awaiting ds2 who will arrive in 5 weeks time. My GD hasn't really gone away since I found out at 16 weeks that it was another boy, I'm just praying that I bond with him when he is born! I hate thinking if him as second best it seems so unfair on him then I just feel bad and guilty. Not a nice pattern to be in especially when pregnant and probably hormonal. know that feeling of being 'ripped off', seeing other people having girls and feeling mega jealous, wishing it was me that got the girl. I even feel happy if I see others having a baby boy, that's how jealous I get! Scared to try for #3 baby incase I get a 3rd boy.
Anyway, I hope you find a way to cope with it all soon and you are not alone. sending hugs x

[Adia]

Welcome! It helps to find a bunch of ladies who understand, and you have found us!

I really wanted a boy with DD1...divorced her dad and married DH. He and I both really wanted a boy for DD2. Tried a pathetic Shettles sway for DD3 and could barely get through the depression and sadness that haunted me after the antomy scan and the following years. I love DD3 and wouldn't trade her for the world, but I still really want a boy. You certainly aren't alone in your longing.

If you are struggling a lot it may not be a bad idea to see a counselor. I worked with a lady years ago who had 2 boys who were pre-teens. She wanted a GIRL! She had been talking to her husband for YEARS and he was totally opposed to having another baby, adopting, etc. She finally saw a counselor and the counselor helped them come to the agreement to adopt a girl. She was thrilled and happy and loves having a girl.

Maybe some professional help would make the difference for you and between you and DH.
Big hugs, mama!