Disappointed and alone

[dareangel]

I just found out my dreams of mommy's little boy would not happen. Hubby and i already have 3 girls. Through all my pregnancies all I have dreamed of is a little boy. I'm not the frilly girly type. And then I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with a fourth child I hoped and prayed this would finally be the boy I always wanted. The day of the ultrasound I was nervous when they asked if I wanted to know but said yes. Them the tech looked and said the dreaded words "its a girl". I tried to play it off that i was happy but inside i just broke down. When I got home and told hubby he was happy but I'm not. I have been so upset by the whole thing I couldn't even bring myself to discuss names. I told him I simply did not care. I am so disappointed and disconnected from this pregnancy that i don't even try to bond with baby.
I know hubby is trying to understand. But he still points out that I should be happy baby is healthy and I am. But that said I am still dealing with this. Then to add more to it he was asked by my mother in law why I'm not super excited about the baby. I don't talk about the pregnancy and have done nothing to prepare for this at all. It doesn't help that his sister just had a baby girl of her own. So all I hear is how great it will be that they are both girls and can grow up together. I'm sick of pretending I'm happy about this when all I really want to do is cry. And I'm so tired of hearing that "all mommies want girls " .
Sorry its so long. Just needed top finally get some of it off my chest. Its just to much to deal with and noone around me seems to understand.

[Adia]

You have come to the right place. I am just like you except now that I am trying to sway for a boy I can't seem to even get pregnant or stay pregnant.

I can imagine it is much harder that this pregnancy was unexpected. That has to be extra hard.

Your GD is shared here and well understood. I had horrendous GD with DD3 and didn't think I would ever get over it. I haven't really, but things change and change helps. I was able to separate my love for DD3 and my GD, but it took time. I love DD3 dearly but would still love a boy.

Is this your last baby? Possibility of swaying for baby #5? We have great luck with boy sways on Gender Dreaming!

I think its super that your DH is excited! That is good to hear.

A bit of advice, which you may already know, don't mention to anyone you don't trust to be kind that you are having another girl. Strangers and random people in your life can make the worst comments that make GD even worse. Lying is totally acceptable in this case.

Most of us hardened by GD would recommend staying away from the big triggers like Facebook and baby showers for those getting your desired gender...chances are you already know all that.

FWIW I had dreams every time I was prego that I was having a boy and I too have 3 girls...I still dream of having a boy, but so far, no luck.

Hang in there mama, it will get better with time. Big hugs!

[Adia]

And vent away, that is what this forum is for.

[Houseofblue]

BIG HUGS dareangel...I am just like you but have all boys...I had horrible GD with DS3 (actually collapsed on the bathroom floor at the u/s place in hysterics). I'm sorry you didn't hear blue. I am terrified my 4th will be another boy...I just feel like I'll never be lucky enough to have a girl.
Adia gave some great advice...I stay off of FB anyway b/c it's such a GD trigger (so many of my boy mom friends have gone on to have girls)- besides, all it is is people bragging and posting selfies). As for strangers, with DS3 if they asked what I was having I said we weren't finding out until birth- actually, only my mom knew the gender, we told everyone on FB that we were on team green too so we could avoid stupid comments (of course there was still some stupid comments, but we at least didn't get any pity comments).
Big hugs, be kind to yourself. Again, stay off social media, I am so much happier not being on FB, really! And congrats on that beautiful baby girl...I'm super jealous! xo

[Mulberry Smurf]

Like adia says it will get better in time. Plus this baby may not be the frilly girly type too! Just like her mummy. Sorry you didn't hear blue at the scan and that people don't understand your upset. This forum is really supportive and understanding with many people being in your shoes and coming through the other side or working through their gd journey. Hugs for you xx

[dareangel]

And it got worse. After finding this site and actually feeling a little better my mother in law once again got to me. I talked to hubby and we agreed to go gender nuetral for baby as much add possible. So with that in mind we headed to the stores to do some looking. Imagine my surprise when we walk into our home and find my mother and sister in law there. A surprise short to welcome baby... The entire house was decorated out in its a girl banners and balloons. I literally burst into tears. Once i got myself back under control enough to deal with this whole mess i sat through the shower with this strained smile on my face.
And when it came time to open the gifts it was the worst. Before a single present wad touched hubby stated that we were trying to go more nuetral with this one. He even made it sound like it was because he was over run with girly pink. Bless him for that. But it stopped his mother not at all. She insisted that we open the presents which we did. Only to find that it was all all very girly and mostly offers to paint the nursery to match the things they had gotten. Hubby once again told his mother we.wanted nuetral themes and it started a huge fight.
She proceeded to scream at me that i am unnatural and a horrid mother. That i need counseling because no woman should be disappointed in the baby they are having. I'm sitting here now crying I'm my bathroom while hubby cleans up the mess from the so called party. Which both his mother and sister admit was only held because they think I need to be happy with this girl and that I should not even want a boy. To them its unnatural to not want girls.
I thought i was coming to grips with at least some of this but now I just feel worse them ever.

[coocoobananas]

Oh no you are not horrible and shame on them trying to make you feel bad about it!
It seems they may have been trying to make this little baby girl just as special as her sisters but really should have listened to your requests!
I've actually let my sil know that I don't want a shower this time as only 3 friends came to my last (other family too) and I don't want that to happen, like 'oh just another boy' shower. But also I don't want those same people to come and celebrate if its a girl... Just seems wrong to me!

I don't have much advice but I'm sure I'll be in your shoes in October albeit the opposite! The advice that felt good to hear for ds3 though were that my feelings were valid and not wrong and that it's ok to have them. You know you will love her when she is here and picture it no other way but it's so so hard right now, I get it
Maybe with 4 it will fill you to the brim and make the aching tone down... That is what I'm hoping for me too.

Big hugs, it's ok to feel this way, vent away here

[Maybeaboyinthefuture?]

Just want to say that i know excactly how you feel..i swayed for a boy, but are having my fourth girl.. My DH is the one with GD, and he want to go for baby no.5, but not naturally..HT! I dont want to go through more pregnancies..but time will show! Good luck to you, the sisters will have so much pleasure with eachother!