Didnt think I'd ever post here

[Peebell85]

Ok so I have a son, who is love more than life itself, wouldnt trade him for all the girls in the world, but when I found out I was pregnant this time after a good crack at swaying, I really thought I was in with a good chance at a girl.

At my 13 week scan yesterday the sonographer guessed boy - I expected to be happy with either result, but instead my heart sank and I have felt sad since. I'm not sure if I'm sad its a boy, or if I have come to the realisation I've never having a daughter and I'm a boy mum now (we cant afford and dont have room for anymore kids).

I think when I was told boy with my first son, I thought 'thats ok we'll have a girl next time'... But this time its so final.

I'm not worried that I wont love this boy, I cried with relief when I saw he was ok in the scan... Its just gender disappointment is a very odd and unexplainable feeling. I havent really even wanted to talk about it with my husband as I feel shame that I even had a preference to begin with....

Hmmm thanks for reading my whinge.

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

I'm so sorry I have 3 boys and will be TTC a hoping for a girl and I know I will feel those feelings too if it's another boy. I sympathize with you Thoughts and hugs your way!

[Peebell85]

It's a big risk isnt it. I think my disappointment is greater because I swayed, if I was ignorant about swaying I wonder if I would feel this sad.

I stupidly thought I had a good chance at this being a girl and told myself it probably is.

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

HUGE risk I feel like you...some days I wish I hadn't found this site and knew nothing about trying to sway. Again...I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I wish there were magic words to help you feel better, but I, myself, know there is not.

[Peebell85]

Thanks Cherrim, thats very sweet of you to say. I'm not sad he is/might be a boy, I think I'm sad I just dont have a girl... Its a weird thing.

I often think that there must be a life lesson in why we arent able to choose gender (naturally) when having babies... Maybe its teaching us something about ourselves. Thank goodness that love is so unconditional.

The next scan will be good for me either way. The uncertaintly is worse than not knowing at all.

[Peebell85]

Due 4 November but will have a scheduled caesar a week or so earlier.

[3boyswantagirl]

I had really bad GD and cried for a few days after the ultrasound confirmed boy, I kept hoping they were wrong and I felt so guilty for not being overjoyed. Flash forward 2 years and I absolutely love having 3 boys to grow up as brothers, the older boys are so good with the youngest and he follows after them copying everything they do. I wouldn't change it even if it meant never having a daughter. I know this probably doesn't help now and it's little comfort when your grieving the idea of a daughter you may never have but it does get easier. It's definitely not as painful as it used to be and life is full of so much joy with raising children... boys or girls.

[coocoobananas]

I cried after I found out my 2nd was a boy. I didn't realize I would be sad but I was like you and was just planning on 2! I didn't want to do pregnancy again, I get sooo sick. So I just had to think I'll never have a girl and I never thought I wouldn't have one!
I ended up being so sad I did try for number 3 and man did I cry when he was a boy because I swayed too and felt the same, that it wasn't fair. However, I did start to come to terms with it after he was here. When he did arrive I didn't care at all!! But feelings crept back but not nearly as strong mostly because 4 was just out of the question lol! But here I am!!! And yah it will sting if it's a boy but I'll be ok and there will be no 5!

[Peebell85]

I know it will ease, and your words do help, I just need to readjust my thinking. I love my son so much more than I could ever believed was possible and I know ai'll be exactly with our next son. I'm just grieving the daughter we'll never have, bit I'm ok with that. I guess I'm allowed

Thank you all so much for the support lovely ladies.

[hotdogz&boyz]

I was really surprised by my feelings upon finding out my second was a boy as well. I didn't really think I cared (and we were planning more children). But I guess I stupidly assumed we would get "one of each" off the bat. Which is silly, really. But I remember how much I was hoping he was a girl. In fact, even when the tech froze the screen and hubby knew exactly what we were looking at, I still was like "huh, what's that?" I cried that day. I came home and felt really bereft. Like I was somehow losing something that I once had. It was rather strange. But as I adjusted and started getting to know him (as a little being in my belly) and then when I had him...it was absolutely love. Even now, I can't imagine him not being him. He is perfect. Perfect for our family and perfect as himself. Sometimes I am even embarrassed to remember how sad I was when we found out about him. But I realize that it was just like you said...a feeling that isn't about who he was, just what I was hoping for. And I can forgive myself for it. I hope you feel better soon. Your boys will be awesome together. Mine are quite buddies now (who also tend to try and kill each other, but buddies too!)