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October 27th, 2014, 06:49 PM
#1
IVF Advice Coach
Positive stories of dealing with GD- how do you overcome Gender Disappointment?
I think it would be very helpful to create a sticky that speaks to how we have dealt with GD, in any form, and to provide examples of how we are moving beyond it. If you have suffered from GD and are now able to see past it, I know there are members out there that could use some advice right now.
Some questions to answer- Did you figure out why you ended up with GD? Was it outside influence or created by you?
Are you able to move on with your single gender family in a positive light? How do you handle any lingering feelings? Does it get better with time?
Any insight any of you can provide that have struggled with GD but been able to go forward in a positive manner would be greatly appreciated!
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October 31st, 2014, 12:13 AM
#2
I was desperate for a pigeon pair, I had my boy and I just assumed I'd get my girl next, and I had a good crack at swaying. Well my second was a boy and to be honest, the pregnancy instabtly became a drag and I wasnt excited whatsoever. I was worried about having post-natal and not bonding with him. To be brutally honest, I wished I could have gone back to just having an only child.... Well I just had my boy 2 weeks ago and he is a darling and my love for him is exactly how it was with my first, if anything I feel like I've bonded with him more. He is a cuddler and loves mummy snuggles, he melts me. The thought of girl has totally vanished from my mind, I dont even feel a hint of jealousy when I see baby girls. Maybe one day the desire will kick back in, but for now nothing could beat this little darling boy of mine.
Hope this helps someone out there xo
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October 31st, 2014, 01:43 PM
#3
Dream Vet
My DS2 is the same Peebell. He is my saviour in many ways as he was my VBAC baby after a very traumatic and unnecessary c-section. He healed me in so many ways and even tho at times I find myself wishing he could have been a girl, when he looks at me with his baby blues and sweet grin my heart literally stops and my life feels perfect. I made him, I birthed him when they said I couldn't and he will always be that special little baby boy that set the record straight!
2 baby boys blessed
Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
Angel baby Decemeber 23
confirmed
and pregnant again now
Please, please be my little girl!
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November 4th, 2014, 01:37 PM
#4
I really enjoyed reading these posts. I hope I feel the same about dd2 in jan. Right now I have no interest in any of it and just wish if not got pregnant.
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November 11th, 2014, 10:26 AM
#5
Dreamer
when i first learnt it is another boy during gender scan at 16weeks, i broke down into tears for nights. I wish I would turn the clock back so I can try harder on my sway for my dream daughter. Despite the heartache, my GD gone away when I knew that detailed scan was not perfect at 20weeks. Was found out he has thick nuchal fold. After amnio test and come back with all OK, I knew all I wanted was a healthy baby regardless of gender.
Now he is a healthy two yrs toddler. There is never a time I wish he was a her. Instead, I was grateful to god for blessing me with such a sweet son. He is an apple of my eyes. And the strong brotherhoods he had with my DS1 made me feel that I gave my DS1 a true best friend.
5yrs old
3yrs old
waiting for
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November 18th, 2014, 02:26 PM
#6
I think time heals. I believe getting past the creating a family stage when all your friends are having babies and you are sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear if your friends are having your dream family makes it so much harder. There is life past all of this.....remember high school when you thought there was no life outside of the people you were friends with or that ridiculous boyfriend... well we all went on to marry and have a so many wonderful memories and everything that seemed sooo important feels like a distant memory.
Will we have regrets...sure...but that is part of life. We will all get involved in our kids busy lives, our careers will advance, our friends will change, we will travel and then the grandkids will start rolling in and then we will know the true meaning of the miracle of life. We will be so proud and the "opposite" baby will give you the most adorable grandchild you could ever imagine. My mom had three girls and wanted a boy and now has all boy grandchildren...a whole bunch of them. She is having the time of her life surrounded by little boys she never had....she loves their boy humor and marevls at how hard they play and how much they eat. Everyone laughs and celebrates when we announce another boy because life is so filled with surprises that we can't even begin to imagine.
I am still in the thick of it trying for my last baby if I have a third boy I am so afraid to go back to that sad place but do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been trying for my dream for 4 years and since so much time has passed I can feel the healing start to begin so I just know it will be all fine in the end. I hope we all find peace after this time period in our lives.
2008
2010
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November 23rd, 2014, 11:32 PM
#7
Originally Posted by
angel in a pink sky
I think time heals. I believe getting past the creating a family stage when all your friends are having babies and you are sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear if your friends are having your dream family makes it so much harder. There is life past all of this.....remember high school when you thought there was no life outside of the people you were friends with or that ridiculous boyfriend... well we all went on to marry and have a so many wonderful memories and everything that seemed sooo important feels like a distant memory.
Will we have regrets...sure...but that is part of life. We will all get involved in our kids busy lives, our careers will advance, our friends will change, we will travel and then the grandkids will start rolling in and then we will know the true meaning of the miracle of life. We will be so proud and the "opposite" baby will give you the most adorable grandchild you could ever imagine. My mom had three girls and wanted a boy and now has all boy grandchildren...a whole bunch of them. She is having the time of her life surrounded by little boys she never had....she loves their boy humor and marevls at how hard they play and how much they eat. Everyone laughs and celebrates when we announce another boy because life is so filled with surprises that we can't even begin to imagine.
I am still in the thick of it trying for my last baby if I have a third boy I am so afraid to go back to that sad place but do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been trying for my dream for 4 years and since so much time has passed I can feel the healing start to begin so I just know it will be all fine in the end. I hope we all find peace after this time period in our lives.
Such a beautiful and realistic perspective. All the best with your third attempts xx
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November 24th, 2014, 08:57 AM
#8
Originally Posted by
Peebell85
Such a beautiful and realistic perspective. All the best with your third attempts xx
I just transferred back one normal BOY embryo after my 5th cycle. I am in the waiting process now. I have been so beaten up by the whole process and know in my heart after 5 cycles this little boy was meant to be. I would be a big fat liar if I did not admit to moments of sadness but then I picture my three of a kind and get over it. I am ready to move on....I am ready to let it all go and just start enjoying my family.
2008
2010
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November 24th, 2014, 09:48 AM
#9
Dream Vet
angel in a pink sky I wish you all the happiness in the world
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November 24th, 2014, 04:21 PM
#10
Dream Vet
My birth Mother came to visit me on the weekend with her three sons, my half brothers. I was adopted because she was only 19 and wanted me to go to a family who could give me a better life. I have always known and we have a great relationship now and she has gone to have three boys who are now 17, 12 and 10.
OMG spending the day with them all and watching her with them was an amazing eye opener.
Those boys abosolutly adore her! We had so much fun playing and they hug and kiss her ALL the time and love to snuggle her. She is clearly their Queen and light of their lives. It made me feel really great about the future. Even if I don't get my girl, I will have not one, but three men that I made who will adore me.
It warms my heart to think about it and my GD is feeling like it is tucked away at the momment.
DPs sons
21 +
13
11 + our
6
4 year old identical twins!
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