When do you say 'enough is enough' ??

[trifecta]

I wonder if the comments are as bad if you're a mom of two or more girls? It seems like everyone wants boy moms to have girls. Does it go the other way too, or are we just the "unlucky" ones?

(Funny I have to even type that, because I certainly don't feel unlucky with my adorable little guys. People are insane.)

Unfortunately, I think you get the "poor husband" or "teenage girls suck" comments if you have all girls. You're right, people are insane.

[motherofboys]

I think it does go both ways, if you don't have one if each your family isn't perfect (rolls eyes)


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[motherofboys]

You know the more I think about it and go about my life, the more at peace I am with the decision. I was ok when I though ds4 was never going to come along (ttc 2.5 years) with 3 boys. It wasn't even till ds4s pregnancy that it became important to have a girl.
Hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas


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[LacePrincess]

I have no idea to this question I have 2 boys, would go a third to try for a girl but what if it's a boy?? Then I face gender disappointment and a life time of smart comments from everyone about having 3 boys


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I won't lie, we get smarta$$ comments all the time. It's always super annoying to me when I tell people I have 3 kids, they wait expectedly, then I tell them (while sighing to myself) that I have 3 boys, and inevitably I get the comments. It's eye rollingly predictable.

But that's THEIR preconceived notions, not mine. In reality, my boys are absolutely nothing at all like the 'rough and tumble' cliche, and even if they were, there's nothing wrong with that! And now that I have two of my boys in a very serious ballet school, I usually get many envious comments if any, as there are so very few boys that they really stand out.

Personally I've come to realize that I really would be ok with having a fourth (or more) boy. I love my kids and they're all so different from each other!! What I won't love are the comments or looks that come with having a big family these days, but then if other people are judgemental, that's THEIR problem, not mine. I can afford my kids, I raise them to behave well, so really people can bugger off if they have a problem with it!

[LacePrincess]

Oh and here's something else to think about.....

I know that it must be a rarity for most of us boy moms, but it seriously happened to me! Another mom at our ballet school after the Christmas show came up to me and told me her biggest dream was to have 3 boys. She already had two boys, and wanted a third but only if it was a boy!! I was pretty shocked as, I'd never heard of anyone who felt that way before, LOL.

So it was such a weird but really cool feeling to have someone actually envious of me for a change. Quite amazing. I've never met anyone who had two boys and actually was afraid of having a girl before. So yeah, I think a lot of our struggle as boy moms is the judgement we get and the girl bias our society seems to have.

[motherofboys]

I know someone on another site with 3 boys who wants another but is scared to go for it as she wants a 4th boy.
But I have come to realise that it's other people's opinions and pressure that made me want a girl in the first place and then my own obsessiveness ran away with it.
I stayed at a friends over New Years. I took my eldest 2 (it was a 4 hour train journey so didn't think ds4 would cope well as he hates travelling and gets travel sick and ds3 just likes being at home. He has actually asked to 'never go on holiday again' as he doesn't want to spend the night away from home) another friend came with her 2 boys and the friend we stayed with has 2 girls. I really didn't feel at any point (we arrived Wednesday afternoon and stayed till Friday afternoon) that I was missing out or sad that I didn't have something she did or couldn't buy something she can.


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[LacePrincess]

motherofboys, I really agree that there's a big component to my GD of others' expectations.

Like, I want more kids anyways, of either gender. But I feel like I'd be judged worse for wanting to have a fourth child than for wanting to keep going to try for a girl, if that makes sense? I do feel like if I had a fourth boy I'd either get pity for not getting a girl, or get nastiness about popping out so many. The judgement I get as a boy mom is nothing compared to the judgement I will get for having 4+ kids for sure.

Personally I'm most envious right now of baby girls through about preschool. That's when they're usually all done up in bows and pretty dresses. I really don't care much once they hit school age, I think mostly because my own boys do share my interests and are dance kids, so I'm not losing out on anything.

If I have a fourth boy though, he will have the CUTEST WARDROBE EVER. I am sick and tired of our stores having aisles and aisles of petticoated floufy adorable dresses and absolutely NOTHING for baby boys except for a few plaid shirts and jeans. UGH.

[motherofboys]

I know what you mean. There is twice as much on offer for girls than boys.
My boys do share some of my interests but because I'm a tomboy so it's more that I like what they like. There are some things I like they won't go near though.


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[LacePrincess]

I know what you mean. There is twice as much on offer for girls than boys.
My boys do share some of my interests but because I'm a tomboy so it's more that I like what they like. There are some things I like they won't go near though.


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I'm not at all a tomboy, but I liked boy marketed toys the best even as a kid. (I won't say 'boys' toys' because I think gender stereotyping of toys are stupid). My favourite toys are Legos, and of course most kids like those anyways. I always thought Barbie's were pointless.

I loved reading, and all my boys love to read. I'm a Harry Potter fanatic and so are my kids. I grew up dancing ballet, and I've been fortunate that two of my boys are into that too. There's really not much that I enjoy that my kids don't, except for Disney Princess movies, LOL. And even then I can usually make them watch them if the movies are funny.

And only twice as much for girls as boys? LOL I'm envious of you! Around me it's more like 90% girl stuff. Aisles and aisles of girl stuff with a token rack of boy stuff crammed in the back corner like an embarrassment. GRRRR. I will never forget that time I went to buy more baby socks and I couldn't even find SOCKS that weren't girl socks. We're not even talking unisex - every pair at Sears that day were pink or had lace on the cuff. I was so incredibly insulted.

[irishgirl]

Personally i am going to pretend to have an accidental pregnancy to avoid the AWWWh were you trying for a girl? comments. gonna keep it between myself and dh as long as possible before we tell anyone. And certainly not telling a sole the gender until after the birth. We would of course love a girl which is why im on this site. but i havent lost sight of the fact that i have 3 of the most lovable little men ever. My middle child has expressed an interest in all things girly with regards to toys. went frozen and doc mc stuffins mad at xmas!! It was great! I know in my heart another boy would suit our family perfectly, the other 3 are great buddys. We would welcome a boy 100% if our sway doesnt work. When i think of having a daughter i never think about now (apart from the throwing a girl into the mix with 3 lads, tomboy springs to mind)!! i think about things in the future like weddings grandchildren how mothers and daughters are close, that kind of thing. But whos to say i wont have a daughter in law who includes me in their lives and a pile of grandaughters to spoil and hand back!! I know my own father idolized his mother until she died and my husband is close with his. I know i will always be close with my sons and hope that if i dont have a daughter my sons stick around close enough to visit once in a while!! I have made peace with the fact that i probably wont have a girl and have decided this is 100% our last (dh making sure of it!!) So my advice after my ramble would be try and make peace with the what ifs, imagine life with maybe some cool daughter in laws or grand daughters. Think of how proud you will feel when your sons graduate, when they marry, when they do well in life. You can look on knowing you raised a good man xx