Looking for a bit of advice

[JillyBean23]

I'm looking for some advice and am hoping you ladies can help me if you have been in this situation.

I am currently pregnant with our third. We have two daughters at home. We were on the fence about whether we would have a third or not. I had been taking boy friendly supplements and was eating more calories (unfortunately that was because I was nursing) just in case we did decide to go for it then there wouldn't be so many changes at once. I NEVER thought I would get pregnant fast as it took seven months and stopping nursing to get pregnant with her. Well, just as I was starting to feel content with our family of four we found out that we were pregnant (isn't that how it always goes). At one point we actually thought about termination but couldn't go through with it.

Anyways, fast forward and due to Christmas and a two week vacation over new years, I had to have my NT scan at 11 weeks and 6 days (measuring 12 weeks 1 day). My nub shots are quite girly, but the comment on all the sites I posted are 'early but girlie' 'it can still rise'. One person did say 'it's so girlie I don't see it rising.'

Anyways, I think I know in my heart that unfortunately it probably is another girl. What I am torn about now is whether I find out gender and just deal with it now, or I cling to that small bit of hope that the ultrasound was done before the nub rose and it actually is a boy. I'm bitter and upset about this whole situation (getting pregnant when I did, that its probably a boy... really I just hate being pregnant). I don't know if my husband can stand me for another 22 weeks and feel like if I find out it's a boy at least this will all be worth it, but that if I find out officially it's a girl the next 22 weeks will be even worse.

I guess in the end I want to know, for those who did find out they were having their third of the same gender, did you wish that you waited until birth or did you find knowing helped you deal with it before baby came. Regardless this is our last baby, and I honestly NEVER imagined we would be in this situation.

[pink_bean]

You could have the tech write the gender down and find out when you are ready. Some people find out a few weeks before the baby is due so they can prepare. I think inevitably you have to decide what would be the worst case scenario, being disappointed during pregnancy or postpartum. But I do hope this is your boy!

[KidAtHeart]

I had the tech write it for us. I couldn't bear to find out too early (as boy#2, too depressing for 20 weeks), and I didn't want to be in denial, as with boy #3. So we found out with about 7 weeks to go. We also didn't tell anyone we were finding out so that I could have that time to put my happy face on. As it turned out, I got my girl and then we decided to announce.
Good luck! I hope it goes your way!!

[lucky3]

Dont think too much about the nub guessess , those are just guessess.

I have 2 girls at home & i did IVF / PGD to get my boy & when i posted my nub shot all the guess i got was Girl. It was so scary & even though i did IVF/PGD & i knew we put back boy emby those 2 weeks waiting was hell. At 15 weeks he was all boy.

So if you are really worried pls. get a gender scan done & get the confirmation. It is what it is. So if you get a confirmation. you can atleast be prepared rather than worring.

GL i hope u get your boy.

[LilithWiser1979]

DS1 was an "early, but girlie" for us. 11w 6d and the idiot tech told us she was 96% sure it was a girl. At 20 weeks, we saw a very obvious turtle, and he hasn't been shy ever since!

It is best to prepare to hear pink, but only you know when that news would be the easiest to handle. I was more afraid of not bonding with my baby than I was of being depressed all pregnancy, so I found out at 18 weeks with DS2 (and at 11 weeks with DD via Panorama!) to give me the most time possible to process it.

Good luck, whatever you choose. I'll send you some blue dust!

[2blue1pink]

We found out ds3 is coming Monday at 11w5d from the blood tests. For me, knowing sooner than later is better. The more time I had to think about girl things, and think about possibly getting a dd, the harder it would be. As it was, finding out was hard. But I feel like I need as much time as possible to get it together.

Hugs and blue dust to you!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

I am in your boat. I am 22 weeks pregnant with several DDS and just had the tech write it down. I didn't have a nub shot- no US after 8 weeks.

My DH wants the surprise, so I thought I would look and process it, but after a week or so after the US I have been able to find peace with not knowing. I really want a DS, swayed 3x(DD2 was an IG style sway), with a swayed m/c too. I have thought about finding out closer to birth and am having fun with not completely knowing and putting all of my few boy things away. I also try not to think about it solely being a DS. I try to concentrate on DD things, names, clothes, etc. I have found a balance to it.

I do worry about being really sad at birth, but I still have time to think through that.

[SweetLily]

Spicy tuna, I had a DS with my 4th and only wanted a girl as I had 2 ds already. I cried right there in the US room and for 30 more minutes in the lobby, dh didn't even know what to say. he wanted a girl and was disappointed too. I wished at that moment I had not found out--I had not wanted to but he really did, it was his first baby. By the time my little guy was born I was thrilled and the GD really only lasted a couple of days.

With ds 2, they had said via US that he was a girl. It was in shock after his birth, tho when they said he was a boy when he came out, but I wasn't disappointed. It didn't matter then--I was holding my sweetheart that I'd grown for 9 months. I. Just. Didn't. Matter.

With DS 1, my first child, I also really wanted a girl, and was disappointed for that split second before they placed him in my arms. Then it didn't matter either.

*IF* I am blessed enough to have another, I know my heart cries for a girl. So does DH's. But I will not consent to finding out. I don't want to go through the GD before birth and I know at birth, it won't even matter to me.

My heart goes out to you...I think you need to do what feels right to you and not let anyone--including dh--push you into finding out if you don't want to. And if you do, thengo for that and never mind anyone else. I've known couples that only one finds out...hugs

[trifecta]

I found out with mine and would find out again if we had another. I would rather just know and deal with my feelings so they're not hanging over my labor and birth. I also love to decorate.

[JillyBean23]

Thanks everyone for the posts. While I still don't know what I'm going to do it helps to hear other peoples take on it. It's so hard when it seems as though there have been such good results with boy sways, and here I am one of the few who doesn't look to be getting their boy. Just have those moments of 'why me.' There are good days and bad days where one minute I am totally fine with three girls and the next I cannot believe we got ourselves into this situation. I have really convinced myself its a girl so I think I'll be ok, and regardless of the disappointment when I see her face this will all make sense. Gender disappointment/desire is an AWFUL AWFUL thing. I wish everyone could just get what they want. Guess it's one of the few things in life we cannot control. I thank everyone on here for sharing their experiences/advice as it seems that no one ever talks about it in person. I guess I just want this baby to get here so we can move on with our lives. This is the last baby regardless of gender and while we were in our baby making years there was always this 'what if'/'what will the next one be'. Just want to get on with living and working on accepting the cards that we have been dealt and enjoying our girls. I know I don't post a lot but I read a lot and really appreciate everything everyone has to say.