An "unwanted baby"

[atomic sagebrush]

Didn't know that about monkeys, LOL!

yeah and it's not just one kind, either, it's primates - any that have the ability to check, DO.

[atomic sagebrush]

I remember distinctly the first time I really realized that ~I~ could grow up and have a baby someday - that that was a thing that could actually happen to me and probably would. I was 6, and it was a GIRL. I immediately picked out names for "her". This wasn't an idea anyone put into my head, I remember it in a moment of absolute crystal clarity that realization that OMG that is going to totally happen someday. The idea of a boy baby did not even enter my mind. Now obviously that was just a kid's momentary thought process, and I went on to really have a strong desire for a boy for my first child (and just got lucky and got him) but it's just indicative of the idea that this was something that was coming from me and not put into me because I "fear death" or whatever Freudian BS they come up with LOL. My parents were not even screwed up back then, either - that came later.

[trifecta]

I agree that the desire is natural but I definitely think having a fixation is sometimes about other things. I know my GD is all tangled up with my fears about moving on to the next stage of life, going back to work, etc.

[lindz]

While I definitely have the feelings of "I never get what I want" and deal with jealousy towards other people who I feel have the "perfect life", it's just not the major cause of my gender disappointment. You can give all the women with a "perfect life" around me only boys so I no longer can feel like I'm the only one getting slighted, it won't make my feelings of hopelessness of not being able to get a daughter go away. I don't want a daughter because everyone else has one, I want a daughter for my own experience of it. With most things in life, a therapist can push you forward to go after what you desire. You want to get married? Go out on dates, have friends set you up, try and meet someone online. You want a different job? Go back to school, find an internship or volunteer to get experience needed, and apply for jobs. You want a girl? Well there's nothing you can do about it. Just be happy with what life gives you. I'm skeptical a therapist is going to encourage me on the road to going HT, which is how I'm coping with not getting a daughter right now