Boy #4 for us.

[fresas]

Still thinking of you today.

[shouldihope?]

Thank you Halah and Fresas- I started to lose it again today when I was talking about DS4 to someone. Thankfully I was called away and became busy and focused on something else. The busier I am the less focused on things I think. I don't know that avoidance is healthy but I don't have time to be focused on being sad, nor do I want my boys to know. I also find that most people do not understand where I am coming from when I talk about any kind of disappointment. One lady I talked to today looked at me as if I was nuts. Maybe I am? However, I am an open and honest person. Not being honest feels more lonely. Anyway, it is impossible that anyone would believe we did not try for a girl . Everyone that knows me, knows that I want a girl. Now I am faced with that question.... You wanted a girl didn't you?

[fresas]

I was telling my husband about some of the situations on this board and he felt a lot of empathy for your situation. We both want a daughter, but probably will not be able to TTC because we just can't do it financially. However, he said he hoped that the rest of your pregnancy can be peaceful and that DS4 will have an amazing, laid back, and happy demeanor that will be a blessing to the rest of the family.

[shouldihope?]

thanks Fresas. you guys are so sweet. hope you both get to ttc soon. I am still having a tough time imagining my family with 4 boys. Especially the teenage years. it will come with time I hope.

[fresas]

We've been going back and forth about having another because we don't feel financially stable enough to do that. We have kind of put having another in the background for now, but we have to make a final decision soon because we don't want to have more kids too late in our age, plus our oldest is going to be 9.

Anyway, I think a lot of people dread the teenage years because there are some issues, but as long as you and your husband remain open, honest, and encouraging with your kids, I think it can really help avoid some of the bigger issues that plague teenagers. Parenting is a lot of work! I hope that you will find it rewarding with time. Take a day at a time.

[Manhattan]

ShouldIhope

I am hoping that you are in a better place and have adjusted to the knowledge of your 4th son. I have been there. I was not and have never been disappointed with my sons but moreover with the fact that I was not experiencing a daughter. My 4th son is indeed a light as he was the point when I decided that I was going to do IVF/PGD for my daughter. My decision in part was due to the fact that he was such an easy baby and has been such a good little boy that I felt having a fifth would be do-able. Our daughter joined our family this year after an aggressive 4 attempts at high tech. My family is complete. I love my boys so much and they love their sister. We are all happy. However, the journey has not been an easy one and maybe yours won't be either but I pray that you are able to cope with the larger family and that one day your daughter finds her way into your family. Best of luck with this pregnancy and your quest to add XX to those wonderful XYs.

[atomic sagebrush]

thanks Fresas. you guys are so sweet. hope you both get to ttc soon. I am still having a tough time imagining my family with 4 boys. Especially the teenage years. it will come with time I hope.

I just want to put your mind at ease - I have a 16 year old and a 20 year old in addition to my two little boys and they were both very easy as teens. Helped around the house, polite, fun to hang out with - we really have a very nice time together and I wish I could show you guys how nice it can be to have grown (or nearly) adult sons because it's NOT what you imagine it to be at all.

[juffertje2]

Hi.
at this moment i'm pregnant with #4. This one wasn't planned. I already have 3 boys. I had to cope with a huge GD with #3. I can't stop thinking about #4 being a boy aswell. And it scares me. I'm over 17 weeks pregant now and just the idea of having 4 boys.......that was not the way I thought my life would be like! I'm in tears al day again, affraid of the results the ultasound is going to give me...What do I do?

[begonia]

Juffertje2 do you have your scan booked yet? Surely you must be close to knowing?

I think when you're a mess before you even know for sure it's worth finding out gender before birth; if you aren't even allowing yourself to hope for a girl at this point then IMO there's no reason to postpone the news. Might as well either be thrilled with the news, or sad for good reason.

Anyhow ... I do understand that this isn't what you saw for yourself. That's where I am as well; I thought I'd have all boys and am having DD3 ... not a single son. So I get it. It is HARD. I hope that you hear DD and don't have to worry about how to get over DS4 Keep us posted.

[shouldihope?]

Manhattan- I would have love to go HT. DH refused. He was completely against it.

Atomic- thanks for your input. I do worry about the future but that maybe because it is constant fighting, wrestling and temper tantrums right now.

Juffertje- I agree with begonia. I think you should have the tech write it down and put it in an envelope and you can look at it when your ready and tell people when you are ready. Maybe look at it before a time period where you don't have to go be with people and pretend to be happy. At least for me that was impossible. I can not fake it or act like I am happy when I am not. I wear my heart on my sleeve and so it would be obvious that I was feigning excitement. Hope you hear pink.