Tired of feeling like a freak show sometimes...

[fun family]

I have four boys and when we go out, it attracts a lot of attention. People run over to count how many boys I have, ask where the girls are, and cran their necks to peek into the stroller to see if the baby is also a boy. What also adds to the public's curiosity is that my older two boys are twins, and are identical, so its obvious they are twins. They look exactly alike. So I get questions about that too. Most questions/comments I do'nt mind too much. They get old, but they are ok. And some people actually make nice comments, like other moms of all boys, or sometimes old ladies will comment that my boys are very well-behaved, cute, or helpful. My twins (age 8) are extremely helpful and emotionally mature, and I see people staring all the time as they watch them help take care of and play their younger brothers.

But some people just have a bunch of really rude, mean, stupid comments to say, making me feel like my family is some sort of all boy freak show. That is hard for me.

But today I googled "mom of four boys" and found a bunch of blogs of moms with four boys. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. And best of all, I found a blog of a mom with five boys, who has TWO sets of identical twins. I can't imagine how much attention she gets. But again, it made me feel like our family is normal too.

[Flava]

Believe me it's the same with 4girls! But you know what I only felt this way when DD4 was a small baby. Like everyone is watching us ect. Now she is 2 and I don't even think of others in the store or anywhere. Really that feeling is just gone .I don't think ppl are staring at us talking about us or anything like that! Maybe it was just in my head all along?
I do get stupid comments sometimes but really not much and I just tell them we are so lucky and so they shut up lol.

[nuthinbutpink]

I would try to change your point of view! My kids have heard do many comments they are very aware of others staring when we go somewhere but they love it. I actually think it boosts their self confidence!

If you do have a girl, the comments will not stop. The comments just change and the new ones are actually more annoying but I just don't care anymore.

Focus on the positive comments about how well-behaved they are! Stupid people have no idea that they are in fact stupid so I just pity them.

[fun family]

I do try to focus on the positive comments. And the positive ones are there and are wonderful. But its hard when I get the bad ones. I get some really really rude ones and they just come out of nowhere sometimes. Having 4 of the same gender, all boys, including twins...somehow, that makes people say really rude things. I have had my boys called a "curse" and also someone once said to me that "I must have done something bad in another life, so God punished me with all boys." To hear someone say that my precious children who I love dearly are actually a horrible punishment....wow, that hurts. It doesn't matter that I of course know its not true. It still hurt me. I know its so rediculous I should be able to laugh it off, but it hurts to have our family treated like a scourge by so many people.

I know I shoudl just grow a thick skin and be tough. I know many people admire my kids for their talents and sweet nature. I know old ladies watch us because its amusing to watch four boys interact--and they usually interact quitely nicely. I often get a lot of smiles from Grandmas and other moms...esp ones who have boys too. I don't mind the nice stares, and the curious comments...like you said, some of the comments and attention are really fun. A sweet, sincere compliment can make my day. When I had just the twin babies, we got SO much fun/nice attention wherever we went. And we still get that kind of good attention but the downright mean people--they hurt.

[girlmom]

its the same with 5 girls in tow. i actually went off on a little old lady in the store. i heard her comment about "all those girls." and she kept staring at us. then i heard, "its so selfish to raise a child in this day and age." i lost it.. like the great depression was a wonderful time for her to be born! i told her so then i informed her i was going to have triplet girls just to piss her off. yes it was a little rude but when my 11 year old hears these things it drives me crazy.
on the other hand sometimes i get smiles and told how beautiful all my little blonde blue eyed babies are. and that im one lucky mama. and i am. focus on the good stuff. people will say something rude no matter what genders you have or how many children you have.. i even heard one lady have to defend her perfect pair.

[wilma_five]

I understand, totally!
I have an -all boy, freak show- family myself! Don't even want to know what people think when they see us walking by.

[fun family]

its the same with 5 girls in tow. i actually went off on a little old lady in the store. i heard her comment about "all those girls." and she kept staring at us. then i heard, "its so selfish to raise a child in this day and age." i lost it.. like the great depression was a wonderful time for her to be born! i told her so then i informed her i was going to have triplet girls just to piss her off. yes it was a little rude but when my 11 year old hears these things it drives me crazy.
on the other hand sometimes i get smiles and told how beautiful all my little blonde blue eyed babies are. and that im one lucky mama. and i am. focus on the good stuff. people will say something rude no matter what genders you have or how many children you have.. i even heard one lady have to defend her perfect pair.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you told her you are having triplet girls next! That is awesome!!! I have never told someone off or been rude back in public. Usually I am just so shocked at people's random rudeness that I can't speak, can't think of what to say, and I just feel angry tears coming to my eyes. I am not a confrontational person by nature. Like you said, it so hurts for my older boys who understand that people are saying, "I bet mommy didn't want all of you," or "you are curse not a blessing."

My SIL who does'nt have kids yet has said multiple times she hopes she is not cursed with all boys like me. Yes, she says "cursed." The first few times I let it go--she's family and I usually like her ok and I didn't want to strain things. But the last time she said it, I finally went off on her. I said it hurts that you call my precious children a curse and think boys are the worst thing in the world. I went off for a while. Dh's other family members heard, and were SHOCKED because I am usually so easy-going. It felt so good to say it...at the same time, SIL just defended herself saying, "I grew up with close sisters so I want naturally want girls, blah blah." However, she has not been stupid enough to say anything about it again. And the rest of Dh's family, who have occasionally teased me about having all boys, have also laid off. So thats good.

I agree that you can get rude comments no matter what the gender make-up of your family is. For sure. But I also believe that some situations, like mine, 4 in a row, close in age, attract more attention than others and we get more than our share of the bad comments. I also have been told that I am lucky and that is fun to hear. I had a mom the other day say, "4 boys?" And I said "yes" and braced myself for the dreaded comments. She responded, Wow, that was my dream family, but I got girls! And we laughed.

[Princess of Pink]

All girl freak show here...people even pull up at the traffic lights and stare when I have all the girls in the car. lol

[Mochagirl]

I totally know what you mean, fun family. I have 3 boys now and could have 4 if this babe ends up being one. My oldest are identical twins too, so we already get tons of attention because of that. I've learned to focus on my boys when we're in public and try to ignore all the stares and comments - especially when one or all of them are misbehaving and drawing even more attention than usual.

[wilma_five]

Did I told you how people look when you buy a HPT with 5 kids?