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August 24th, 2013, 12:30 PM
#11
Dream Vet
Ohmigod, you have described me (mom of 3 boys) to a TEE! Even down to the fact that I was stressed out watching the entire FBDO movie, thinking about all the things that were going to go wrong. Just take the car back, Cameron!! Lol! I’ve been called a ‘control freak’ since I was three years old, and it’s only in the last few years that I’ve started to be able to let things go another way than I want them to. But I’m still most comfortable and calm when I’m planning things down to the last detail. (You should see the trip I’m currently planning for my family to Disneyland. My family thinks I’m nuts. They can’t understand why I’d want to have the brand of milk we take with us for our re-planned breakfasts picked out ahead of time. Don’t they understand that if we have the wrong brand it could lead to catastrophic vacation disasters??!!)
I will say that with age I’ve made an effort to take the anxiety out of it for myself. I try not to get freaked out that I can’t control things, I just know that I am more comfortable if I can. Like, I’ve learned ot let the house be dirty sometimes, bit look at a pile of dishes and let it sit there for awhile while I play cars with my sons instead. It’s hard – and totally against my nature! – but in the long run, I can feel it is better for my overall anxiety level. And with some practice, there are things that I’ve actually stopped caring about having “my way.” (A little. See milk reference above.)
“So if you’re a Mary- or Martha-type please don’t despair that your sway is doomed to failure, you can reprogram yourself to some extent and it will really help your sway.”
I can’t wait to hear about the “re-programming” part! I’ll be checking back all weekend for more on this essay.
FABULOUS job, atomic! This is really interesting, well-researched stuff. I’m so impressed. (And was laughing throughout. Well researched and entertaining for the win!)
2000
2009
2012
mc July 2014
mc Dec 2014
Hoping for my girl to stay sticky!!
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August 24th, 2013, 12:36 PM
#12
Moderator
Makes you really wonder if older moms have more girls b/c they've mellowed with age, too...combined with the fact that their fertility is probably decreased.
Geez...hoping that's how it all worked for me anyway!! I'll let y'all know in January!! lol
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August 24th, 2013, 12:46 PM
#13
Swaying Advice Coach
girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
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August 24th, 2013, 12:49 PM
#14
Swaying Advice Coach
Originally Posted by
BeadinMom
Makes you really wonder if older moms have more girls b/c they've mellowed with age, too...combined with the fact that their fertility is probably decreased.
Geez...hoping that's how it all worked for me anyway!! I'll let y'all know in January!! lol
I do totally think this. Life has a way of beating the Martha right out of ya and I would even go so far as to say raising boys can contribute to that!!! o.O
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August 24th, 2013, 01:14 PM
#15
Dream Vet
Originally Posted by
atomic sagebrush
girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
ROFL! Okay, that so makes me feel better! (Both about being very Martha-esque and about my chances of having a girl!!)
2000
2009
2012
mc July 2014
mc Dec 2014
Hoping for my girl to stay sticky!!
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August 24th, 2013, 09:17 PM
#16
Big Dreamer
Brilliant! Great work as usual!
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August 24th, 2013, 10:12 PM
#17
Dream Vet
Holy crap you do a lot of work!
DS #1 - 2010 Liam James
#2 - 2012 Ezra Keaton
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August 25th, 2013, 01:04 AM
#18
Originally Posted by
atomic sagebrush
girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
I am thinking of at least 2 close friends who are like this, and both have girls (one is a GB mom, the other a GBG mom). The GBG mom recently took the cabinets off her kitchen walls, painted them, and put them back. She also MADE her own entry table with a jigsaw, raw materials, and her determination. She is such a planner, cleaner, organizer, and controller. Yet, 2 of her 3 are girls. Thing is, and I think this is a big key: she wasn't planning either of her daughters. She WAS planning her son.
Thinking I need to have an oops baby! Atomic, may be coming to you down the road for some advice on a non-sway sway. One that doesn't allow me to get obsessed, because I'm really not trying. Hehe!!
Mommy to 4 precious little boys, would love a
, but more
also welcome!
(July 2007)
(August 2009)
(May 2012)
(February 2014)
Due January 2016
It's a
! My little miracle from God!
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August 25th, 2013, 03:36 AM
#19
Moderator
lol maybe I need to dig out the CBT exercises again to make my anxious or repetitive brain learn to be quiet
thank you for these, I've only had a chance to skim read these so far, but what you're writing seems to click as being correct in my head. At the same time, it makes me think that really much more is out of our control than we thought so in some ways maybe I'm already closer to girl-mum-thoughts than I thought
BTW I think in this country and society girls are actually seen as the "preferred" gender, it's boys here who are portrayed more negatively on the whole
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August 25th, 2013, 03:37 AM
#20
Moderator
So happy for you Treens, congratulations Sent from my SM-A225F using Tapatalk
Healthy baby girl :)