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August 28th, 2013, 11:18 AM #31
[QUOTE=atomic sagebrush;459840] gut instinct here, it seems a little bit "martha" to say, OMG I have to now postpone and come up with a plan to relax myself and change my personality!!! (remember Jeannie trying to change her name to impress Charlie SHeen??) You can't change your personality, it's more like you just mellow out a little bit.
This was also my first reaction, never thought of it as 'Martha' need to work on acceptance I think, not everything is within my control (although I try)DS1 2010
DS2 2012
DS3 2014
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August 28th, 2013, 03:21 PM #32Big Dreamer
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Wow, it's worse than I thought! I don't know if I can do this. I mean...I just don't know! I'll be stalking this thread for the rest of the essay. But yes my first instinct is to tackle it like a problem. "Ok, I need to relax more. So I'll google how to relax, and I'll watch my DH and try to behave more like him..." Haha.
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[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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August 29th, 2013, 06:07 AM #33
Sbowman, your post made me chuckle as I also approached this like a problem and had the same thoughts of googling it for solutions, very Martha! no wonder I have boys! Any ideas ................?
DS1 2010
DS2 2012
DS3 2014
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August 29th, 2013, 06:31 AM #34Moderator
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Exactly how I approached it too. Eek! I even bought two books on acceptance therapy. I've started reading one but have kind of lost my enthusiam for the 'project' - what hope is there for me?! I think I need to just enjoy every minute with my boys & I'm sure ds3 will help me stop living in my own head so much. I think I'm over the idea of another kitchen-sink sway now. It didn't work & I'm so glad I got the chance to make that mistake & still hopefully have another chance left. Babies are great at keeping us in the present. I can't wait to.meet our new little boy & am just tired of GD now. Can't wait to start over in a new town with a new baby where no-one knows of my GD!
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So proud to announce that after many long years of GD our precious DAUGHTER joined us in June 2016!!
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August 29th, 2013, 07:23 AM #35
Dream, am so with you! I have bought books on meditation, how funny I have accepted a DS3 and am getting excited, I think because I am becoming more positive the responses I am receiving are better than I expected. But like you I feel I have learnt a valuable lesson this time and am hoping to learn from it!
Seems us boy mums have a lot in common! Am finding all this very educational! Am going to enjoy watching the stats spreadsheet over the next few months!DS1 2010
DS2 2012
DS3 2014
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August 29th, 2013, 01:20 PM #36Swaying Advice Coach
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bear with me, I'm trying!!
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August 30th, 2013, 12:31 AM #37
Thanks for the great essay. But how do I become more Martha?? lol. I think for the little things I'm very Martha, but when it comes to the big things, I'm pretty laid back and figure life will just work itself out. Hopefully luck will be on my side.
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August 30th, 2013, 03:48 AM #38
I think the point is that some things you *can't* change... you just have to go for it anyway
although things like CBT or trying to change your outlook (NOT change your needs, just to put thngs in perspective) can make life easier to live your life in the long term rather than doing it for a sway
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August 30th, 2013, 09:18 AM #39Swaying Advice Coach
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Blue swayers CAN become more Martha - start by taking on projects (like swaying) where you are running the show! I think swaying itself can sway blue because it's a big complex project with a lot riding on it. If you like cooking or crafting now is the time to do that (but be sure you are able to finish what you start)
I also recommend things like video games - one of my favorites is the Pokemon games for Gameboy, because they are very meticulous with lots of planning and attention to detail, and there's lots of battling in it. Candy crush, Farmville, the Sims would be good. Or in the real world, card games, puzzles, anything that YOU enjoy that requires some planning and forethought in order to succeed at it.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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August 30th, 2013, 09:22 AM #40Swaying Advice Coach
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Bump! :)
Back again: blue sway planning