Unexpected "announcement" - SO MAD!

[SamS_TTCPink]

I am fuming!! We are away on the Gold Coast and staying with my DH parents, which is hell on it's own but last night my left leg all swelled up and I had pins and needles etc... So, as I had a blood clot a couple of weeks ago and the fact that were driving 14hrs home tomorrow, I thought I better go to the dr and get it checked today and of course my meddling MIL had to come.

Anyway, the dr wanted to order an ultrasound and was chatting about medication so I had to tell her I was pregnant. She then put on the referral for the ultrasound "pregnant". She then asked the receptionist to call and book it in as it was urgent. So MIL stood right at the reception desk whilst the call was being made and of course the receptionist goes to the lady on the other end of the phone "oh, and she's pregnant" 😦

The look I have her said it all!!! And the look on my MILs face!! OMG!!

I was soooo furious!! I know why she had to tell them, but if anyone had to find out, I did not want it to be my MIL! 😠

So then whilst I was waiting for the ultrasound, I got 50 questions and just as many comments!

"Why would I want another? Did we so anything to ensure it's a girl? Don't I know I'm not supposed to have a girl?? How DH didn't want anymore so I obviously pushed him into it and isn't he trapped enough!?? And how she not surprised as 6mths ago when she last saw us I was all over DH like I was on heat so it was obvious what I was after!!??!?"

I heard how she won't have another child in her house as we already have too many and when we come up to QLD (which is at the most once a year and the only time we see them) she already has kids hanging out the windows??!? She has a huge 5 bedroom house!!! (Which when she bought it told DH it was so he could leave me and move in!)

She then wanted to know everything about everything!! She asked so many questions about "swaying" and so much personal crap! I ended up telling her about the miscarriage thinking she might stop the attack on me, but no!

I now feel so horrible!! I feel "violated" after all the questions and feeling forced to tell her stuff that was only between DH and I (and you all on here of course &#128521 and I just feel sick.

She also has such a big mouth that everyone will know by the time we drive out their driveway tomorrow and this is not what I wanted at all. I asked DH to talk to her to tell her "to keep her mouth shut" and he said no, and then went off about the way I asked and how I speak about her. Mind you she has been so cruel to our kids all week, telling DS5 yesterday "to sit down of she will throw him down"!

The minute I say anything to DH, I am the bad person and how dare I say anything about his mother, and he defends everything she does or says.

I am so upset! I feel so disgusted about her knowing and what was said and done today that I don't even want to be pregnant anymore. I want my little girl so much but this has just ruined everything!

And DH is being so horrible, just even the way he speaks to me and looks at me is like he hates me, and I'm filth. It's gotten so bad that I even said today "if you hate me so much and are so disgusted with me, why are you still with me?" He just looked at me even more disgusted and made some scoffing sound.

It's obvious his family hate me, they've made it quite clear over the past 18yrs and this week even more so, and now this, and I'm pretty sure DH feels the same about me as they do. When he almost left me for another girl years ago, they knew all about it, he had their full support and they loved her (because she wasn't me).

I just don't know what to do! I feel so sick, so disgusting and I can't even cry cause I'm under constant watch. 😢😢

If you got this far, thanks for reading, and I'm sorry for such a down post, just have no one else to "talk to". 😞

[Mrs_Incredible]

I get so angry for you. I'd leave him and never see him, your & his family ever again .........

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[Little Lunasa]

Oh God you poor thing to be in such a terrible situation! What a b*tch your MIL is! It sounds to me that she is a complete control freak and has your DH right where she wants him. I don't honestly how I'd handle this, do you have supportive girlfriends IRL? You shouldn't have to deal with this all alone, especially not pregnant and feeling vulnerable

Obviously I don't know your full situation, but if you can I would spend as little time as possible with your MIL and I'd discreetly restrict her time with your children, try to regain your power. You are the mother after all and should have the final say in most things!
I hope things improve for you, at least you know you will get support here
xxxxxx

[oncue]

Wow. This is really infuriating! I'm glad u are leaving tomorrow. Is there any way you can go stay in a hotel or b&b for the rest of time? I don't think with ur leg giving u issues and also being pregnant it's good for u at all to stay in that environment. Even just go for a drive and have a big cry on ur own. Would going back to Canberra on ur own with the kids be an option.
I don't know what to say. If I were in ur situation, given the things u have mentioned before, it might be an idea for u and ur kids to have some space away from DH. Maybe a bit of time apart will help u get perspective and also (hopefully) make him realise what a gem u are. It's not fair on u or ur kids to be exposed to this. U don't deserve this and the fact that they don't care about how they treat u whilst ur pregnant is hideous.
My MIL is a nightmare at the best of times and has said some very nasty things to me and DH as we aren't religious enough for her, but DH saw how it upset me and told her to F@$! Off. She is always like that even when I wasn't with DH so he was used to her and can shrug it off, but he defends me til the cows come home. I wld only want the same for u too. From what we read on the forums u sound like a fab woman and mother and u deserve much more respect and love than that xo

[covered in blue]

I'm so sorry. She sounds like a horror story. Don't let her win or steel your joy! You are so blessed to have your gorgeous boys and you deserve this little baby too! If she can't see you and all her Grandsons as a blessing then she is the one who is missing out. Let her make a fool of herself and you take the moral high ground.

[Boysway]

OMG, my heart is absolutely breaking for you. I'm almost at a loss for words. What an absolute bitch your MIL is. I agree with oncue, you seem to be a great Mum and wife and great all round person. There is no need for anyone to treat you like that, let alone family. And, your husband, well he is supposed to have your back! He needs to grow some balls and back you up. Stand up for you. How dare she be like that to you and I can't believe you husband didn't even stand up for you. It just makes my blood boil. I wish I could give you a massive hug! I felt like crying just reading your post.

[QueenB3blue]

So sorry Don't even waste your breathe on people that treat you like that! You will never be able to control the way they feel about you. It must be so hard for you right now! I pray you can just focus on what makes YOU happy. Think of your children and how amazing you are to take care of everything on your own.
I say, kill them with kindness. Don't give them any reason to twist it and make you feel bad.
I am really hoping this craziness goes away for you!!

[BlessedMomma]

Oh gosh mum! I dont even know what to say. Im sorry ur in this situation, I hope it works out in the end. Just try not to stress(easier said then done) and take care of yourself. Sending hugs

[eleena2014]

i know slightly how u feel,i had a meddling,horrible witch of a mother-in-law ( we werent married so not my proper mil)
if it was me,i would have told her that i dont have to explain anything to her,and leave it at that.
as for your dh,sit down when the kids are in bed,when everything has calmed down,and talk to him and explain that you didnt mean to upset him or his mother but the way she went off at you has left you feeling neglected,hurt and whatever else your feeling.explain you know he loves his mother but with being pregnant you have all these emotions and hormones which you cant control.i hope he comes round to understanding that he really does need to stand up for you.xx

[Abifasc]

Oh wow that's horrible. I wouldn't ever talk to her again.