Confused about family size

[Mamato3?]

In a few decades we will populate Mars, so don't worry about overpopulation
Seriously though, don't worry about it, the planet can sustain us all just fine!!!

[Midwest_Complex]

Junie- I had a perfect pregnancy with DD1. With DD2 I had a mild placenta abruption and preterm labor at 33 weeks. I was on bedrest in hospital and at home until 40 weeks. It really messed me up mentally. I feel like I got so lucky to come out healthy and with a healthy baby. I'm scared it will happen again (there's a 1/10 chance my midwife said) & I just get scared thinking about bedrest with 2 kids or worse if I die & my girls have no mother all because I "want" a boy.. :/

[Mamato3?]

Junie- I had a perfect pregnancy with DD1. With DD2 I had a mild placenta abruption and preterm labor at 33 weeks. I was on bedrest in hospital and at home until 40 weeks. It really messed me up mentally. I feel like I got so lucky to come out healthy and with a healthy baby. I'm scared it will happen again (there's a 1/10 chance my midwife said) & I just get scared thinking about bedrest with 2 kids or worse if I die & my girls have no mother all because I "want" a boy.. :/

Midwest I have had 2 c-sections and during the first I had bleeding that barely got away with it before blood transfusion.
We share the same thoughts and fears as far as labour is concerned.
But everybody, everyday faces lifethreatening dangers or have accidents out of the blue, we cannot let our fears dictate our lives.
If it is our time something will happen anyway, I don't mean to be macabre, I just want to say that personally I have chosen to live everyday to the max, one never knows what tomorrow holds..
Also regarding bedrest, the first couple of weeks after a c-section are very difficult. I could not get up from the bed without holding on somewhere.
But you know, we didn't make the children alone, our DHs helped and they should help also after birth, especially when physically we are facing problems.
I wish you the best whatever you decide!!!

[Dana-Alicia]

OMG girls!! Now I want more kids too lol! I come from a family with 4 kids and my dad has a massive (catholic ) family and I loved growing up in a big family. On holidays and birthdays our house is always cramped with loved ones and I find that such a blessing (and such a nuisance at times with all the drama that tends to go around every now and then ugh). I want the same for my kids... So hoping my sisters will make lots of babies as well, but I doubt it to be honest. DH only ever wanted two kids, I always wanted 3: 2 girls and one boy. Now my ideal family would be my two boys and two girls to add to that. But DH says NO I can only have one more and that is a stretch for him already. But one step at a time, he will come around I'm sure How to handle 3 (or 4) kids at once, I don't know lol it seems hard. But I do believe your heart expands with every child and you just make it work.

[Junie]

Midwest I understand your fears now! In your position I guess I would do more research. How often is placenta abruption fatal for the mom or baby. Is there anything they can do to monitor or prevent it? If those numbers or odds weren't totally against you I would just consider it a normal risk of pregnancy and life. What does your doctor think?

[Midwest_Complex]

Full on placenta abruption is usually almost always fatal for baby. It can cause major hemorrhage complications for mom & her risk of death is higher. Thankfully i only had a MILD PA, but it could have went to full at any given time so I was SO scared nonstop. There's a 1/1000 chance for regular women I think* & 1/10 chance for a repeat placenta abruption. I didn't have any of the risk (I dont smoke or do drugs) so it was just totally randon which my dr says sadly does happen :/

[Junie]

Then if I were you, I guess I would look at it as a very unlucky thing which happened to you but not something which you are going to allow to change the way you want to live your life. But that is just me you have to make the choices which you will feel comfortable with and can live with. Good luck and big hugs!

[1+2+3boys]

Well I think the main thing you have to ask yourself is how would you feel if you couldn't have a third? Could you live with that? Would you be happy? For me what it came down to is I absolutely can't see our family being complete with 2. I love the two we have so much and watching them together, interacting as a family, etc and I really want to add another child to the mix. Honestly I wouldn't mind adding two more to the mix but I'm having trouble enough convincing DH for #3 .

While I would prefer a girl I absolutely would love a boy just as much. I don't mind waiting a bit longer even though it isn't my "ideal spacing". Basically I just have a deep desire and feel in my heart that three would be beneficial for our family (for everyone not just me). Plus I live in Germany where the population is shrinking so that doesn't affect my choice.

I'm not sure where your guilt comes from- do you live in an area where everyone only has 1-2 children?

I didn't realise German population was shrinking. My partner is German and he has done his best to contribute so far!

[Junie]

I didn't realise German population was shrinking. My partner is German and he has done his best to contribute so far!

That is for sure

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it's quite a serious issue!! http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/14/wo...pagewanted=all