Team Green or Gender Scan

[Kyslate85]

I have had 4 boys and am currently 5 weeks into my 5th pregnancy. My husband is talking about going team green in hopes it might help with gender disappointment. I know it's a long time away but I can tell but already wonder boy or girl. I'm not sure if I'm patient enough to wait but I am thinking about it and if we do decide to, I want to start preparing myself and try to stop thinking about gender.

So my question is for those of you with children the same sex, did you go team green or find out? Are you glad with your decision or wish you would've done the other?

[Faithinpink]

Hi kyslate85, Iam following this because iam in exactly the same boat .
Iam wondering every single day and its driving me crazy .

[BrightSky]

Hi kyslate85, congrats on your pregnancy! It's a tough one, and there are pros and cons either way. With my last pregnancy I did not find out the sex and really happy with the decision. I desperately wanted a girl whilst pregnant and knew if I heard boy I would be upset and struggle to be 'involved' in the experience. I also knew that once I met my little one I would love them instantly so decided to wait until this moment to find out the gender. I did have a strong inkling when pregnant that it was another boy, so I think this helped me accept it too. Im really glad I waited until I meet him in person, he's an amazing baby and makes it hard for me to be disappointed good luck with whatever you decide xx

[Girlieplease]

Tricky one, am currently pregnant with DS3, I swayed hard for a girl, I have a dd my eldest. I found via the harmony test that this current pregnancy was a boy, my gd was extreme and I would say it has ruined this pregnancy, I was very distressed for a long time, detached from the pregnancy, refused to tell people I was pregnant. I am slowly but surely getting there but I still wish I had not got pregnant. My husband wonders if it would have been better to have waited until the birth and maybe seeing the baby as a person would have moderated my reaction. I am not sure, I would be so terrified to feel those feelings when I had a wee baby to care for and not sleeping etc. We could not go team green as we needed to tell my dd the sex of the baby when we told her we were pregnant. I knew she would want a sister, she took the news badly so letting her get her hopes up that it was a girl to be disappointed at the birth would have been awful!

Good luck x

[4blue2pink]

i found out at 18-20 weeks with my 4 boys and my 5th who was my second girl (1st girl was lost mid pregnancy) with my 6th baby last year who was a pink sway i decided to go team green.. i opted out of the 12 and 20 week scans so i didnt have to sit there trying to guess off scan pics etc.. then when i got to 37 weeks i had my one and only scan and opted to find out, turned out my sway had worked and baby girl number 3 was on her way

looking back it would have been amazing to have that "its a girl" surprise when she was born but during the course of the pregnancy i realised i only wanted the big surprise reveal at birth if baby was in fact a girl, i really really didnt want the surprise to be that the sway had failed.. i found the whole pregnancy up to 37 weeks to be a total mind game, it was slowly driving me insane!!

if i hadnt of found out with her and had experienced my "OMG its a girl" surprise i wouldnt be rushing to go team green again i dont think, for me its an experience that i really would like to have but unfortunately its heavily mixed up with the desire for one gender.. im unsure what i will do for my next pregnancy, i think i may regret never getting to experience a surprise at the birth once my baby making days are over, but on the other hand not knowing did stop me enjoying the pregnancy last time because i couldnt relax, i also found not knowing made it harder to imagine the baby being with us and it felt less real.

best of luck with whatever you decide and i hope you have your little girl in there xx

[Butterflies buttercups]

It ruined my last pregnancy not finding out and I was basically depressed whilst pregnant this time I 100% will find out at an early gender scan so I can prepare myself otherwise I will be on Google for the next 8 months just typing in rediculois things convincing myself it's a girl ( which I'm currently doing !!) and I can't wait to stop and just enjoy being pregnant.


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[4blue2pink]

completely relate to that BB!! that was me up till i found out at 37 weeks.. can i ask if it felt like a big difference to you finding out at the birth compared to knowing ahead of time? do you feel that by knowing before the birth you rob yourself of a special moment at the birth? also massive congratulations on your bfp xx

[Butterflies buttercups]

Well because I had such a strong intuition that it was a boy then thought I saw his bits on the 20 week scan I also examined ultrasound videos matching them Up with mine which drove me insane - I think either look at the scan or don't because if u think u see something or if u don't see something u will convince yourself either way which can then heighten the anxiety - it was lovely seeing him at the birth but I wasn't crying happy tears they were tears of 'knowing' I would have to go through all of this again to try for a girl ... I've had 2 c sections so not easy labours either which made it harder to recover with depression and breastfeeding and the comments from ppl Aswell!!

I agree it would be lovely to have a surprise at birth but maybe easier if your not hoping for a certain gender as u may still have All the gender anxiety all th way through xx


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[cosmosis]

From my experience, it is better to find a way to cope and work through gender disappointment regardless of which direction you go. There's pros and cons either way. I did a 90% team green with DD. It was my OB who gave it away when I asked her at the scan. She said, "it could be a boy" (no sh!t sherlock, lol) with a disappointed face.

So I left the office at 20w unsure if it was a boy or girl but leaning towards girl due to her comment. It was much worse buying the gender neutral stuff feeling like that. Had I found out, I would have had time to at least try and get excited. My poor DD had to wear yellow and green outfits for her first 6 weeks LOL. I got her headbands though.

She turned out to be such a huge blessing and so perfect for my now blended family that I feel silly now. Not sure what I'll go for this time around. The A type in me wants to plan everything out and the other part of me loves a surprise.

In order to enjoy your surprise, you have to come to terms and accept either outcome first. Make the decision to either find out or not BUT STICK WITH IT. Don't be like me lol.

[atomic sagebrush]

I went Team Green the first 2 times and loved it - but I had no gender preference with them (actually wanted a boy with DS 1)

I am really thankful I did not go Team Green with my 3rd because I was SO SURE he was a girl and I'd have really been shocked silly in the delivery room.

I also found out with DS 4 and DD and I am glad. I just felt like it was better for me.