Not pregnant -- ME?

[Throwaway_panther]

Well, literally every study and the nurse who followed up also say that sperm issues are often to blame. I'm sort of sick of the "well it must still be your eggs" angle when literally every thing we come across is saying that NO, it is not my eggs, and I'm sick of carrying the weight of this whole process because of that perspective. We thought it was my husband in October. We're thinking it's him now. It's looking like, no, it's not me even though I'm the one who gets injected, takes a medicine cabinet full of supplements, is unable to relax or enjoy any part of my life anymore, gets my body poked and prodded over and over again. His whole family is full of infertility issues and now more results are showing something is wrong here with his sperm. I'm not saying this to be hostile to you, just ranting out of frustration that I feel like I'm fighting a "if it looks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck..." situation here still.

The only supplement that has changed since October was he went from a multi to Fertilaid for men ON doctor recommendation, but he doesn't even take it as regularly as he's supposed to since he's been on one bottle for 3 months now. He's been drinking organic oatstraw infusions periodically as well. We're going to investigate if there's perhaps a varicocele, but the other suspicion is there is something more dramatic going on that needs to be investigated asap -- or he's lying about taking supplements, about his masturbation habits, etc. I know he's not smoking, I'd smell it. But otherwise, who knows. But shit's not on my end. The drugs barely touched me and I responded well and all of my mature eggs fertilized (a sign of egg quality, as well, not sperm quality as I learned).

ETA: And there's the declining sperm rate seen all over the world, so I guess there's that. Yay, the Handmaid's Tale :|

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, see I really hesitated to answer since I could tell it was going to turn into an argument. Remember that I am telling you this stuff without payment, without benefiting from it any any way, because I am trying to help you have a better outcome. Nurses will tell you exactly what they think you want to hear. They do not know why your IVF didn't work out as planned. Full stop. I understand you are upset and raw, but please don't kill the messenger. I understand you are venting but I am a human being who is trying to help you and I don't need it, quite frankly.

Believe what you would like, and what gives you peace of mind. However, I urge you to leave no stone unturned, assume nothing, and not to rest easily upon the most likely explanation though because doctors and other medical professionals will always seize upon the obvious and stop all investigations. This has happened to 9 jillion people on here including myself both with fertility things and health things. This is why people go months and years without being diagnosed with stuff is because the doctor decides something (breastfeeding, sperm quality, whatever) is THE problem and then misses the actual problem or half of the problem or whatever.

Personally, I am not a fan of Fertilaid for men. I know doctors recommend it but the maca and ginseng, I believe to be bad juju. So if a guy is on the borderline, these things might push him right over. Now if he's not taking it that much maybe it's something else but that is the first thing I'd ditch IMO. I would certainly ditch it before I started getting suspicious of him.

If your tone with your husband is at all like what your tone is coming through here, he's not going to be terribly cooperative with you. It's how men are, they rebel at being told what to do, unfortunately. I tell you this not to be a big meanie, but because he sounded like a pretty caring and decent dude and it seemed like you had a pretty solid relationship before. This is not a blame game. This is how fertility issues destroy marriages, it really is.

I wish you the best of luck in your IVF rounds. But I'm done answering questions (and you're probably just fine with that.) I hope my next post will be a congratulatory one. Blue sticky dust coming your way.

[Throwaway_panther]

I tell you this not to be a big meanie, but because he sounded like a pretty caring and decent dude and it seemed like you had a pretty solid relationship before. This is not a blame game. This is how fertility issues destroy marriages, it really is.

I wish you the best of luck in your IVF rounds. But I'm done answering questions (and you're probably just fine with that.) I hope my next post will be a congratulatory one. Blue sticky dust coming your way.

Lol I appreciate the ~well wishes, and I wasn't ever actually trying to ask you questions so my bad for coming across as asking of your personal time/resources. I was viewing this board to be for multiple members of the community, which is my mistake if I took it for that once again. It's why I tend to stick to HT now for any questions -- this was just sort of to rant. But man oh man, if you thought my husband was a caring dude through any of my posts, I must talk up a pretty good game -- especially since I think we've established you and I misunderstand each other's tones time and time again, which I think was happening yet again

I'm about as done with all of this as you are with me so I don't blame you. Maybe we'll all get lucky and I'll be put out of everyone's misery sooner rather than later.