Boy sway after 4 girls - the last chance sway!

[LMSM]

Make yourselves a cuppa , this is going to be a loooooong one LOL (and sorry, it may not be super consistent as I started this when pregnant in September - then changed it when I lost that baby and updated where I could now). Hopefully it can help a blue swayer along the way!

DG: Boy
Gender of baby on board: BOY!

Ages at conception
Me: 38 (39 a few weeks later though haha)
DH: 45

Children: 4 girls – aged between 2.5 & 10 at conception of this babe- my #4 was almost 3 y.o and had been fully weaned for just about 12 months after being nursed for 2 years
oh and all with same Dad, if that matters - together for over 16 years, so definitely stable haha)

Exercise:
Important note: in February 2023 had to have surgery so had to change diet to low fibre prior and for a while after, trying to be suuuper gentle on my gut – post surgery also couldn’t do any real exercise for 6 weeks so tried to walk and be active as much as possible but mindful of my body’s healing.
Once I was cleared for exercise, bodyweight exercise mainly, gradually increasing duration/intensity…
I did lose 4kgs total in that period (taking my BMI down to the lower end of the healthy range from 21.8 to 20.2) so while I felt lighter I did felt a lot weaker and had to rebuild muscle and focus on strength! But did put most of that weight back on once back on a “normal/HE diet” so effectively didn’t really lose any weight

Me: Bodyweight/HIIT/weight exercises 3 days per week most weeks at fist (35ish minutes each time), such as GrowwithJo/Chloe Ting/Taebo etc workouts… using weights (not super heavy but trying to build those muscles!) other days, walking as much as possible/lifting toddler and doing squats at the kitchen bench when cooking haha
Since we had a warm summer, we actually used the pool most days goofing around a few months prior to conception, so got a lot of sun/vit D and just overall moving around from that just in the lead up to TTC (for our lost pregnancy, that is - was really lazy leading up to the conception of this baby)
Using my stand-up desk at the office 2 d/week – for a few hours those days to build core and muscle/burn cals 😝
Note – after the miscarriage in November, I did very little formal exercise – just wasn’t in the right mindset

DH: He is hard to get onboard with moving other than fun outdoor activities so the fact his BF got him onboard with upping protein, less carbs, more exercise just prior to TTC was a bonus…
He uses the stand-up desk at work 5 days per week and most of the day too(savings his balls from being sat on – also less sitting in car due to shorter commute (10/15min *2 every day in car now too with new job vs the 40 min*2 every day prior)

Stress:
Me: I changed jobs in June 2022 – the new job, while the same role (different employer), offered way more flexibility, was closer to home and the new boss was so much more encouraging/positive/supportive so it removed a lot of the bad stress from the somewhat toxic environment I was in with my previous job (for DD2,3 & 4 but moreso 4).

DH: He also changed jobs, in September 2022 – also closer to home (less time sat in car!), and overall (a lot) less stress. He was getting burnt out from the board of the previous organisation and amount of work though the new job was not challenging him as much as he’d like and as such, he wasn’t feeling as driven professionally (we did try to make up for that by getting some side hustles on / doing fun but competitive games as a family etc)

Diet:
Since I couldn’t TTC soon after DD4 (due to being too tired/ changing jobs/ having to try to convince DH for #5)… & having tried and failed to convince DH for IVF/GS, I wanted to be primed for blue as much as possible in case of oops again (#4 was our oops :P), or deciding to go ahead with TTC.
So quite a while ahead of possibly TTC, I started making tweaks to diet around July 2022 so that it would gradually become 2nd nature (bar my hiatus in Feb-March due to the surgery – we did conceive in September 23 but had a missed m/c with D&C at 10 weeks so I wasn’t back TTC until January 24).
Naturally, I tend to grab sweeter/carby foods, I love fruit & veg but not big on meat, cheese or dairy generally. I would drink coffee and fill up on that to tide me over until lunch. Even if I did have breakfast, the breakfast would be a piece of bread with butter and jam on the go (crash & burn, anyone?) – not super nutritious anyhow!
That is probably the major thing that has primed me for girls over the years…Salads, pasta, lean white meats (think chicken breast and fish, rarely red meat) – I could happily eat vegetarian most of the time without feeling deprived (but not enough protein even non-animal based so always hungry-ish hence reaching for quick carbs to give me the illusion of getting “something”). Not super unhealthy but definitely not stable BS levels due to too much sugar in carbs and not enough protein to balance it.

SO on the final crusade to BLUE, big changes! In the past, what I had in stability in my couple I definitely lacked in my blood sugar levels – they would have been all over the place with crashing and burning all the time in my non-HE sway days haha I therefore worked hard on integrating loads of good healthy fats, proteins (mostly animal) paired with healthy carbs (not just say, a lone biscuit, fruit or chocolate!)...

Meat & protein: Forced myself to drastically up my meat consumption (especially red meat – one dinner /2 would be red meat based - rest chicken (mostly), pork (not very often though) or fish (mainly salmon with tuna regularly too)), and snack healthily to keep my blood sugar levels steady – overall massively improved my diet and nutrient intake. While the portions of meat were not huge, I thought it best to have some consistently (every day at least once) rather than one big sitting per week with a big steak to give my body the message of consistent, good, healthy times ^^
EGGS! In some form everyday (from our own chooks or if low in supply (winter) – always bought free range ones).

Fats & misc.: Avocado when in season, about ½ a small avo most days (think a serve of guacamole, or avo on toast or in a salad)
Often would put a bit of butter on top of otherwise plain veg – added lots of garlic to salads (& NYF) and meals
Would add homemade organic grass fed beef bone broth to all soups, curries and sauces.
Lard (only in the Blitz in the lead-up to TTC), grass fed butter, organic coconut oil, EEOO
I did eat some pork crackling as a high protein snack regularly as it offers both fat and protein without much else (chose the high-quality one without the yucky additives)
Salt to taste – which is a reasonable amount (I like things salty – as much as am a sweet tooth otherwise haha)

Nuts: Dry roasted almonds or cashews were my fav and my go to snack to nibble on if hungry (so portable too!). Lots of nuts (so mainly almonds and sometimes cashews), rarely walnuts – some peanuts, mainly in PB (the irony! had to eat nuts like no tomorrow to finally see some appear on the gender ultrasound?? LOL).

Dairy: Dairy was always full fat (something I didn’t previously like so didn’t eat much at all with DDs 1&2 (and if eaten was often low fat) though had switched to FF dairy by the time we were TTC DD3/4) … I ate lots of yogurt with peanut or almond butter and fruit (often berries or apples) – most days at least one serve of FF Greek yogurt. I had the equivalent of a cup of FF milk a day but my dairy was mainly in the yogurt/cheese form. I did supplement my diet with a serve of collagen powder or protein powder (whey based) to up that protein intake especially on days I knew I had not gotten as much as I would have liked.

Fruits: avoided too many bananas and super sweet things like white grapes (though had some here and there because, yum!) and focused on berries (+++), citrus (had HEAPS of mandarins and blood oranges when in season) apples, pears, stone fruit, melon etc – 3 or 4 serves/day max though to not add heaps of sugar/cals where not really needed.
We were lucky – we were in our Aussie summer with heaps of stone fruits, melons, berries so nutrient rich, colourful fruits.

Veggies/grains: focused on the leafy greens (broccoli, so much broccoli LOL baby spinach mainly), colourful others (red cabbage, capsicum , tomatoes(lots of these!) zucchini, sweet potato, green beans, carrots, cauliflower) – aiming for 5 serves per day.
A few extras added in like pulses (the higher protein the better – so lots of black bean, some lentils to bulk up meals), and other starchy veg (green peas, white potatoes maybe 1/ a week), and grains (quinoa, rice, couscous, barley – maybe 1-2/w)
I did try to avoid too much processed carby stuff – so went with healthier options and tried to swap out ½ of my usual carbs (pasta, rice etc) with more nutrient dense options (such as the beans or other grains mentioned above) and bulked up with lots of greens. I did have a slice of bread per day on average and/or oats (I tried to get at least a serve of oats per day – in different forms: overnight oats, porridge, granola etc).

Drinks: lots of (slightly) sweetened (w/raw sugar or coconut sugar) black tea with milk for me with a serve of collagen powder (27g of pure protein!) (tea - black for DH but in the heat he didn’t drink his usual 2 large cups a day) ; plain water (1.5L/day mini but mostly 2+ litres a day usually); we would both have a glass of coconut water a couple of times the week leading up to O (when it’s super cold, it’s actually fine) / tried to drink lemon water once a day at least and DH drank a few here and there (when we had heaps of lime and lemons in the garden). A glass of tomato juice or two /week in the weeks prior to O.
Whole fruit juice- a big glass /week as a treat (because, preference for eating whole fruits) – when I did have it, it was V8, multivitamin juice or equivalent (i.e. not pure apple juice).
For alcohol, I prefer white wine, sparkling, rose or cider - not the best HE options so tried to slow down on those in the 4 months prior to TTC (though, we don’t drink every day or even every week or even every month anyways , it’s more when it’s holidays and we have time to relax so drinking is in “spurts”).
Instead if I wanted a “drink” (or was at a social event) I would get non-alcoholic red wine which wasn’t too bad and has some blue qualities ^^ following my surgery it was easy enough to say that it was best to keep away from too much alcohol and stick to red non-alcoholic wine instead (that was the blessing in disguise with the surgery – could just say that I had to watch and avoid XYZ following my surgery – people never question the why ha ha!). Otherwise, made myself a kombucha mocktail where possible.

1) A typical day on the HE
a. Breakfast – start the day with a small glass of lemon water then egg & bean cheesy burrito OR avocado & cheese on wholemeal toast (1 sometimes 2 slices) OR oatmeal with milk and PB/raspberries OR overnight oats (oats, PB, milk, Greek yogurt, berries) though my fav leading up to TTC this baby I ate Greek yog with homedade oat granola and fruit PLUS tea with FF milk (+collagen) and a bit of raw sugar . (I’d usually have a 20/30g collagen powder addition to my brekkie or morning snack somehow!)
On weekends, often an omelette with cheese/tomato OR waffles/pancakes with PB and yogurt and sneaky protein powder plus berries as well as my usual tea.
b. Snack – carrot sticks with hummus and a couple of almonds OR apple slices with PB/Greek yogurt dip OR handful of nuts with couple of pieces of dried fruits (dates, figs or apricots mostly) – sometimes just dry roasted almonds alone. Might have a tea+milk too especially if didn’t have time for it at brekkie
c. Lunch – often leftovers from previous night such as beef & ricotta lasagne / stir-fry egg noodles with loads of veggies and chicken or beef strips / beef or chicken stew with veg and rice or pasta/ salmon quiche with spinach salad side / loaded salad (with boiled egg, roast chicken, haloumi or mozzarella, avocado, tomato, cucumber, capsicums, baby salad leaves) served with a bit of carbs in form of beans, croutons and a dressing (balsamic vinegar + EVOO) and nutritional yeast flakes… if not feeling 100% satisfied, adding a yogurt with fruit or a cashew/date bar as dessert (or might delay that as snack instead)
d. Snack - carrot sticks with hummus and a couple of almonds OR apple slices with PB/Greek yogurt dip OR handful of nuts with dried fruits – more often than not would feel like a handful of dry roasted almonds with a fruit or the apple with PB dip
e. Dinner – a meat plus salad (baby salad leaves or a tomato) and veggies (such as roast chicken with a side of potatoes, broccoli, green beans) or a stew/one pot wonder with sauce (chili con carne served with beans, rice or quinoa or chips plus guac or sour cream / Italian chicken stew / our new fav the Senegalese mafe stew (simple broth, tomato & PB sauce with stew meat and veg – so tasty!) ..or cauliflower PB meat curry (magic to hide cauli from the kids – have made it dozens of times and they’ve yet to clue in on the fact it’s got a whole head in there!) – anything with sauce I would add a bit of homemade bone broth for extra nutrients! I often don’t have time for dessert as my kids’ bums are on fire and don’t linger at the table :P so the dessert becomes the pre-bed snack once kids are asleep ^^
f. Dessert or Pre-bed snack – love a big bowl of Greek yogurt with peanut butter some berries & adding some cacao nibs at times for extra flavour/crunch…love my almonds too usually washed down with a big cup of milk+tea (in summer, iced tea or glass of cold Milo milk or cold milky tea) though trying to not go crazy just before bed (simply trying to go to bed satisfied/not hungry at all but not stuffed either)
Calories on average: 2,100/2,300 per day (including average of about 100g of protein /20-30% of which may be non-animal source protein so bulk was animal fat/protein) - that is probably the thing that was the most consistent pre-conception of this baby -

DH: ate what I ate apart from protein heavy brekkie and protein supps (tried to push the granola & yog since he’d just eat bread or skip brekkie otherwise). He does love meat and red meat especially so indulged him by buying some nice steaks (especially while on holidays leading up to attempt – we grilled a lot which I know is not deemed best but his meat is served blue so it’s a very quick trip on the grill – not so for mine haha) / overall managed to get him to eat more greens so much broccoli!! ha)
He has always been a tea drinker (he will drink one to two 600ml cups a day – plain); not much alcohol apart from holidays – he tends to drink cider/mead/ginger beers.
However at Xmas 22 he got a still so started making his own brews – and drinking more (mead/alcoholic ginger beer) – that mades me super nervous as he has access to alcohol more easily (on average he might drink a drink or two a night or 2/week now vs having zero or 1 max on average per week) this baby was conceived not long after the new year where we both had several drinks a week (I stopped when the cycle started though) :nerves:

Misc.:
Me: After my DD4 it took 17 months to get AF again – within the 2nd cycle, clear O pains and CM like never before so very obvious when was in the midst of fertile times / and much less pre-AF spotting (it used to be -sorry TMI – at least 2 days of dark brown spotting – has been mostly max 12-24h of very light brown/light pink sporadic spotting or virtually non-existent instead).
LP seems to be longer 12ish days vs the 10ish it used to be (and O seemed to move a bit later; used to be on CD 11-13 - at TTC, moreso CD14 ish).
Important Note: I conceived on 2nd month TTC in September 23 – but had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks requiring a D&C so then had to wait for my cycle to return (mid-late Dec 23) and that cycle to finish so could resume TTC on cycle #2 post D&C which by some miracle was the winning cycle too!
I turned 39 just around then, so didn’t wait to delay any further as this m/c set me back 5+ months as it was and wouldn’t afford to wait (especially because as part of the repeated scans with the m/c I was diagnosed with Adenomyosis – I already have endometriosis so fertility is more likely to get affected).

DH: He wears boxers & sleeps in the nude, always has. He likes to game on the PC or tablet: he doesn’t have a laptop on his lap and uses a stand-up desk heavily at work though he does sit with the tablet on his lap on the sofa and I’m not sure how to stop that…

When eating out (1/2 a month)– always chose the red meat option where possible – such as beef steak, beef burger, pulled beef wraps etc along with sides of veg/sweet potato. For drinks when eating out just water or would order a fresh juice/sparkling water rather than a sugary soda

Worth noting –
*month of conception – was at the tail end of summer, we were outside a lot, soaking up that vit D, relaxing, laughing, playing in the pool heaps (where I got most of my exercise done haha)… ^^
*I have low iron – so have been supplementing for over 18 months but #s we not really improving – so did an infusion in July and another in late December 23.

BD leading up to O/ Attempts:
O-4*1 PM
O-2 * 2 (AM & PM)
O-1 * 1 (PM)
I think lol
I tracked my cycle for 18ish+ months prior to attempts – and it was quite predictable BUT the m/c threw a spanner in the works..
Luckily, the winning cycle was along the same pattern I’d seen prior to the m/c (phew! I was so worried that it would screw everything over) : so my opks would turn positive (as dark as control) when I first saw slippery/watery CM and would be blazing within 24h (max) which lined up with EWCM (which I only seem to have visibly for about a maximum of 24h, usually 12h though this cycle saw NONE!). My libido would ramp up drastically once the OPKs started turning darker so we would just go at it because I couldn’t keep off the DH haha
I have, and each time more after each baby, had stronger and stronger O pains – akin to the pains I had when on Clomid and stimulating my ovaries so knew I was in the fertile window though I know those pains could be before, during or even after actual ovulation.


Supplements (all started in February 2023 unless noted otherwise) Note that I was much less diligent after my miscarriage in November but did have an iron infusion just before Xmas 2023 as have been chronically low.
Me:
Multi (Women 1-a-day)
+Methylfolate (1000mcg – the 1 a day has 400mcg folic acid)
+Iron 100mg EOD (due to iron deficiency issues as prescribed by my Dr)
Probiotics (3 billion CFU/day)
CQ10 – 100mg/day
Fish oil - 500mg every 3 days – check with Atomic for your own personal situation but due to the endo/adeno we preferred to be conservative to avoid extra bleeding as AF was heavy enough as it is.
Guanafenesin – 2/3 doses per day from CD 8 until 3 days post O (started the cycle prior TTC to see if made any change and it did increase EWCM quantities)

DH: really didn’t want to take any supps so managed to sneak in a couple of multivitamin gummies in him a few random times – so unlikely to have helped at all


FINAL update - I did conceive in September 2023 but had a missed miscarriage and D&C in November 2023 - so waited until my cycle returned, let another pass and went back TTC in January 2023 and that was the winning cycle!!

It took years, literal years – so many tears and heartache – but we finally got there! I have always always aaalways hoped for sons. I adore my girls, and would never trade them for anyone but them – but boy oh boy am I over the moon to have this little boy on the way! I am very cautiously hoping for his safe arrival in the next few months (hence why it’s taken me so long to write on here too –am almost 21 weeks now – it feels so very surreal to say I will have my very own SON soon though I am TERRIFIED at the thought of having FIVE kids haha
I cannot thank Atomic enough for her help and cheering over these years – WE did it!

[atomic sagebrush]

Such fantastic news, and THANK YOU for such an awesome, thorough post! Every happiness to you and your family!

[jyotshna.y14]

Wow LMSM i was worried only about u were only waiting in group for several years for boy finally u got it very happy huge relief


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[ruby_blue]

Wow this is amazing! Thanks for making such a detailed post. I’m gearing up to start trying again after a couple of years of… chaos basically! Been so worried that my age & DH’s age (mid 40s) will mess up a blue sway. But you are serious inspiration

Well done! Fantastic news xx

[LMSM]

Thank you!
It is completely surreal to me after FOUR girls haha - and I kinda still fully expect to find out that baby was actually a girl at birth even though I've done the Sneak Peek Clinical, NIPT both come back as male foetus AND 2 scans (13.5 and 20 weeks) with clear boy parts LOL

Good luck you Ruby!! I can send blue baby dust now

[treens]

Congratulations! I am so happy for you now you can feel compeet!