Feeling down ...

[dramabird]

I'm halfway between ovulation and testing ... and I have the 2ww blues. I've been on the diet just shy of three months ... three months without bacon or burgers, breakfast or beer (and almost no peanut butter, either, which I'm missing a lot, too). And since I'm in the 2ww, I can't even turn to a glass of white wine or two to feel better.

Part of my discouragement stems from the fact that my weight, as of yesterday morning, has dropped to 96 lbs. (for you UK gals, that's about 6.8 stone). I started the LE diet at 107 lbs., so my BMI has gone from mid-19s to lowish-17s.

So now, in addition to feeling guilty when I eat (will *this* food or *this* one be the one that could ruin a sway?), I now feel guilty if I don't eat, because what if my weight drops enough that I don't ovulate next cycle (if I'm not pregnant this cycle). As a result, I haven't food journaled for the past week -- partially because I'm so tired of the tedious listing and math and partially because I tend to cut more calories when I see it written down -- and I don't think I can resume it unless AF arrives and I'm on to cycle 3.

I'm also so tired of eating the same things (mushrooms, zucchini, rice, pasta, blah blah blah) and having to avoid so many things either because they're too healthy or because they're crammed to overflowing with sodium. I miss avocados and macaroni and cheese and eating as much bread as I want ... ug, whine, whine, whine.

And it seems like BFPs and "it's a girl!" posts are popping up everywhere -- so happy for everyone, but also so green-eyed with jealousy! I'm a jerk.

What if I have to keep up this diet (plus trying to not gain or lose weight at this point) for months and months ... or what if I do all this and still don't get a girl?

None of this is original to me and I know so many of you are (or have been) in a similar place. But I just needed somewhere to vent. I'll perk back up at some point.

Blerg.

[amari]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, I am feeling it too if it makes you feel any better. Like, exactly the same! I feel like I don't eat to keep my bs down, but then I have to eat within the limits of the diet the same old foods, but then I end up adding a bunch of sweets to make sure I don't drop anymore weight, I already don't ovulate and I am scared I won't conceive. It is really hard! I miss peanut butter and pizza, and fries and brie cheese and just plain eating whenever I want to pop something in my mouth! And yes, it does seem like everyone is getting pg, which is great! But feels like you will be eating white rice and zucchini for the rest of your life. I also feel like my friends are sick of me not eating drinking with them, having no energy to really have fun with them, and same with my kids. I have no spunk in me anymore. Not sure how much longer I can do this but don't want to gain a bunch of nutrition/weight then conceive a boy. Not sure what to do? This 93-95lb range is def making me low energy and just plain BLAH! Sorry, just thought I would rant there with you, did it make you feel better or worse??

[coocoobananas]

Wow! Can I join the club? Although I have taken another turn in this 2 ww... Fallen off the wagon! I start with not eating breakfast but as soon as I start I can't restrain myself! I have in my head that maybe this is as far as I want to go with this diet! I don't think I have it in me to try anymore! And for what? A boy I know I'll still get? I have to get back on fitness pal and focus but I just don't think my heart I'd in it anymore! I want to exercise and have almond butter and a smoothie! And I want to stop having this diet as an excuse for why I am low and poopy towards my boys!!
If I do continue I will forever wonder if these cheats impacted my sway! This month I have to up the calories as I was losing too fast! I think people think I'm anorexic!!
Anyway I hope you gals can find the drive as you have put in so much time already! I hope you get bfps so soon... I don't know if I even want one now! I kinda just dtd because I put so much effort into the sway! Ah geeze!!
Good luck! Must not be that much help, but you have some company!
Btw after saying all that, Atomic getting her girl has lit a little fire under my butt...

[Ribbons]

coco, srsly atomic having a girl is also lighting a fire under my butt and I am sure that is something she can be very proud of being able to say "girl" and proving to the world that her theory does, in fact, work!

I have not fallen off the wagon per-say but I feel it coming... I've been really, really good, only a few planned cheat days for the last 2 months but I did my best to keep those under control... but this diet is indeed SO HARD. My birthday is coming up on 4/8, just 2 weeks before our first planned attempt (and my hubby is planning something BIG b/c I asked him if we could celebrate it a week early and he said NO! He knows how much I want this, so ACK!)

[Cinss]

What if I have to keep up this diet (plus trying to not gain or lose weight at this point) for months and months ... or what if I do all this and still don't get a girl?


Blerg.

But what if you do all of this and DO get a girl? I know it is hard because you are in it at the moment, but really it is a teeny tiny slice of your life time which could change the rest of your life.

[atomic sagebrush]

At any point if you're feeling this way, it's time to start dropping sway factors and get pg!!

The fact is, it DOES happen for people who sway a long time and still get an opposite. There was just a woman on IG who swayed for TWO YEARS and conceived an opposite. So in the grand scheme of things, since there are no guarantees to any of this and no proof that longer sways = more girls anyway, it's best to compromise between having a good (NOT perfect) sway and getting pg quickly.

[atomic sagebrush]

coco, srsly atomic having a girl is also lighting a fire under my butt and I am sure that is something she can be very proud of being able to say "girl" and proving to the world that her theory does, in fact, work!

I have not fallen off the wagon per-say but I feel it coming... I've been really, really good, only a few planned cheat days for the last 2 months but I did my best to keep those under control... but this diet is indeed SO HARD. My birthday is coming up on 4/8, just 2 weeks before our first planned attempt (and my hubby is planning something BIG b/c I asked him if we could celebrate it a week early and he said NO! He knows how much I want this, so ACK!)

LOL I wish it proved anything, but I may have just gotten lucky this time, of course!! (tho I do hope we've proved you can conceive a girl without cal-mag, if nothing else!)

Now once we have a hundred people on here and preferably more, most of whom have gotten their DG, then we can say we proved something!!

[atomic sagebrush]

At any point if you're feeling this way, it's time to start dropping sway factors and get pg!!

The fact is, it DOES happen for people who sway a long time and still get an opposite. There was just a woman on IG who swayed for TWO YEARS and conceived an opposite. So in the grand scheme of things, since there are no guarantees to any of this and no proof that longer sways = more girls anyway, it's best to compromise between having a good (NOT perfect) sway and getting pg quickly.

I was thinking about this a little more last night. When I was in the Mature Mamas group back on IG, a lot of those girls were doing very intense sways and weren't getting pg for months/years. I'm pretty sure there were some whispers when my sway went bad, that it was because I was in too big a hurry to get pg and wasn't willing to do the douching, O+12, abstain, etc. that I felt like was keeping the MMs from getting pg and I had kind of gotten what I deserved because as we all know, on IG, if you're not willing to go on until menopause getting BFN, you don't "deserve" your DG.

But the sad thing is tho (and I do not mean this to tear down anyone's sway at all, as an "I told you so" or in any negative fashion, but as a cautionary tale for all of you ladies who are currently swaying and are debating the merits of a "perfect" sway vs. a "good enough and got my BFP" sway) is that being in a hurry to TTC the last time ended up paying off for me in the end - yes, I did get an opposite with my last sway but I had TIME to try again (if only barely). I just hate seeing people wasting more time on swaying than absolutely necessary for success, since there are no guarantees anyway! Because we ALL deserve our DG and I want more than anything for everyone to get it.

It's one thing if you really really do not want and cannot handle an opposite (and in that case you really ought to be doing HT if at all possible and not swaying anyway), but I think sometimes swaying/gender disappointment is contagious and when you're surrounded by people who are swaying their little hearts out and petrified of getting an opposite, that attitude can spread to you even if you're not that concerned about an opposite to begin with.

[Flava]

dramabird-Im sorry you feel so sad .Eat something!! I was around The same weight like you when I got DD1 and 2 and just a little more with DD3. And I do drink some wine in the 2ww if that makes you feel better...
I also swayed for a long time on IG and did not got what I wanted! Now I got a bfp first try and Im freaking fat this time!
Well see what is it...