If it fails, is the disappointment WORSE than gender disappointment?

[maidentomother]

Lemonade, I am pretty sure the odds of getting a girl with a strong proper sway (strict vegetarian LE diet, no breakfast or snacking, 60+ min cardio daily, one BD attempt in fertile period) are much higher than the overall 60-65% statistic, more like 80-90%. But a lot depends on your willpower/determination...without being utterly obsessive.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks 1+2+3boys... the MCs actually happened BEFORE I had DS1. Then I had my healthy DS2 right after him. There were no answers from any doctor, all my tests came back normal. It was just bad luck, and now that I have had 2 healthy kids in a row, I believe it.

The same explanation would be given if HT failed. Just bad luck, even if everything lined up perfectly. Except this time, the bad luck has $20,000+ and 6 months of stress and emotions behind it. I love LacePrincess's velcro ball metaphor. And with so many people saying "it's wise to plan for more than one cycle, as often the first try doesn't work" it goes from a fairly expensive gamble to a VERY expensive gamble pretty quickly. As in, it doubles. It would be different if there was any form of a refund, or even discount, but it seems like that's out of the question with this kind of PGD.

The more I think about it, the more it seems to me that odds are actually higher I'd have a girl next naturally, especially with a sway, than doing HT and having a healthy XX embryo to transfer, actually stick, and last an entire pregnancy through HT on the first try. Am I way off in thinking this?

I have actually seen this happen quite a bit, it's almost as if for some people, your body has to learn how to be pregnant and they have some miscarriages before they ever get pregnant, and something about the miscarriages alter their hormones in such a way as to make future pg more successful. This is partly why some people say MC up fertility, they probably don't up odds of conception, but it may help the chances that a pg works out.

I do think that many people have a better chance coming out of swaying with their DG than with HT. I can't speak to any one person's chances. The thing is though, that you have to accept the (very real) possibility that it won't go your way and then you'll have a pregnancy, birth, recovery, and child to raise for the next 18 years, YK? Only HT can remove that possiblity.

[atomic sagebrush]

Lemonade, I am pretty sure the odds of getting a girl with a strong proper sway (strict vegetarian LE diet, no breakfast or snacking, 60+ min cardio daily, one BD attempt in fertile period) are much higher than the overall 60-65% statistic, more like 80-90%. But a lot depends on your willpower/determination...without being utterly obsessive.

Clomid, exercise, longer on diet, one attempt all get much better odds of success than the overall stats of the site. We include everyone in our numbers even when people don't do things "my way".

[1+2+3boys]

hmmm, the grass is starting to look greener...

[1+2+3boys]

I think I have drafted a plan that works for me. I am younger so should try HT first. If we can afford it in the next 4-5 years then I will do that and if it does not work or I can not do it then I will sway. Best of both worlds but in the order that works for me. I think what ever the plan I am not ready for another child right now so I need to try and put my GD aside and just focus on raising my boys to be the best men they can possibly be, and have alot of fun doing it.
My DP adores his Mum so hopefully one day that will be me x3

[LacePrincess]

Be happy you have time on your side! Gosh it feels like just yesterday I was only 30 and felt like I had all the time in the world. And good grief where did the last 5 years go?!? :P

[1+2+3boys]

Yeah, I can't believe I will have a school aged child in a couple of months. That means I had a baby 5 years ago. I've been a Mum for half a decade. I know I am SO lucky to have time on my side in regards to hoping to do HT

[LacePrincess]

Yeah, I can't believe I will have a school aged child in a couple of months. That means I had a baby 5 years ago. I've been a Mum for half a decade. I know I am SO lucky to have time on my side in regards to hoping to do HT

Hahaha that's nothing! My BABY is going to be grade one next fall. My baby!! And my eldest is going to be hitting puberty soon. Oh dear Lord where did the time go?!?

[1+2+3boys]

Wow. I can't even imagine that!

[LacePrincess]

Wow. I can't even imagine that!

Yah, makes me feel old. I mean I really don't feel old AT ALL, in fact I'm fitter, healthier, and feel younger than I ever did in my twenties, but something about having a kid hit his preteens that just heralds a whole new life stage.

On the upside, at DS2's dance school last month, one of his classmates asked me if I was my son's sister! I might have preened just a bit......It felt pretty good!